Total Drama Ocean
by scubadivingmaui7
Summary: Season Five of Total Drama, folks! The show is taking to the high seas - this time, with members of both casts competing for the five million dollar prize! Join multiple personality Mike, party-loving Geoff, fame mongering Dakota, loud n' proud Leshawna, and maybe even an original character on the greatest ocean journey reality TV has ever seen!
1. Total Drama Reunion

Warning: This Total Drama fic contains spoilers about the winner of _Total Drama: Revenge of the Island._ Do not read this story unless you've finished the season, unless you want to be spoiled. In that case, feel free to go ahead.

**Episode 00, Part 1:**

**Total Drama Reunion**

"It's been a long year since you've last seen Total Drama, but I'm here to bring it back!" Chris Maclean, the black-haired, handsome host of thirty-five, stood on a tropical beach, the water lapping at his feet. "That's right! After a long year spent in prison after a little nuclear incident that I had absolutely _nothing _to do with, I, Chris Maclean, the host with the most, have returned to bring the drama to you!

Chris began to walk down the sandy shore. "Here's the deal. It's been a long time since the cast of Total Drama last saw each other – those goofy, lovable kids who battle and backstab shamelessly for a million dollar prize – so we've decided to invite them to a reunion, here, at this beautiful five-star resort in Hawaii!" He gestured to a large beachside resort behind him. "There will be heart-touching moments as friends and couples reunite – and, more importantly, fights and random violence as old enemies are once again forced into close proximity!" He laughed. "During this, we'll get to interview the kids and see what's been going on in their lives once the show ended. And maybe we'll even do a challenge or two, for old time's sake." He chuckled loudly, as if he knew a secret that no one else did. "So stay tuned, because you won't want to miss a single moment of…

"Total… Drama… the Reunion!"

_(Cut to Revenge of the Island theme song)_

"Welcome back. We're here at the famous Oceanside Resort, where our first guests should be arriving soon." Chris looked around, admiring the glorious accommodations. He was in the hotel's lobby, which had a huge, arching ceiling, opened up to the sky, and a large fountain standing in the middle. Several uniformed staff members were setting up a large buffet table for the guests of honor.

A college-aged employee with a mop of brown hair was carrying a platter to the table, when a forty-something sandy-haired woman, prim, proper, and the manager of the hotel, pulled him back by his collar. "Nathaniel, I'm going to tell you what I've told the other employees," she hissed. "This reunion that we're hosting is for a very famous television show, and this resort is going to be seen on TV all over the world. This program has the potential to reel in tourists from around the globe. So, if you mess up anything today, your job is history."

"Gotcha, compadre!" The kid saluted her, holding the platter in his other hand. "This reunion is in the bag! I'm gonna serve those kids so good, that afterwards, they'll be all, 'Woah! We just got served!' "

"Okay, okay, I get the drift," said the manager, clapping a hand over Nathaniel's mouth. "Just know that you'd better do a good job, or your job is on the line." She gruffly pushed him forward.

"While they're here, our contestants will be able to relax, mingle, and even eat real food – a privilege that they never had while on the show. Isn't that right, Chef?" Chris mockingly called. The large cook and co-host was struggling to cross the lobby to the elevator while straining underneath a pile of suitcases nearly three times his height.

"Boy, you somehow duped me into carrying your luggage all the way from the airport and now to your room," Chef Hatchet snapped, sweating under the large load. "Believe me, if you care about your health, the last thing you want to do is insult me!"

"All right, all right, cool your jets, big man." Chris chuckled at the camera. "Dude's attitude is as bad as his cooking. Ow!" A suitcase flew across the room and knocked him to the ground. Chris stood, rubbing his head, and tried to regain his composure. "For you poor souls who don't know what Total Drama is, I'll do a quick run-down for you. The premise is simple. We get a bunch of teenagers together to compete in a variety of risky and humiliating challenges. After each challenge, the losers have to vote someone off amongst them, who is permanently kicked out of the contest. In the end, the last man standing gets a large cash prize.

"Total Drama has had four seasons so far. The first three were with the same cast of twenty-two teenagers, the original players of Total Drama Island. The fourth and most recent season, however, consisted of a cast of thirteen new contestants. Today, _both_ casts are coming, and will meet up with each other for the first time!" He chuckled and rubbed his hands together. "Oh, it's gonna be great."

* * *

Confession Cam – in one of the hotel's highly polished bathrooms, complete with urinals and stalls in the background.

**Chris** If at any time the contestants wish to say something private, or just get something off of their chests, they can use our spectacular confession cam which, in the true spirit of Total Drama, is located in one of the hotel's bathrooms.

* * *

Chris squinted as a taxi pulled up outside the glass doors. "And it looks like our first guest is here! Everyone, please give a warm welcome to… Blaineley!"

Two employees held the door open, and in stepped a gorgeous blonde woman in her early thirties. She wore a red dress and red hoop earrings over her petite form.

"Blaineley! How goes the talk show biz?"

Blaineley's eyes narrowed, and she slapped Chris across the face. "How dare you bring us back _here_, after what happened last time! Do you know how hard it is to outswim a volcanic eruption when you're in a full-body cast and strapped to a dolly? It's not easy, I tell you!"

Despite the stinging on his face, Chris couldn't help but chuckle. "Yeah, that was great. We really need more volcanoes on this show."

"I don't even know why I'm required to be here. Do I look like a teenager to you? I was hardly in the contest for two episodes, and even that was because of a fluke."

"True, but all contestants have contractual obligations to appear for a reunion special," said Chris. "And you technically are a contestant. You gotta learn to read the fine print."

He backed up quickly as Blaineley shoved a finger in his face. "I'm required to be here, but I'm not required to participate. I'm not going to play any of your little games, Maclean. You're not going to get any satisfaction from me." She stormed past him and collapsed onto one of the comfy chairs lining the lobby, snapping at one of the employees to bring her a drink.

"Eesh," said Chris. His attention turned back to the front doors as a seething goth girl walked in. "And look! It's everyone's favorite goth girl, Gwe – " He cut off as Gwen slammed her knee into his groin, and he collapsed onto the ground, whimpering in pain.

"That's what you get for bringing us back here when last time we nearly died!" As she stormed away, a punk with a skull shirt and a green mohawk cracked up at Chris.

"Oh, that's why I love this girl!" he said, and put an arm around Gwen. "I cannot tell you how many times I've wanted to do that."

"I hope this doesn't become a pattern," Chris moaned from the ground. "And… that's… Duncan. Arrgh…" He painfully pulled himself to his feet, as the door opened again. A black-haired Oriental girl had entered, but appeared to be trying to pull someone else through the door.

"Come on, stop acting so pathetic!" she said. "Just get in here already so we can get this over with!"

"Heather," said Chris. "Our unfriendly neighborhood queen bee."

"You jerk!" Heather spat, turning to face Chris. "Why did the reunion have to be here, of all places? The place where he got his 'condition?' Thanks to you, he's acting all mopey and distant. Ugh, it's disgusting." She squinted at him. "And why does your voice sound so much higher than usual?"

"No reason," said Chris quickly, clearing his throat and getting his voice back to its normal pitch.

Heather turned back to the door. "Al, just get in here already!"

Something else pushed through the door, and everyone in the room gasped. Blaineley nearly dropped her drink. Several employees froze on the spot. Duncan and Gwen watched with open mouths. A large, metallic body wheeled in. Large claws sprouted from its sides. A box-like head had the smiling and frowning theater masks in the place of eyes, and a meter in the place of a mouth, giving the being a perpetual frown. A continuous, deep exhaling and inhaling came from the robot as its breathing apparatus functioned. "Alejandro!" proclaimed Chris.

"I told you, don't call me Al," the robot said, in a deep, uh, robotic voice.

"Well I wouldn't have if you had just come in!" snapped Heather.

"Alejandro," said Chris again. "Looking good in the drama machine!"

"He's been bad enough since he was first put into that stupid robot," Heather said to Chris, "but now that you've brought him back to the place where his lava incident happened, he's more distant and withdrawn than ever!" She looked behind her, and saw that Alejandro had wheeled over to a window. "Arrgh! See what I mean?"

Alejandro stared out over the jungle at Kilauea Volcano, smoking placidly in the distance. "It was there that I lost it all," the metallic voice rumbled. "My looks… my charisma… my very body, transformed in one moment… My whole life, gone with the lava, just like the million dollar prize."

"Yeah, and your mind's going to be gone with it, if you don't lighten up," grumbled Heather, grabbing his shoulder and pulling him away. She looked at Chris, who was laughing. "You find this funny?!"

"Oh, yeah," said Chris, wiping a tear from his eye. "His deep emotional pain – it's hilarious!" He saw Heather's enraged look, and quickly covered his face with his hands. "Don't hurt me!"

Heather scoffed and walked past him. Chris sighed in relief. As Alejandro rolled by, he rolled over the host's foot, and Chris jumped and howled in agony.

Despite Duncan and Gwen's hostile relationships with Heather and Alejandro, even they felt sorry for Alejandro's plight. "Hey, man," said Duncan as Alejandro rolled by. "How's the relationship with Heather going?"

The head slowly turned, giving Duncan an expressionless, robotic stare. Alejandro then continued on. "Oh, so that's how it's gonna be, huh?" said Duncan, raising a fist.

Chris recovered as the employees opened the door once again, and a sneering redheaded boy wearing a muscle tee walked in. His eyes darted around the room, eyeing the other contestants suspiciously.

"Scott!" Chris said gleefully. "That's right! This reunion is also for contestants of the second cast – not just the old, washed-up original contestants!" Heather frowned at this.

"Scott," said Chris, putting a hand on the kid's shoulder. "Nice to see you out of the trauma chair. Enjoying control over your body again?"

"Ah, yes, Chris," said Scott. "That reminds me. I haven't seen you since I became able to move again." Scott punched Chris in the face. "That's for paralyzing me, you jerk!"

* * *

Confession Cam

**Scott** Selfless little bubble-boy Cameron spent all his prize money on the other contestants, and gave me enough mula to have an operation to restore my body and regain control of my motor functions. Don't get me wrong – it's expensive to get fixed when the majority of your body has been eaten by a mutant shark. I know I may look normal, but a lot of this stuff is actually artificial, put in by the docs. See? (He lifts his shirt and raps his knuckles up and down his ribs, they let off a xylophone-like jingle). I… I really owe Cameron big time. If it weren't for him, I'd still be trapped in that trauma chair… (He shivers slightly, his eyes getting wide and staring into space). That was the worst time of my life… I couldn't move, I couldn't speak, and… all of the other contestants laughed at me. In my weakest moment, they laughed at me. I couldn't even stand up for myself. I could do nothing… nothing… but cry. (He sits on the sink and rocks back and forth in a fetal position).

* * *

Chris' eyes fluttered open, and he saw Chef in a nurse's uniform, pulling away and wiping his mouth. The host realized what had happened, and quickly sat up, spitting. "Dude! What did you do that for!"

"Ginger kid there knocked you out," said Chef. "I had to make sure you were alive."

Scott smirked, and Duncan gave him a thumbs-up.

"Okay, dude," said Chris, standing up. "I don't care if I'm on my deathbed, I don't want you kissing me!"

"That wasn't a kiss, pretty boy, it's called mouth-to-mouth!"

"Well then how do you define a kiss, you sick monster?" said Chris. He saw a taxi pulling up outside, and quickly pushed Chef aside. "Quick, quick, here comes another contestant, get out of the shot."

A huge teen, wearing a shirt with a maple leaf on it and with a girth to make sumo wrestlers envious, burst through the doors. "Woo-hoo! Back for more, baby! I love this show!"

"Owen! Finally, someone who won't want to maim me on sight! Give me five!" Chris raised his hand for Owen to high-five. Owen enthusiastically raised his arm, but in his excitement missed Chris' hand and hit him in the face.

"Oh, sorry, Chris! It's just that I'm so psyched to be here! I've missed everybody so much!" He gasped in joy, and ran over to hug Chef. "Chef! It's so nice to see you! Oh, how I've missed your cooking!" He saw Duncan and Gwen, and wrapped an arm around each of them. "Gwen! Duncan! Nice to see you guys!

"Nice to see you too, Owen," Gwen grunted, grinning under the strain of the hug.

"How's it going, dude?" said Duncan, high-fiving him.

Owen saw Heather and Alejandro, and gasped. He dashed over to them, also wrapping his arms around them (well, he tried with Alejandro, though his robotic frame was a bit too large). "Hey, you two guys! So how's the relationship going?"

"Urk," Heather managed to say, crushed by the large teen's embrace.

"And what about you, Al?" said Owen. "How's life been working out for you? Al? Al? Al! Al? Al! Al! Al?"

Alejandro's claw twitched, as if he were trying to withhold himself from strangling the other teen.

Owen suddenly spotted the buffet table. "Oh! Is that… for us?"

Chris nodded. "It's for you guys –"

He hadn't even finished saying 'you' when Owen dashed for the buffet. Nathaniel, the young employee, was balancing a platter piled high with sloppy joes, announcing, "Okay, guys, we got sloppy joes for anyone who wants them –" when he was tackled by Owen, sending sloppy joe juice splattering all over the walls and floor. A large serving splattered onto Blaineley's head.

"Ahh! My hair!" she screamed, racing for the bathroom.

Nathaniel looked up from the floor, covered head-to-toe with sloppy joe, and stared at Owen in shock, who was sitting on the floor and shoving the sandwiches into his mouth. Owen saw Nathaniel, and suddenly looked awkward. "Uh, sorry. Did you want one?"

The doors opened again, but instead of a person walking through, there was a cloud of noxious gas. Chris and the contestants coughed, and a darkly (fake) tanned girl with a large poof of hair materialized out of the smog, coating her hair in hairspray. "Oh, yeah. That's the stuff," she said in a thick Jersey accent. "Just a little more and I'll be the most gorgeous girl here! Hey!" Chris swiped the can of hairspray.

"Anne Maria, the Jersey Shore reject," said Chris unenthusiastically.

" 'Reject' is not the right word for it," Anne Maria said. "And give me back my hairspray!"

"No! People are trying to breathe in here!" said Chris. Anne Maria smacked him with her hair, which wouldn't have hurt had it been any person other that her. However, Anne Maria's poof was so abundantly coated with hairspray that it was the equivalent of being hit with a frying pan. Dazed, Chris let go of the hairspray, which Anne Maria continued to apply. The other contestants moved away, coughing.

The doors opened once again, and in walked two people, passionately kissing.

"It's our party boy Geoff and our surfer girl Bridgette!" said Chris, gesturing to the pink-open-open-shirted-cowboy-hat-wearing-dude and the sunbleached blue-hoodie-wearing blonde. When there was no response from the two except for wet kissing sounds and the occasional giggle of pleasure, Chris frowned. "Come on! Is all you two ever do make out? You already spent a whole season doing that!"

The two pulled apart briefly. "Sorry, Chris, dude!" said Geoff. "It's just that we're so happy to see each other again!"

"We live so far apart, we've only gotten to see each other a couple times over the past year," said Bridgette. She placed a hand on Geoff's cheek and gazed lovingly into his eyes. "Oh, I've missed you, schmoopy-schmoo!"

Heather scoffed at this, but the two ignored her. "I've missed you too, my surfer babe!" said Geoff, and they resumed kissing.

"Eesh," said Chris, as the two walked away. "Moving on…"

* * *

Confession Cam

**Geoff** I love Bridgette. I really think we're meant to be! I mean, we've been through so much – me going all Captain Hollywood, and that little incident with Alejandro and the pole, and her getting shipped off to Siberia, even getting voted off because of our love – and yet, we've gotten over those hardships and our relationship is still as strong as ever! We're one of the few couples left that's been together since first season – I tell you, man, she and I are meant for each other! Whoo-hoo!

* * *

Bridgette and Geoff made their way to their old friends Gwen and Duncan, and began chatting.

At the back of the room, Nathaniel had changed clothes and was re-entering the lounge when the manager pulled him aside. "I didn't appreciate that sloppy joe stunt, kid."

"That wasn't my fault! The big guy just rammed into me! Besides, he's happy. See?" Owen was still on the ground, covered in sloppy joe juice, and licking the platter. "As long as the customer's happy, I did a good job right?"

The manager snorted. "Listen, Nathaniel. You are in the same age group as these contestants. Which means, when making opinions about the resort, they're mostly going to be looking to you. Which means you'd better give them the best service they've ever been given in their lives, no matter how humiliating it may be."

"Gotcha, ma'am."

"If they make a mess, you clean it up."

"Yes, ma'am, but –"

"If they want you to chew their food for them, you better well chew their food."

"Uh, ma'am –"

"If they want you to strip naked and dance while blindfolded on a –"

"Ma'am, the camera's on us."

"Oh!" The manager quickly straightened and turned to the camera. "We here at Oceanside Resorts care deeply for our staff."

Another couple walked into the hotel. "Everyone, please give a warm welcome to multiple personality Mike and our only child Zoey!" said Chris. The dark-skinned boy with wild hair and the redheaded, flower-wearing girl were clasping hands and gazing lovingly into each other's eyes. "So how goes things?"

"Better than ever before," murmured Mike, grinning at Zoey.

"We live such a long ways away, it's been really hard to see each other," said Zoey. "But now, we get a whole weekend in Hawaii to do nothing but spend time with one another!" In the background, Heather scoffed indignantly.

* * *

Confession Cam

**Heather** All these couples complaining about having a hard time seeing each other because of living far away? They try having a boyfriend who lives in a different country!

* * *

Anne Maria suddenly rushed over to the couple, knocking Zoey away with her hips and grabbing Mike's hands. "Vito, baby, how nice to see you? How about a big smooch from Annie Maria?" She pursed her lips, and Mike recoiled.

"Anne Maria, I told you already, Vito is gone!" he said, taking his hands back. "He wasn't even me. I'm Mike!"

"And he's _my_ boyfriend," said Zoey. Grumbling, Anne Maria moved on.

* * *

Confession Cam

**Mike** It's been a year since any of my multiple personalities have given me any trouble, and I think they're gone for good! Just thinking of Zoey always calms my mind, and lets me know that I'm in control. Even though we haven't been able to see each other much, we send letters and call all the time, and even if I'm feeling alone, I remember that she's still out there and still loves me – and no amount of distance can break that! You know, despite all of the pain and humiliation that Total Drama put us through, I think it may have been the best thing that's ever happened to me. It caused me to meet Zoey, and through that, helped me overcome my multiple personalities. Thank you, Total Drama.

* * *

Chef, editing the confessional cams for television broadcast, wiped a tear from his eye. "Awh. You're welcome."

* * *

"And here comes our next contestant," said Chris. A short, scrawny black boy, wearing glasses and a red hoodie, was having trouble pushing open the doors. "Cameron!"

The employees opened the doors for him, and he stepped in, saying, "Thanks."

"Cameron!" screamed Mike and Zoey, who rushed to his sides and embraced him.

"Mike! Zoey!" the three laughed, until they realized someone was else was hugging Cameron, too.

"Oh, Cameron, I love you so much, thank you thank you thank you," sobbed Scott, wrapping his arms around Cameron's midsection.

"Uh, you're welcome, Scott," said Cameron. He tried to move away, but Scott held him tightly. "Um, could you please let me go now?"

Mike and Zoey, meanwhile, glared at Scott, who wasn't exactly their favorite person.

"Hey, doll, how's it goin'?" Anne Maria cooed, wrapping her arms slyly around the smaller teen. "Thanks for all the hairspray and the fake tan, I owe ya."

"No problem," said Cameron. Anne Maria pulled away, and Cameron stared in surprise at the orange blotches all over him.

"Oops! Maybe a little too much fake tan. Sorry, hon."

"Cameron, living proof that yes, you can buy your friends," said Chris, shoving the group aside. "Now get out of the shot, I need more screen time!"

The five grumbled and headed away. "Jerkwad!" snapped Anne Maria.

"That's better," said Chris, as the camera focused on him. And now for our next contestant – Noah!"

The unimpressed-looking Indo-Canadian boy looked around the room. "Oh, boy. Here to torture us some more, Chris? How tantalizing."

Chris chuckled. "Oh, Noah, you silly cynic, trying to be all cynical." He looked at the camera. "Dude thinks he runs the show."

Noah rolled his eyes. "Yeah, like you're any better. You have to pain and humiliate teenagers to feel good? My, what high self esteem you have."

Chris balked. "Hey, I'm the host. I'm what draws in the viewers! I'm great!"

"You think people watch the show because of you? Yeah, right, the audience could care less about you. It's because of the contestants that people watch. The audience likes to see how far their favorites get. If you were replaced with a different host right now, people would still watch the show. In fact, that change may even bring in more viewers."

Chris began to sniffle. "How can you say that?"

"What, is the cold reality too much for you? Can't stand a taste of your own sadism? Think about where you would be right now without this show, Chris. That's right. You're nothing without us. Hey, you tearing up a little? Going to have your celebrity meltdown?"

Chris suddenly got an idea. "Owen!" he called. "Look who's here!"

"Hmm?" Owen looked up from the sparkling platter. "Noah!"

"No!" Noah tried to call, but was tackled in an oxygen-restricting hug.

"Hey, little buddy, how've you been? C'mon, we gotta make up for old time before these sloppy joes kick in! They do quite a number on my digestive system." He farted, and chuckled as he dragged Noah away. "Oops! Already kickin' in! Heh heh heh."

"Little twerp, saying that I'm not the center of attention on this show." He looked up as Blaineley exited from the bathroom, cleaned up from the sloppy joe incident. "You! You couldn't host this show better than me!"

"Whatever, as if I even care about this stupid show," said Blaineley, sitting on the couch.

"My great-great grandfather invented hosting," said a voice behind Chris. "Before then, wasps and caterpillars coexisted peacefully. Or am I getting my definition of host mixed up?"

"Staci," Chris said, not thrilled. "And yes, you're getting the definitions of hosts mixed up."

"In your case, what's the difference?" Geoff called, earning laughter throughout the room.

Staci walked over to Cameron. "Yeah, Cameron, I wanted to thank you again for spending your prize money on me," said the overweight girl, dressed in all pink. "Without it, I would have never gotten to buy back the restaurant that my great uncle owned. Now the patrons can once again throw their food at the waiters and waitresses without fear of retribution."

"Uh, yeah," said Cameron, looking unsure. "No problem, Staci."

"They also can choose whether to use their silverware or not. Yeah, my great-great-great-great-great grandmother invented silverware. Before then, people just ate with their faces. They couldn't use their hands, because it was uncustomary in those days."

"Um, that's interesting. Exactly what period of human history are we talking about here?"

"Yeah, my great-great grandfather believed that silverware was for ninnies, and tried to bring back the old ways of using only your face. Unfortunately, a little incident involving the police caused him to be arrested."

"Staci? Can you please stop?" asked the timid boy nervously.

The room suddenly shook, as a small tremor traveled throughout it. The contestants looked up in alarm, and several glanced at Owen, who shrugged. "Wasn't me that time."

Another tremor shook the room, and several let out cries of fright. "Oh no! Please, don't tell me the volcano's erupting again!" cried Blaineley.

"Heather, my love, I won't let what happened to me happened to you!" Alejandro raised her over her head. "Save yourself!"

"Wait! Alejandro, put me down!" Heather shrieked, but he threw her out the nearest window.

The employees at the door ran in fright as a shadow fell upon them. The glass doors flew open, and an orange, reptilian foot stepped in.

Mike sighed in relief as several of the employees and original contestants hid. "Oh, it's just Dakota."

"Dakota, and our friendly neighborhood gamer, Sam!" announced Chris.

"Hi everybody!" said the frightening creature in a friendly singsong voice. Dakota stood fifteen feet tall, had bright orange skin, and had wicked-looking claws on her hands and feet. Spikes stuck out from her arms, and she had a thick tail swinging out behind her. Her hair was spiky and green, and her eyes were red and yellow. Her pink top and shorts were in rags, and looked about ten sizes too small. Despite all this, she looked genuinely pleased to see everyone. "Dakota and Sam are happy to be here!"

"Oh, yeah. So happy," said Sam, a slightly overweight, stubble-growing, glasses-wearing gaming enthusiast. He was being carried under Dakota's arm.

"Sam," said Chris. "You don't seem like your usual chipper self. Dating life giving you some trouble?"

"What? Trouble with Dakota? No way!" He gave his trademark 'Huh-huh-huh' laugh, as Dakota looked adoringly down at him. She spotted the rest of the second cast, and rushed over to them.

"Zoey! My buffufa!" The fifteen foot-tall mutant wrapped Dakota in a deathly tight embrace.

"Urgunkle," Zoey groaned, turning blue.

Meanwhile, the members of the original cast, most of whom had not met mutated Dakota, were hiding behind the buffet table. "Is that thing even human?" gaped Duncan.

"Yes," snapped Bridgette. "She was one of the contestants. I met her while doing a cameo… But Chris' stupid sadistic game resulted in her becoming this."

* * *

Confession Cam

**Sam** I love Dakota. When she was first mutated, I though she was really cute – she was like the hottest character in Mutazoid Five, huh huh. But dating a fifteen foot-tall mutant is harder than it sounds. Like that time when she took me shopping and the store didn't have anything in extra-extra-extra-extra-extra-extra-extra-extra-extra-large. (Superimposed on the screen in a picture of Dakota throwing clothes racks and ripping apart shirts as terrified shoppers run for their lives and Sam tries to calm her down.) Or the time that the paparazzi became too much even for her. (Superimposed on the screen is a picture of Dakota surrounded by flames, stomping on one limousine and ripping another in half above her head, as terrified reporters run for their lives.) I really like Dakota, but… I kind of wish the old her was back.

**Cameron **I tried to turn Dakota back to her old self with my prize money, but it just couldn't be done. The doctors said that her whole genetic makeup had been altered. So, unfortunately, she's stuck as a radioactive monster for the time being. I just hope that she and Sam are doing all right.

* * *

A boy with thick black hair and a guitar strapped to his back carried unconscious Heather, bridal-style, into the room. "Hey, did anybody drop this?" Trent froze as he saw Dakota, and slowly back-stepped out of the hotel.

"Trent, man? What's wrong?" Tough-looking but gentle football player DJ walked through the door, spotted Dakota, and fainted on the spot.

"Trent and DJ," said Chris. "Welcome."

Trent stared at Dakota as she dropped Zoey and waved at him, as Mike, Cameron, and Sam tried to revive the redhead. "Hi!"

"Um, hi," said Trent, grinning nervously. Geoff jumped over the table and ran to greet his friends.

"DJ! Trent! How's it going?" He helped DJ to his feet.

"I was b-better a few moments ago," said DJ, staring at Dakota.

"Fine," said Trent shortly. Heather moaned, and he gently set her on her feet.

"What happened? Oh…" She spotted Alejandro, rolling over to see if she was okay. "Alejandro, I'm going to kill you!" He turned and rolled the opposite way, as Heather charged after him. "Get back here!"

"Great to see you guys!" said Geoff.

"You too, man!" said DJ, high-fiving him.

"Yeah, you too," said Trent, not very enthusiastically. Geoff and DJ exchanged glances.

"You okay, man?" asked Geoff.

"Yeah. Fine." Trent shook his head, and smiled at his friends. "Want to check out the buffet? I'm starved."

* * *

Confession Cam

**Geoff** Something seems wrong with Trent. He's usually such a happy, laid-back guy! I wonder what's bothering him…

**Trent **(He looks at the camera, as if planning to say something, and then looks at the ground and sighs.) Another time, maybe.

* * *

"Hi-i!" rang a sing-songy voice.

"Hey, what's up?" said a somewhat less sing-songy voice.

"Lindsay and Beth, our two gal pals. A true example of beauty and the geek!"

Beth and Lindsay frowned. "Well that's not very nice," said Beth.

"Yeah, Kyle," said Lindsay. "I think you're just jealous because you know that you couldn't get a girl like Beth."

"Okay, first of all, it's _Chris._ And second –"

"Aw, you really think so?" said Beth.

"Of course! You're, like, the prettiest girl I've met ever!"

"Guys! As I was saying, I –"

"Aw, you're pretty, too!"

"Oh, yeah, I knew that already."

"I could get any girl I wanted!" said Chris.

"Really? You sure about that?" asked Beth, frowning.

"Yeah, Chip. If you're the most wanted host, then why haven't you ever had a girlfriend?"

"I – I –" Chris suddenly pushed them out of the shot. "Anyway, here come our next contestants, an even closer pair of BFFs, Sadie and Katie!"

The two were dressed in matching outfits, a whirlwind of pink, black, and white stripes. Katie was a thin African girl, and Sadie was larger and had Oriental features. "Actually, it's BFFFLs," said Sadie. "Best female friends for life!"

"Omigosh, Sadie, you are so smart!" said Katie.

"I'd make another Beauty and the Geek allusion, but neither of you could really be put in the beauty category." Chris chuckled maliciously.

"Omigosh, Chris, that was so mean," said Katie.

"Yeah. We're, like, both super pretty," said Sadie.

"Omigosh, Sadie, you think I'm pretty?"

"Of course!"

"Oh, I think you're super pretty too!"

"Wow! We're, like, meant for each other!"

"I guess that's why we're BFFFLs!" Katie and Sadie grabbed each other's hands and squealed, "EEEEE!"

"All right, all right, enough!" Chris said, grabbing his ears in pain. He grabbed Sadie and Katie and shoved them out of the shot. "Moving on!"

A dark skinned, muscular boy shot through the door, performing a handspring and landing perfectly on his feet. "Sha-Lightning's in the house! Why'd we have to come to this dump, anyway? Lightning don't want no reunion special!"

"Hey, I can do that, too!" Lightning looked back in surprise as a boy sporting a red headband and a tracksuit shot through the door, attempting a handspring but ending up on his face. "Aw, yeah," Tyler moaned. "We athletes own the game, don't we?"

"Athlete? Where? You don't look like no athlete," Lightning laughed.

"What are you talking about? I'm a total jock! I rule at sports!"

"Listen, loser," said a brunette woman, walking through the door. "I've seen athletic, and that right there was the complete opposite. Makes me proud to be a girl."

"Girl? What girl?" Lightning saw Jo's glare, and cracked up. "Ha ha! After that break, I totally forgot you weren't a guy!"

"Lightning, Tyler, and Jo," introduced Chris. "Two of which, at least, are great athletes."

"Hey, man, that is not cool," said Tyler angrily. "Just because she's a girl doesn't mean she's not athletic!"

"He was talking about you, loser," spat Jo.

"Whatever, Lightning needs his protein!" Lightning ran over to the buffet, pushing Owen out of the way. "Move over, chubby kid, that protein is mine!"

"Lindsay! My girl! How are you?" Tyler said, racing up to his girlfriend and opening his arms for a hug.

The blonde beauty squinted at him. "Ooh, you look really familiar. Have we met before?"

Tyler drooped. "Lindsay, you did this every time I visited you over the break."

"Lindsay!" Beth whispered to her. "It's Tyler! Your boyfriend! Remember?"

"Tyler?" Lindsay perked up. "Oh yeah! Tyler!" She squealed in glee and squeezed him tight, much to his delight.

Chris felt someone breathing down his neck, and whirled around to see a red-haired, glasses-wearing teen staring at him. "AAH! Harold! Don't do that!"

"What?" said Harold, confused. "I didn't do anything!"

"Don't worry, ginger baby, Chris is just the same old jerkwad," said loud n' proud sister Leshawna, walking in after him. "Don't let him get to you."

"Well, Harold and Leshawna," said Chris, "I _was_ going to introduce you, but after nearly giving me a heart attack, I don't think I will."

"You're lucky I don't have my num-yos on me," said Harold. "Gosh!"

"Come on, baby, don't pay him no mind," said Leshawna.

* * *

Confession Cam

**Leshawna** Harold may be a strange, scrawny little man, but he's still my peep. Still… I can't help but wonder if it's time to…

**Harold** Ah, Leshawna. Plus-sized object of my adorations! But still… I can't help but wonder… (He sighs sadly.)

* * *

"So. Ezekiel. Mister Homeschool." Chris was interviewing the prairie boy. "How are things going with you?"

"Good, eh!" said Ezekiel enthusiastically. The beanie-wearing boy had green skin, bloodshot eyes, and looked as if something had taken a bite out of his ear. He currently had a muzzle strapped to his face. "I know I may not look too good, but I'm way better than I was before, eh! Before I only had a few strands of hair left, forgot how to speak in a coherent language, and even lost my lucky beanie! Can you believe that, eh? I hadn't taken off this hat for ten years until then! But the obedience classes are working like a charm!"

"Right. And are you sure that you being here won't pose a danger to our lives?"

"Oh, yeah, eh. The only remnant of the old me is that sometimes I'll have little outbursts –" He suddenly let out an inhuman snarl, and then looked at the camera, embarrassed. "Um, like that, eh."

"A robot, a mutant, and now a feral kid," Nathaniel mumbled to another employee. "I thought this was just supposed to be a regular reality show."

Nobody heard the door open, but suddenly a dainty, petite girl glided in, one leg raised in the air behind her. She had long, flowing blonde hair, soft, baby-blue eyes, and a smile that made several of the contestants suddenly feel a strong urge to hug someone. Scott seemed to be the only one immune to this, and scoffed at her entrance.

"Dawn, the nature-loving aura whisperer," said Chris.

Dawn inhaled serenely through her nose, and breathed out peacefully, opening her blue eyes and surveying all the people in the room. "Chris, although I may not always agree with your sadistic ways, I am delighted that you chose to have the reunion in such a beautiful, nature-oriented place. It gives me an opportunity to meet so much more of my animal friends." As if on cue, a butterfly flew through the door and landed on her finger.

Bridgette laughed. "I like this girl already."

"Sorry, fairy princess, but our reason for being here is a little more sadistic than that," said Noah. "You weren't on the show the last time we were in Hawaii."

Chris laughed. "Yeah. That was pretty great." He leaned back as Dawn stuck her face in his, studying him with concern. "Um, personal space, please?"

"Your aura is especially purplish-brown today!" she said worriedly. "It seems you are feeling very oppressed. Has the bullying of the other contestants harmed you emotionally, and you are attempting to hide it underneath a shallow veil of self-aggrandizing?"

Without warning, Chris fell sobbing to the floor. This only lasted a few seconds, however; he quickly rose and dusted himself off. "No. No, I'm fine now." He then fell to his knees and cried loudly again, before getting back to his feet. "Okay. Now I'm fine. Move along, please."

Dawn walked past him, and was immediately met by Bridgette. "So, an animal lover, huh?"

"Oh, yes. And I sense you are deeply attracted to the ocean as well?"

Bridgette laughed. "Good guess!"

"Sierra, Cody," said Chris, as the next couple arrived. "I see that you're still being stalked, Cody. Have you just given up at this point?"

The scrawny geek smiled at the tall, dark skinned girl, whose purple braided hair had grown back. "No way, man! After our experience on the show, we're just good friends!"

"And I'm so happy to hang out with my Cody-wody-kins!" Sierra grabbed him in an oxygen-restricting hug, and then let go and smiled sheepishly. "Eh, sorry."

* * *

Confession Cam

**Cody** Sierra's kept her word and has been respecting me much more. You know, when she's not strangling you or trying to convince you that you're married to her, she's actually a really good friend. In fact, she's my best friend!

**Sierra** Hanging out with Codykins is the best thing EVER! Ever since we decided to be best friends, we've talked about respect and personal boundaries. Turns out Cody's even more fun to be around when I'm not strangling him or trying to convince him that we're married. He actually returns my affection! EEE! I know, right? Though not in a romantic way. (She sighs.) But now that we're best friends, I have all the time in the world to convince him otherwise! Hey, just because we're not dating doesn't mean I can't still like him.

**Noah** (Smirking at the camera) That girl is the most friendzoned girl I have ever met.

* * *

"Eva," said Chris, as the scowling ravenhaired weightlifter entered. She immediately punched him, and he fell to the ground. "Ow! I thought the punches were over!"

"You're lucky I'm in a good mood today," she growled, walking past. "Otherwise you might not be in one piece."

"Still the same charmer as ever," Gwen mumbled to her boyfriend. "And I think that I'm moody."

"Yeah, but that's what I like about you," said Duncan, kissing her.

The door opened, and a brown-haired, Hispanic girl walked in. Upon seeing Duncan and Gwen kissing, Courtney immediately turned and walked back out. "That's it! I refuse to stay here!"

"It's in your contract!" Chris called after her. "Chef!"

Chef ran after her and brought the girl back in, who was kicking and screaming. "Courtney, everyone!" said Chris.

"I don't want to be a part of this!" Courtney cried. "Not with those… adulterers here!"

"You don't have a choice," Chris replied gleefully.

"Ugh! My lawyers are so hearing about this." Courtney pulled out her PDA and began typing into it.

"Sheesh. Can't you just, like, socialize with the other teens?" Chris said. Chef put her down and pushed her roughly forward. Courtney shrieked as she nearly tripped, and then grumbled as she typed into her PDA.

Bridgette walked over to her old friend. "Hey Courtney, how have you been –"

"Don't talk to me," said Courtney, walking past her. Bridgette blinked in surprise.

* * *

Confession Cam

**Bridgette** Okay, I know that Courtney and I didn't have many chances to spend time with each other in later seasons, but did our friendship really mean that little to her?

**Courtney **Okay, maybe blowing Bridgette off like that was rather rude. But I don't want to have anything to do with this show anymore! Especially after… the incident. (She shudders.)

* * *

"Just a couple more, and then we'll get this show on the road," said Chris. The door opened again, and a large, burly African boy walked in. "Ah, B, Mr. Silent Treatment," said Chris. "Have anything to say?"

B had been waving at the camera, but frowned as Chris said this. "No? Anything at all? Well then, move on." Shrugging, B put his hands in his pockets and walked away.

"Officer Brick, reporting for duty." A crew-cut teen saluted Chris as he walked in.

"And here's Brick, our pants-wetting cadet," said Chris jovially.

"Hey! You didn't have to bring that up," said Brick, turning red.

"Brick!" Mike, Zoey, and Cameron ran up, saluting their former teammate. Brick saluted them back, and then the four laughed and embraced.

"Aww, ain't that cute," said Chris unenthusiastically. "Now, if you're not going to create any excitement or anything for the camera, get out of the shot!" He saw that the four had frozen, staring at the door. "Hell-o? You still in there? Oh." He saw the source of their sudden paralysis.

Strong chiseled features, wavy hair, and a dreamy smile caused all the female contestants (and Owen) to swoon, upsetting several boyfriends. Justin, the male model, had entered the room. "Justin," said Chris. "At last, someone nearly as handsome as me."

"Zoey? Hello, Zoey?" Mike waved his hand in front of his girlfriend's face. She drooled a little.

* * *

Confession Cam

**Alejandro** I used to be beautiful like that, only more so. And I had brains to go along with it. But now… I am but a tin can, my beauty trapped within these cruel steel walls…

* * *

Justin was still posing as he heard a wild war cry, starting quiet but getting quickly louder. "Oh no," he said, his eyes getting wide. "Is that…"

A blur of green and orange burst through the doors, and the wild redhead howled. "Izzy!" Chris proclaimed.

"Wow, this is great! Though this hotel is kind of a dump. Five stars, you say? More like negative five, oh-ho-kay? And wow, back in Hawaii? That was so fun last time! Except for the lava part. That hurt. I still have a burn mark on my butt! Wanna see?" She mooned the person who was nearest, who happened to be Justin.

The male model screamed. "My eyes! My beautiful, baby blue eyes!"

Owen sighed dreamily. "I miss that girl."

Izzy popped up behind him. "Miss you too, Big-O! Hey, you like food, right? Just check out this buffet table! This is perfect! Food fight!" She grabbed a bowl of egg salad and threw it over the contestants' heads. Within seconds, Duncan had happily joined the fray. Food splattered all over the walls, and employees ran for cover. Owen jumped up and down, trying to catch the flying treats in his mouth. Blaineley ran for the restroom, once again soaked with sloppy joe juice.

"Well that's everyone!" Chris said, as chaos unfolded behind him. "Just how long will our contestants be able to stand one another? And what will our mystery challenge be? Stay tuned to find out, on Total… Drama… The Reunion!" A bowl of jell-o splattered all over him. "Augh! My hair!"

"Suck on that, pretty boy!" Chef cackled.


	2. Total Drama: Revenge of the Reunion

**Episode 00, Part 2:**

**Total Drama: Revenge of the Reunion**

"Welcome back to the Total Drama Reunion! As the party continues, so does the drama, and we'll –" A passing frisbee caught Chris on the head, knocking him out of the shot.

The party had moved outside, onto the large stretch of beach behind the resort. The contestants were celebrating in the tropical warm sunshine and playing in the surf. Games of frisbee and beach volleyball were in process. Some lounged by the pool, while Katie and Sadie sat on the beach and made sand castles. Bridgette was teaching some how to surf, while Owen was, of course, at the buffet table.

"This food is so good!" he said to Staci, as he shoveled down hamburgers. "Isn't this food so good? It's, like, the best food I've ever tasted!"

"Did you know my great-great-great aunt made the first hamburgers?" said Staci. "Before then, people would just eat bread with lettuce and tomato."

Owen halted before chowing down on the burger in his hands, and removed the patty, staring at the sad remains. "Wow. It must have been hard in those days."

"You're telling me!" snapped Chef, standing at the barbecue. "I've already catered for four seasons, and now I have to do it at the reunion special!"

Owen and Staci cringed at the otherworldly slab of meat that Chef seemed to think was a hamburger patty. It moved.

"Um, Chef?" said Staci. "You do know you don't have to cook?"

Owen laughed. "Yeah, dude. The event's catered by the hotel."

Chef blinked. "Well ain't that a relief! It's high time I had a vacation." With a single swipe of his hand, Chef ripped off all his clothes, leaving only a revealing speedo. Owen and Staci screamed in shock, shielding their eyes.

Trent sat on the sand, slowly strumming his guitar, as he watched Tyler, Cody, Lightning, DJ, and Brick toss a frisbee to one another. Cody tossed it to Brick, who tossed it to DJ, who tossed it to Lightning. "Oh yeah! Touchdown!" proclaimed Lightning, throwing it at Cody.

"I don't think there are touchdowns in frisbee," Cody said, tossing the frisbee.

"Pssh. Whatever. Lightning can get a touchdown in whatever sport he wants."

Cody shrugged, and turned to Sierra, who was standing and staring at him in glee. "Do you want to play, Sierra?"

"Oh, no. I couldn't be more happier right now," she gushed, staring hungrily at Cody's shirtless body. Cody smirked and rolled his eyes.

Brick caught the frisbee, and meant to toss it to DJ, but accidentally threw it far over the Jamaican teen's head. "Oops," said Brick.

But a brown-and-blue blur streaked across the sky after it. Lightning grabbed the frisbee between his teeth, ricocheted off the side of the hotel, and landed next to the others.

"Woah! Cool! Nice moves, man!" Lightning smiled smugly at the praise, shifting his head so that the sun glinted off of his earring.

"Hey, dude! I can do that, too! Throw it to me!" Tyler cheered.

DJ looked cautious. "Uh, you sure about that, Tyler?"

A cruel laugh rang out, and the boys turned to see Jo passing by. "Give me a break, jockstrap. You couldn't catch a frisbee on your life."

Trent looked up from his guitar. "Hey, lay off. Give the man a chance."

Lightning shrugged. "Eh." He tossed the frisbee high into the air, as Brick had done. Excited, Tyler leapt after it, snapped his jaws as he tried to grab it with his teeth, missed completely, crashed through several beach umbrellas, and smashed painfully onto the concrete. Eva was pumping a man-sized weight, and barely took a moment to glance at him.

Tyler jumped to his feet. "Hey, hey! Lifting weights there, I see?"

"Yes," she replied, facing forward.

"Nice! I love me a good workout! Mind if I try?" He snagged the weight from Eva. One metallic bang and a slab of cracked concrete later, Tyler was on the ground, crushed by the heavy object. He groaned.

"Nice going, jock," said Eva.

DJ and Brick came running up. "You okay, comrade?" said Brick.

"Yeah… awesome," said Tyler, staggering to his feet as Eva lifted the weight. "That was great! Let's get back to the game again, huh guy OW!" He accidentally smacked his head against the weight that Eva was holding.

Trent placidly played a tune as the game went on in front of him. "Hey, Trent!" DJ called. "You seem kind of down. Come play a bit!"

"Yeah, c'mon, man," said Cody. "It looks to me like Katie and Sadie want to see some of your moves." He glanced at the BFFs, building a sand castle down the beach. They quickly looked away from Trent when they realized they'd been spotted.

"Aw, no thanks, guys. I'm not really feeling it right now."

"You know, Katie and Sadie fans will be devastated if their favorite man doesn't show off for them," said Sierra. "You can't do that to the fans."

Trent smirked. "All right, I'll play." The others cheered as he got to his feet.

"Free surf lessons, dudes!" Geoff's cry rang throughout the beach, as he ran past the pool with a surfboard over his head. "Taught by my excellent surfer babe, Bridgette! Who's with me?" Bridgette, Anne Maria, Dawn, Gwen, and B ran after him, all holding surfboards of their own. Geoff spotted Noah reading a book by the poolside, and perked up. "Noah! Want to go surfing, dude?"

Noah's eyes widened strangely for a second, but then he frowned again. "Uh, no thanks, that sounds like the worst possible thing right now."

"All right, dude, suit yourself!" Geoff went running and screaming to the water's edge.

Meanwhile, a game of beach volleyball was underway. Justin, Mike, Cameron, and Zoey were on one side, and Leshawna, Beth, Lindsay, and Harold were on the other.

"Guys, are you sure about this?" stammered Cameron, as Mike and Zoey pushed him into the court. "I've never played this game before. Or any kind of sport, for that matter. And that ball looks kind of heavy."

"Aw, c'mon, Cam," said Zoey. "You need to broaden your horizons."

"Besides, you've already won Total Drama," said Mike. "What could be worse than that?"

"Ready?" Beth served the ball. Mike hit it back, but Lindsay rushed for it and sent it over the net again. Zoey, Mike, and Justin did their best to keep it in the air, but Lindsay kept on coming, wowing her teammates, and tiring the other three.

"Wow, Lindsay," said Cameron, standing back nervously. "You're really good at volleyball!"

"Thanks, I know!" she gushed, smacking the ball into the air again. "I'm been on the volleyball team at school for ten years! It was the only subject Daddy didn't have to pay my teachers to change my grade in. Though I don't know why he did that, I had lots of F's for Fantastic!"

Mike, Zoey, and Justin were panting profusely. "We'll never win at this rate," Zoey said. "If only there was some way to hold her off!"

Justin's eyes flashed, and he ripped off his shirt, revealing his perfect body. The opposite team, mostly girls, was rendered helpless as its players were caught under his manly spell. Lindsay, Leshawna, and Beth stared at Justin dreamily.

"Geez. I'm glad Tyler isn't here to see his girlfriend acting like this." Mike looked over to Zoey. "Zoey? Zoey?" He groaned as he realized his girlfriend was entranced by Justin as well.

Harold suddenly found himself the last capable player on his team. "Leshawna?" He waved his hand in front of his crush's face, and looked downcast when he got no response. "Well, I guess it's time to bring out my mad volleyball skills!" The nerd jumped and hit the ball to the other side, where it flew towards Cameron. Cameron whimpered and lifted his arms to greet the ball. It plowed the bubble boy into the sand.

Dakota sat in a (now crushed) pool chair, with Sam in her lap, as she watched the volleyball game. "Can Dakota and Sam play volleyball?" she asked. "There's an odd number of players, so adding us two will even it out!"

"Dakota, even if that were true, or, at least, made sense," said Sam patiently, "I don't think that would be a good idea. You just, sort of… don't really know your own strength."

"What Sam mean? Dakota perfectly capable!" Dakota swung her arms as she said this, accidentally flinging a passing employee across the resort. "Oops. Sorry!"

Meanwhile, a certain brunette was pacing by the poolside, typing angrily into her PDA. "Stupid lawyers. Can't you just pick up the darn phone? I don't want to stay here any longer!"

"Ooh, someone sounds touchy." Blaineley smirked at Courtney from a pool chair. She was tanning, sporting a bikini and dark red sunglasses. "Not enjoying your free, all-expenses-paid tropical vacation?"

"What do you want?" Courtney said haughtily.

"Oh, nothing, nothing." Blaineley sipped from her drink. "Don't think that I want to be here, either. But so goes the show biz."

"Listen, Mildred," said Courtney. "I don't want to hear any lip from you. Between you and Chris, I've had enough of television hosts."

Blaineley lowered her glasses and eyes Courtney skeptically. "Really? You're comparing me to Chris? Surely even I can't be that bad."

"Well, true. Even you would be better to have as host than that sadistic maniac."

"Really? Me as host? Hmm, I wonder…"

"What, you creating an evil plot to steal his job or something?"

"Oh, no. You know, I was originally asked to host this show, but I turned it down. But becoming the host simply to torture Chris after all he's done to me… Now that sounds alluring."

Heather fumed past them, fists balled and shoulders bunched. "What's your problem, skimpy?" asked Blaineley.

"Have you seen Alejandro anywhere? He's being a total loser and hiding away from everyone."

"I think I saw Ironman over by Prairie Boy," said Blaineley. Heather muttered under her breath as she stomped on.

Ezekiel was sipping from a coconut drink, edging the straw through the spaces in his muzzle. "Hey, semi-human. Seen my boyfriend anywhere?"

"Huddling right there, eh," said Ezekiel. "And you don't have to be so snappy with me."

Heather dragged Alejandro out from behind a pool chair, which somehow had managed to hide his girth. "There you are! What do you think you're doing? You're being a complete embarrassment!"

"Why must I be forced to face the world?" Alejandro asked. "After all my struggles, my transformation, must I show off my terrible body to the masses who once adored me?"

"Why can't you just lighten up a little?"

"I have lost everything. I cannot lighten up. It is my fate to live out my life in this cruel, metal shell."

* * *

Confession Cam

**Heather **Lost everything? He still has me, doesn't he? The way he talks, it's like he doesn't even care about me anymore. (In a very un-Heather-like moment, a single tear falls from her eye. She wipes it away and, realizing what has happened, turns on the camera on fury.) Chris, if you dare show that, so help me I will rip out your eyeballs and shove them down your throat!

* * *

"Maybe you should try being nicer to him, eh," said Ezekiel. "Respect on both sides makes your relationship healthier."

"Get bent, you sexist homeschooled pig," snarled Heather.

"Sheesh. What did I ever do to you?"

"You tried to kill me on the train, and then threw my million dollars into a volcano!"

"Technically, that was my million dollars –" Alejandro silenced when Heather kicked him in the robot's 'groin,' though it couldn't possibly have hurt him.

"Well _sorry_, eh. You try locking yourself up with animals for eight weeks and see if you don't go feral. Anyways, the only time the old me really comes out is when I smell fresh meat –" The prairie boy froze.

At the buffet table, the young employee Nathaniel had opened the barbecue and began placing the hamburger patties onto a plate.

Ezekiel leapt from his chair and snarled, crashing onto the buffet table and scattering the burgers everywhere. He blinked, and then looked apologetically at Nathaniel. "I am so sorry, eh."

* * *

Confession Cam

**Heather** Alejandro is beginning to REALLY annoy me. He's like a big infant, all needy and mopey and annoying – yeah, I know he's upset about his whole robot thing. But, hello? What about my feelings? _I_ am his girlfriend, _I_ am the best thing that's ever happened to him! And I'm not supposed to be burdened just because he's a little upset over being deformed by magma!

* * *

Scott leaned against a wall, whittling a piece of driftwood into a sharp point. His eyes darted suspiciously among the other teens. "Got to go to the bathroom," he murmured to himself. He walked over to the men's restroom, and heard Heather's angry confessional rantings emanating from within.

"And you know what else is wrong with Alejandro? He's always complaining of how hard it is to scratch his butt when it itches in that metal suit…"

Scott frowned, and glanced out to sea. "Well, it's a big ocean," he said, and chuckled to himself.

He walked out until he was waist deep in the water, acting as if he were simply admiring the ocean, before sighing in relief. He let out more liquid than he meant to when he spotted a gray triangular fin cutting through the water for him. He shrieked, darting up the beach.

Izzy popped out of the water, a fake shark fin strapped to her head. "Wait, you crazy redhead, it was just me! Mm." She smacked her lips together. "Why does the water taste so much saltier here?"

* * *

Confession Cam

**Heather **And another thing about Alejandro. (Scott opens the door, practically throws her out, and turns to the camera.)

**Scott** Okay, here's the deal. After that filthy mutant ATE HALF OF MY BODY, I've been having some pretty vivid nightmares of it happening again. It's made me _terrified_ of sharks, even more so than a normal person. The nightmares have mostly passed by, but still… (He shudders.)

* * *

Leshawna and Harold walked over to the buffet table, hot and sweaty from volleyball. "Man, you weren't lyin' when you said you had mad volleyball skills. You really owned that game!" Leshawna was surprised when Harold didn't answer at first; the lanky kid usually enthusiastically accepted any compliment given by her. "Harold, babe? You okay?"

Harold looked up, having been lost in his thoughts. "Wha? Oh, yeah, thanks Leshawna. But nowhere near as good as you."

Leshawna smirked and rolled her eyes, and turned to Nathaniel. "Could you pour me a glass of that punch, sugar?"

"Sure, no problem!" As Nathaniel poured Leshawna a glass, Owen sidled over.

"Excuse me, but are there any more of those little chocolate cakes? They were really good!"

Nathaniel's mouth dropped open. "You ate all forty of those? I put those out two minutes ago."

Owen chuckled. "Yeah. They were good!" He belched, as if to drive the point home.

Leshawna laughed. "Sugar, you think that's bad, you obviously haven't seen the eating challenges on the show."

"Aw, man. I have to admit I haven't really seen much of Total Drama, but I've heard you have to do some nasty stuff."

"Kid, you don't know the half of it." She took a bite out of a pastry. "Mmm – now this is good! Nothing like the garbage they serve us on the show."

Nathaniel perked up. "You like it? That's actually my personal recipe!"

"Mm-mm, like it? I love it! You should try to be a chef or something, because this is fantastic!"

As they laughed, Harold looked downtrodden. His sadness was interrupted when a blur of orange shot over his head, and Izzy landed expertly on Owen's shoulders.

"Oh! Heh-hey, Izzy, what's going on?" Owen sounded both nervous and pleased.

"Not much, Big-O! Just checking how things are with my old boyfriend! Ah, those were some good times… Yep, I sure wish I had a boyfriend again… but, you know, not many people want to go out with me because they think I'm a psycho hose-beast. Or maybe that's because I always show boys my knife collection when I'm hitting on them so they know exactly what will happen if they leave me."

"That's not fly, yo," Ezekiel said, and frowned. "I really need to give up on slang, dawg."

"Not fly? You think Izzy can't fly? Oh, Izzy is so going to prove you wrong." Izzy leapt from Owen's shoulders and grabbed the top of one of the large resort umbrellas, tipping it over so that it nearly touched the ground.

Nathaniel blanched. "Is she –"

"Izzy, I wouldn't recommend that, girl," chided Leshawna.

"Watch and weep, doubter!" Izzy let the umbrella shoot back up, catapulting herself into the sky. Her maniacal laugh flew up with her.

"Shoot!" said Nathaniel. "I hope she survives that!"

Meanwhile, Katie and Sadie were walking past the confessional bathroom, talking their usual BFF talk ("Isn't Trent so hot?" "Oh, I know!" "And Justin, too?" "Oh, totally! He's, like, the hottest guy ever!"), when Scott strutted out, almost running into them. "Hey! Watch where you're going, twins!" He angrily sauntered away.

"Omigosh. That. Was so. Rude," said Sadie.

"He is kind of good-looking, though," said Katie, staring after Scott dreamily. "His hair goes so totally well with his tee."

"Um, hello, reality check? Didn't you watch last season? That guy was a jerk who got everyone kicked off!"

"Well maybe he just needs someone to be nice to him. And then he'll understand that he doesn't always have to be so mean."

"You mean like we're nice with each other?"

"Yeah, totally!"

"I love being nice to each other!" The two girls hugged and squealed. "I'm so glad we'll always be together!"

Katie turned back around. "So, should we stalk Trent or Justin next?"

Izzy suddenly fell from the sky and crashed into Sadie, sending them both flying around a corner. "Sadie?" Katie said, perplexed by not getting an answer. She realized Sadie wasn't in sight, and suddenly felt very, very alone on the beach resort filled with cameramen, teens, and employees. "Sadie, where are you!"

"I'm right here!" Sadie popped up from around a corner, clothes ruffled and twigs sticking out of her hair.

"Whoo, yeah, let's do that again!" Izzy cackled.

Katie and Sadie hugged each other, tearfully reuniting. "Oh, I thought you were gone forever!" Katie said.

"I'll never leave you!" said Sadie.

* * *

Confession Cam

**Harold **I love Leshawna. A lot. But my bodacious beauty has a whole life outside of the game that I'm not a part of. I know she's trying to be sweet to me, but I feel I'm not being fair holding her back. You saw her flirting with that employee! I dread breaking ties with Leshawna, but, you know what they say, it's better to have loved and lost than to not have loved at all! I think it's time to… to… break up with Leshawna! (He bursts into tears.)

**Leshawna** Harold is a total sweetheart. But he's got to face the facts. It's been a year since Total Drama ended. I have a life outside of the game. It's high time that I broke up with him. I just hope it doesn't break his heart.

* * *

Nathaniel flinched as a frisbee smacked him in the head. He rubbed his temple in angst.

"Ooh, sorry man," said Trent. "Can you toss it back?"

"Yeah, no problem." Nathaniel flung the frisbee back at the musician, who caught it with ease.

"Hey, you want to play a few rounds?"

Nathaniel glanced at the hotel. His manager was standing there, glaring at him through the glass. "Aw, that sounds awesome, but I can't right now. My boss would throttle me."

Another employee walked to the table, holding a tray piled high with mini chocolate cakes. "Did anyone order more of these cakes?" he said.

Owen snapped to attention. "FOOD!" he screamed, charging towards the man.

At the sight of a 300-plus pound teenager racing towards him, the employee stumbled backwards. He fell towards Trent's guitar, sitting unprotected on the sand.

"No!" Trent cried.

Lightning shot for the guitar, expertly grabbing it out of harm's way, and presented it to Trent. "Sha-boo-ya!"

"Thanks, man." Trent took the guitar, greatly relieved. "You have no idea how important this is to me."

"Owen, you have to be more careful," Sierra chided. Owen looked up guiltily at her. He was sitting on top of the unconscious employee and was splattered with chocolate.

* * *

Confession Cam

**Owen** Sometime I wonder if my, uh, extra girth isn't such a good thing. Sometimes people seem to get annoyed at my enthusiasm for eating and my involuntary release of, uh, bodily functions. (He farts, and chuckles.) I don't mean to bother anyone, I just like food! I wonder if I need to start laying off the snacks… (He scrutinizes his gut, and farts again.)

**Trent** (Walks into the bathroom, and gags as he smells Owen's stench. He attempts to crawl back to the door, but the odor overpowers him and he passes out.)

* * *

Duncan was sipping a drink at the poolside, watching Gwen surf with Bridgette, when a coconut smacked off of his head. "Ow! Okay, who's getting throttled?"

"See? I told you it would feel good to let it out," said Blaineley. She was laying in a pool chair several rows back, next to Courtney, who was heaving and snarling.

"I'm surprised you even felt that, with such a thick skull!" Courtney snapped.

"What? Still?" Duncan began making his way over to them. "You're still trying to get me back? How long are you going to hold this grudge?"

"You made my life miserable on this show!" Courtney snarled, looking at Duncan with such a rage that she resembled a rabid animal. "You made me look like an embarrassment on national TV!"

"I didn't do any of that, princess. You were embarrassing yourself long before I stepped in."

Courtney growled, shaking and twitching in indignation. "Go ahead, sister, let him have it. It's what he deserves, isn't it?" Blaineley said calmly.

"Come on, she's bad enough without you egging her on!" Duncan ducked as another coconut sailed over his head.

"I will destroy you!"

"Oh, so you want it like that, huh, princess? Well then, bring it!" Duncan darted over to the buffet table, startling both Owen and Nathaniel, and began chucking all the food he could grab at Courtney.

"Dude, please, no, I have to clean all that up!" Nathaniel pleaded.

"Oh boy, another food fight!" Owen cheered.

Courtney screamed as potato salad splattered over her front, and lifted a pool chair above her head. Duncan's eyes went wide as he saw said chair hurtling towards him.

* * *

Bridgette cheered as Anne Maria, Dawn, B, and Gwen caught the small swell, managing to stand on their boards for the ride. "Great job, guys! You're doing it!"

"Oh, yeah. Nothing to it," Anne Maria boasted. B struggled for balance on his board, and the larger teen fell into the water, creating a small wave that capsized the others.

"Hey, nice job!" said Bridgette, as their heads popped out of the surf. "You managed to ride your first wave! Isn't that the greatest feeling?"

"That actually was pretty fun," said Gwen.

"Bridgey, you're the greatest surf teacher ever!" Geoff paddled his board over to hers, and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Yes, Bridgette, thank you so much for teaching me how to surf," Dawn said. "Now I have a whole new way to connect with nature and God's creatures, through the noble art of surfing."

Bridgette giggled. "No problem, Dawn. I'm happy you're happy."

"You're very skilled in surfing. You were surfing before you could walk, correct?"

Bridgette looked taken aback for a second, but then resumed her smile. "Yes. I see you read my biography on the website?"

"Not really. I can make out the details of people's childhoods through their auras. And your aura is of the brightest blue!"

Bridgette gaped, and she and Geoff exchanged nervous glances. "Um, thanks."

Gwen blanched. "Um, guys? Looks like there's trouble on shore." The others looked up, and saw pool chairs and lampposts flying.

"Oh, no," said Bridgette, as she heard Courtney's angry wail.

* * *

Courtney somehow managed to wrench a lamppost out of the ground, and went charging after Duncan with it. The delinquent hollered and weaved around the buffet table, pelting her with food as he tried to dodge her attacks. A pizza splattered onto Dakota's face, and she leapt to her feet and roared angrily.

"No! Dakota, wait!" Sam groaned as she charged into the fray. "Oh, not again."

Duncan, Courtney, Nathaniel, and the rest of the staff and contestants darted out of the way as Dakota headed for them. The mutant lifted the buffet table into the air and snapped it in two.

"No!" Owen cried.

Distracted by the girl's rampage, Duncan momentarily forgot about Courtney until he saw a lamppost swinging for him, and then everything blacked out.

CLANG!

"Yes!" Courtney cheered. She raised the lamppost again, but Bridgette and Eva grabbed her arms and pulled her back. DJ and Geoff carried Duncan out of her range.

"Courtney! You have to calm down!" said Bridgette.

"Seriously. And people say I have anger issues," growled Eva.

"I don't have anger issues! That punk deserved it!" Courtney looked around, and realized that everyone was staring at her. Sam had managed to calm Dakota down and was helping clean her off, but they were the only exceptions. Angrily, Courtney shook off the other two and stormed away. As the others quickly pretended not to have noticed, Bridgette ran after her.

"Courtney, please! I know break-ups can be hard –"

"Don't talk to me!" Courtney pushed her away.

* * *

Confession Cam

**Bridgette **I know that Courtney may not be the nicest girl, but I know that there's a good person inside of her. But, though she may not be acting the part, she's still my friend, and I watch out for my friends. I think Duncan cheating on her with Gwen really drove her over the edge with anything related to this show. (She sighs). Gwen's my good friend, but she's really messed up Courtney. I think I need to talk – (Behind Bridgette, Sam enters the bathroom and walks to a urinal. The sounds of a fly unzipping and a steady stream of liquid is heard. Bridgette cuts off mid-sentence, her wide eyes staring at the camera clearly confirming that she realizes what is going on. Slowly, reluctantly, she turns to glance behind her, and then scrunches her eyes shut and cries out in disgust.) Ugh! Sam! I'm in here right now!

**Sam** What? This is the boy's bathroom, huh huh huh.

* * *

As the crowd broke up, Bridgette watched as Gwen tried to revive Duncan, who was laying in a pool chair.

"Hatred is such an unfortunate feature of human beings, is it not?" Dawn was standing beside her. "If only we could be more like our animal friends, who know no evil and only have conflict because they wish to stay alive. The world would be a much better place."

"Uh, yes, Dawn," said Bridgette, not really paying attention. "I like hanging out with you, but I kind of need –"

"I understand. You would like me to leave so that you may speak with your friend Gwen in private. You are upset with her because you feel that her careless affair with Duncan caused great pain to your friend Courtney, and would like Gwen to make amends so that Courtney doesn't feel so miserable associating herself with this show."

Bridgette gaped at the short girl. "How did you…"

"I can see auras, remember? Your kind and leading soul reads like an open book. But yes, I will grant your request and leave you for the time being. It is in my wishes that this dispute is solved!" Dawn walked away, leaving Bridgette staring incredulously after her. The surfer let out a shiver, but stood up straight and walked over to Gwen.

"Gwen?"

"Yeah, Bridgette?"

"I need to talk to you about something."

"Sure. Shoot."

Bridgette opened her mouth, but was interrupted when a loudspeaker crackled and she heard the voice of her least favorite man.

"Attention all ex-contestants of Total Drama," Chris said over the P.A. "Please immediately report to the beach front. We have something special planned for you." He released a burst of that maniacal laughter they all hated so, and the loudspeaker crackled off.

"Guess we'll have to wait until later," shrugged Gwen. "Let's go get this over with."

* * *

The thirty-seven contestants had gathered onto the large sandy beach, in the center of a large red circle painted on the sand. Chris stood before them, his usual smile in place. "Campers," he said. "I've gathered you here –"

"We're not your campers anymore," called Noah.

"Yeah, your stupid game is over," said Lindsay.

"Contestants," Chris said. "I've gathered –"

"We're not contestants anymore, either," said Zoey.

"Ex-contestants," Chris said. "I've gathered you here to make one last tribute to all the times you've shared with one another." He frowned. "Aren't we missing somebody? Blaineley!"

Blaineley was still tanning by the poolside. "I told you I wasn't going to play any of your little games," she called.

"Fine. Don't participate. Be a spoil-sport." Chris quickly resumed his smile. "Now, ex-contestants, you've all been through a lot together. And the simple truth is, life goes on. Many of you have already started college. So, as a tribute to all that you have been through, and to your loyal viewers, we have prepared for you one last challenge. Of course, there will be prizes involved."

Most of the contestants had their arms crossed, and were glaring at Chris. They weren't thrilled, but they were listening.

"Great! Our challenge is going to be a bit of a scavenger hunt. Around the resort, our unpaid interns have hidden twenty-five clams."

"Clams?" Anne Maria raised an eyebrow.

"Why, yes. To go along with our ocean-themed vacation, we felt it was appropriate to have an ocean-themed challenge." Chris pulled a head-sized clam out from behind his back. "And just as clams can have priceless pearls hidden within them, these ones contain great prizes, with one holding a major prize. It's kind of like an Easter egg hunt, but with clams!

"You may have noticed that you are in a large circle painted on the beach. This is the safe zone. Once you get into the safe zone with a clam, you are safe and the prize inside is yours. But if you're outside of the safe zone, anyone can steal your clam. It's fair game."

"Ooh, stealing. Now this is a game that I could get into," Duncan cackled. He was now sporting a large bump on his forehead that was Courtney's wrath.

"Now twenty-four of the clams hold minor prizes, while one lucky one has a major prize," continued Chris. "The winner of the major prize will not find out that they got it until after the challenge is over. Any questions?"

Staci raised her hand. "Yeah, what are the prizes, exactly?"

"You won't find that out until after the game," he chortled.

* * *

Confession Cam

**Noah **Twenty-five clams with prizes whose identity we don't get to find out until the end? Please. It's obvious that it's a ploy to get a new season. The twenty-five winners will get the privilege to be on another season of Total Drama. We know all your tricks, Chris.

**Leshawna** Is that man trying to play us for fools? Of course he was going to have a challenge to make a new season! What on earth would he expect us to think the prize is?

**Mike** I'd be willing to bet that the prize is a ticket to star in a new season. There's twenty-five spots – enough for a good-sized cast – and he's not telling us the prize exactly because he knows we'd revolt against going back on that twisted show. Does he really think he's tricking us? Even the thickest of skulls could figure that one out.

**Lindsay** Is this prize not actually a prize, but a chance to be put back on the show? I don't know about that. That show wasn't very nice.

**Noah** Oh, I'll do the challenge. There's always the off chance that the prize is actually worth winning. But if I'm right, and the prize is a spot on a Total Drama season… I'm not doing it.

**Leshawna** I'm not doing it.

**Mike** I'm not going to suffer through another season.

**Lindsay** If they try to put me back on Total Drama, I don't think that I'm going to do it.

* * *

"All right. Are you all ready?" Chris cheerfully surveyed the unenthusiastic-looking competitors. "Then… Go!"


	3. Total Drama, Drama, Drama, Drama Reunion

What's up, guys? First off, I want to thank everyone for reading! Also, I'd like to thank everyone who has reviewed and / or favorited this fanfic, including **sierraandcody625**, **MyHusbandToBeHisNameIsCody, The Cheesebub**, **xebla**, **henryleland**, **blacklightning98**, and anyone else that I might have missed while typing this author's note!

I'd like to warn everyone reading it that, after these first few chapters, my updates may be few and far between, due to me being in college, working on an actual novel I wish to publish (as well as the occasional side project), and I may be starting a job soon. However, I will try to add new updates and chapters whenever I can.

Oh yeah, and I should probably add this in somewhere: I do not own Total Drama! I'm just a fan extremely grateful for the privilege to write fan fiction.

Anywho, I'm sure none of you want to hear me blabber, so here's what you probably came for!

* * *

**Episode 00, Part 3:**

**Total Drama, Drama, Drama, Drama Reunion**

The teens sort of shuffled off, instead of running out of the safe zone with a bang. Well, with the exception of one.

"Woo-hoo! I'm gonna win me a prize, baby!" Owen sprinted off enthusiastically, until he had run a long distance (for him, about ten feet) and crashed onto the ground. "Augh… need… carbohydrates."

Cameron, Mike, and Zoey high-fived each other. "Yeah! Awesome team, guys!" said Mike.

"Hello, former teammates," said Brick, walking up and saluting them. "Mind if I join you?"

"Sure!" said Cameron.

"The more the merrier," said Zoey.

DJ, Geoff, and Trent joined in one group, along with Bridgette, Gwen, and Leshawna. "Yeah! We're so going to rock this, dudes!" Geoff let out an enthusiastic whoop.

"And it's been way too long since I've had some quality time with you two," said Gwen to her girlfriends.

"Same to you, girl!" said Leshawna. "Come here, give a sister some sugar." The three embraced, but Leshawna glanced over her shoulder and saw Harold, standing alone. She felt her heart sink, and pulled out of the hug. "Sorry, Gwen and Bridge. I have something I have to do."

"Oh, no. That tone of voice. You're going to break up with him, aren't you?" Gwen stared at her friend with concern.

"Yeah. I think it's that time." Leshawna sighed.

"Just be gentle with him," said Bridgette.

"I'll try my hardest. Wish me luck, girls." Leshawna walked away from her two friends. "Hey, Harold. Will you walk with me?"

"Anything you say, my fair Leshawna," said Harold, following her.

Duncan walked over to the group, and Gwen smirked at him. "Come to cause trouble, huh?"

"Nah, actually, looked like you and soul surfer here wanted to have some girl chat," he replied. "Thought I'd leave you to your business and go solo. You just don't try anything with my girl, okay?" Duncan pointed to Trent, who rolled his eyes, and Gwen turned red.

"You just always have to make life harder, don't you?" she said, jokingly pushing him away. "Go on, get out of here."

"K', good luck, man!" Geoff said.

Bridgette spotted Courtney walking into the resort, and called out to her. "Courtney! Want to join our group?"

Gwen quickly crossed her fingers and pleaded silently to the powers that be.

Courtney saw them and scoffed. "No way. The last thing I need is a team to slow me down. If there's one thing that I've learned from this show, it's that if you want something done, you do it yourself!"

Bridgette looked downcast, and Gwen let out a quick sigh of relief.

"Woo-hoo! This is gonna be the best team ever!" Owen had Noah's head under his arm, unwittingly squeezing the life out of him. He saw Cody and Sierra walk up. "Hey, you guys want to be on our team, too?"

"Sounds great to me!" said Cody.

"And where Cody is, I'm golden," said Sierra.

"Lindsay!" called Tyler, and the two rushed at each other and kissed. After pulling out, Lindsay put her arms around Tyler and Beth. "My two favorite people ever on my team! Yay, nothing could make this day any better!"

"So that means it can only get worse!" Izzy popped up behind the three, scaring the lunch out of them. "But don't worry, Izzy is here to make sure things stay exciting for you all!"

"But your definition of 'exciting' isn't always fun for the rest of us," said Beth nervously.

"Oh, don't worry. At the worst, the explosives will only cause a few fatalities." Izzy cackled maniacally. "Boom boom!"

"You know, my great-great-great-great-great grandfather invented explosives." Staci walked up. "Before then, people could only get their desire for large fiery explosions by watching nearby volcanoes erupt, but that kind of made them die a lot."

Izzy's eyes opened wide. "Your grandfather invented explosives?"

"Actually, it was my great-great-"

"She's in! She's in our group!" Izzy proclaimed.

"Oh. Are we all in a group now?" Beth looked nervous.

"I guess so." Tyler suddenly grinned, trying to remain optimistic. "But the more the merrier, right? Hey! Lightning! Want to join our group?"

"Me?" Lightning looked perplexed at the invitation. "No way. Lightning's goin' solo! Sha-victory!" Lightning ran off.

"Oh… Uh, okay." Tyler looked at Beth and shrugged.

Justin walked down the beach, with a pack of love-stricken fan girls in his wake: Sadie, Katie, Eva, and Anne Maria. "It's like being led on by an angel," said Sadie.

"You're telling me," said Anne Maria.

As the other teens dispersed, Dawn and B met up with each other. "Hello, B. Would you like to search for the clams with me?" B nodded, and placed the dainty girl on his shoulder, and she giggled as they headed off.

The remaining players found themselves in a group: Heather, Alejandro, Scott, Jo, and Ezekiel, all full of scowls and glares (except for Ezekiel, who looked like he felt out of place, and Alejandro, who couldn't really scowl or glare). Heather looked at all the non-robotic contestants. "Um, why are you all here? I don't remember asking to be in a group with a bunch of losers."

"Speak for yourself, sister," said Scott.

"Turns out when you're a jerk to everyone, not many people want to hang out with you," mused Jo.

"I'm not really mean to people, eh," said Ezekiel nervously. "I guess it's just kind of hard to make friends when you're stowed away in cargo holds and nuclear mines. I miss my giant mole rats, eh."

Jo looked him over. "Eh, you look monstrous enough, I guess you can hang with us."

"Really? Yes! This is great!"

"Yeah, better you than…" Jo's voice trailed off as the ground shook, and a shadow blocked out the sun. Dakota grinned down toothily at them.

"Hey, guys," Sam said, held under her arm. He appeared nervous at confronting such a large number of antagonistic peers. "Dakota here's wondering if we can join your group."

"Dakota want make new friends!"

Heather looked ready to object, but Scott leaned in close to her. "DO-NOT-SAY-NO-IF-YOU-VALUE-YOUR-LIFE," he hissed.

Heather smiled widely. "Of course! You're both welcome here."

"Yeah! New friends!" Dakota clapped cheerfully.

Lindsay, Tyler, Beth, and Izzy were already tiring of Staci's tall tales. "Yeah, my great-great-great-great uncle invented beach resorts. Before that, the closest hotels to the beach were two hours away. Yeah, and my great-great-great-great-great grandfather invented boats, before that people had to ride on whales to get across the sea. Yeah, and my great-great-great aunt twice removed invented clams. Before that, shellfish lived only in people's imaginations."

"How much longer until we find these clams?" asked Lindsay, exasperated.

"Chris probably hid them in the hardest, most terribly evil places he could think of," said Tyler, leaning against a palm tree. "I'd bet they're going to be near impossible to find." He punched the tree in frustration. The branches rustled, and a clam fell out, hit him on the head, and bounced into Staci's arms.

"I got a clam! I got a clam!" Before anyone had realized what had happened, Staci had run into the safe zone. "I did it! Oh yeah!"

"And Staci is the first to get a clam!" Chris announced. All of the other contestants stared at her, exasperated. Staci attempted to pull open the clam, but Chris snatched it from her. "Sorry. You don't get to find out what the prize is until after all the clams have been found. Wouldn't be surprising otherwise, now would it?"

"My great-great grandfather invent-" Staci was cut off when Chris shoved the clam in her mouth.

* * *

Confession Cam

**Eva** All right. It's on now!

* * *

"All right, guys. We can do this!" Owen cheered, looking over his group. "We're all gonna get these clams! And it'll be awesome!"

"Yeah!" said Cody. He looked around. "But do you see any nearby?"

"Staci got hers when Tyler hit a tree. So all we've got to do is hit all the kajillions of palm trees around here until one falls out!" Owen punched the nearest palm tree, and grasped his throbbing hand and screamed.

"Yeah," said Noah. "Tell me how that works out for you."

Owen punched a second tree, screamed, punched a third tree, screamed, and collapsed.

"If my knowledge of Chris is correct, he's probably had them hidden in areas that reflect the contestants' worst possible fears," said Sierra. "Cody, your worst fear is defusing a time bomb under pressure, right?"

"Uh, yeah, but I don't think there would be any time bombs in –"

"And my worst fear is losing you!" she said, cutting him off with a crushing hug.

"And my worst fear is hanging out with a bunch of lunatics," said Noah. "But I'm already facing that, aren't I?"

"So we've got to find a time bomb," said Sierra. "And I know just where to look. Follow me!"

* * *

"So if I were Chris," muttered Scott, "where would I hide something?"

"Don't try to think like him too much," said Jo. "You may never escape that terrible whirlwind of pure murderous lunacy."

"That was deep, eh," said Ezekiel.

"Thanks."

"Hey, will you guys do me a favor and grab me one, too?" chuckled Sam. He was still held under Dakota's arm, nose buried in a DS. "You know, when you get the chance."

* * *

Confession Cam

**Heather **These losers think we're all in some kind of alliance. It's kind of cute, really. But just wait. The moment someone gets one of those clams – bam! I'll swoop in and take it for myself. (She laughs.) I can play these dweebs like a violin. (Nathaniel walks into the bathroom with a mop and bucket, but freezes when he spots Heather.)Um, hello? I'm kind of in here right now.

**Nathaniel** But… I'm supposed to clean in here! And… this is a boy's bathroom!

**Heather** Well I'm using it right now. So, toodle-loo.

**Nathaniel** But… But this is a boy's bathroom!

* * *

A bright bird of paradise landed in a palm tree, loosening a clam in its branches that fell into Ezekiel's arms. "Ha ha! Yes!"

Before he could blink, Scott, Alejandro, Heather, and Jo all turned on him wrestling him for the mollusc, as Dakota and Sam watched in surprise. In the scuffle, the clam flew over their heads and landed in Cameron's hands, across the resort. He stared at it.

"Wow, Cameron!" said Mike. "Winning just comes naturally to you, doesn't it?"

"I guess so," Cameron laughed. "Here. One of you can have it."

"No can do, soldier," said Brick, pushing him forward. "You won fair and square. Now get into that safe zone, before any other contestants try to steal it." Indeed, several of the other players were eyeing Cameron as if they were considering taking him on.

Heeding his friends' advice, Cameron dashed into the safe zone.

* * *

Confession Cam

**Heather** Okay. How was I to tell that everyone else was planning the same thing? They all stole my idea!

**Scott** Darn it, I thought my plan was foolproof.

**Jo** Well, that was kind of a bust.

* * *

Justin closed his eyes and covered his ears at the incessant chattering of the girls behind him.

"Ah, just look at his butt. Isn't it so perfect?"

"I know, right? It's like the most perfect butt!"

"Look at how round it is."

"I know, those cheeks are, like, the perfect shape!"

Justin didn't think he could stand one more word about his butt cheeks. He turned around to face Katie and Sadie, who were being flanked by Anne Maria and Eva. "Listen, girls. See that high dive over the pool? I think there may be a clam on top. But, unfortunately, I just had my palms done and can't risk mutilating them by climbing the rungs. Could you two get it for me?"

"Sure, Justin!" squealed Sadie.

"Of course, Justin," said Katie.

"Hey! I'm totally capable of climbing a ladder, too," countered Anne Maria.

"Yeah, way better than Tweedle-dee and Tweedle-dum here!" said Eva.

"Ladies, ladies," soothed Justin. "I know that you're both very capable. But I've already asked Katie and Sadie to do this for me. But I promise, I'll give my next tasks to you." He stroked Eva's chin with a finger, causing her and Anne Maria to faint. He turned to Sadie and Katie. "Girls, you're up!"

Giggling, the BFFS ran to the ladder of the high dive and began climbing enthusiastically. "Isn't Justin so chivalrous, letting us do all his work for him?" asked Sadie, who was highest.

"I know. Even choosing us over the other two girls –"

"He must think we're really special!"

"Yeah, I know! Ooh, I can't wait until he asks me out. You can totally be the bridesmaid at our wedding, Sadie!"

"Your wedding? Uh, it's obvious that Justin wants me."

"But Sadie, I though we decided that you would get with Trent and I would get with Justin."

Oh, yeah. Guess I forgot. Tee hee!" Sadie reached the top of the high dive, and suddenly realized how high she was. "Ohh… I don't feel so good up here…"

"C'mon, Sadie, you can do it!" Pushed by Katie's support, Sadie carefully climbed onto the diving board, with her best friend right behind her. The two girls tried to balance, biting their lips and shivering in fear. "Don't look down!" Katie cried.

"Do you see a clam anywhere?"

"No, I don't!" The diving board was empty.

"Justin!" Sadie called to the ground. "We don't see a clam up here!" Silence. They risked a terrified glance over the edge. Justin, Eva, and Anne Maria were gone.

"Where'd he go?" asked Katie.

"Justin wouldn't leave us. Would he?"

"Of course not. They're probably just getting a trampoline or something to rescue us. We'll be fine up here, Sadie!" A small breeze rustled their hair, and they grabbed each other in fear.

"Don't let go of me, Katie!"

"As long as you don't let go of me!"

* * *

"All right, guys! We got the hotel, whoo!"

"Sounds good," said Trent, following Geoff into the hotel's lobby. "While most people will be looking outside on the beach, we'll get a head start looking in here."

"Let's rock this, guys," said DJ.

* * *

B and Dawn walked down the beach, with Dawn sitting on B's shoulder. "And then the goat was returned to its mama, and they lived happily ever after. Well, until that wolf pack attacked them. But even so, I felt honored to be a part of that glorious reunion! That was definitely my highlight of the time since last season. Anyway, what's been going on in your life since the competition ended?" B opened his mouth, but Dawn cut him off. "Wait! Oh oh oh, hold that thought for a second! First I have to tell you this amazing story of the time I found an injured doe in the forest and nursed her back to health! Oh course, she got eaten by a bear, but still!"

* * *

"And that's how I developed my fear of ninjas," said Harold proudly.

"That's great, Harold," said Leshawna. They were outside of the hotel, walking along the tiled path of beach chairs and umbrellas. "Hey, listen, Harold. There's something I've got to talk to you about."

"Hush, my sweet Leshawna," he said, placing a finger on her lips. "I confess, I have something to tell you also. But first, please allow me to ensure that you get a prize, as a beautiful woman like you so rightly deserves."

Leshawna sighed.

* * *

Confession Cam

**Leshawna** Oh, breaking up with this boy is going to be harder than I thought.

**Harold** (He looks upset for a moment, and then breaks down in tears). Oh, Leshawna! Why? Why must this happen? (He tries to regain composure). But I must free you from the burden of our relationship. I must be strong for you! (He sniffs, and cries again).

* * *

Jo surveyed her group. "All right, men. We've got a problem here. We obviously don't want to share with each other. But we've got to work together if we want to all win this game. So, I say we form an alliance."

Scott raised an eyebrow. "And just how do you plan to do that?"

"If we all attack one another whenever one of us gets a clam, none of us are going to get anything. So let's make an agreement that the clam belongs to whoever grabs it first. No stealing, and no conflicts. Sound good?"

The others exchanged glances. "Eh," said Scott.

"Why not," said Heather. She, Jo, Scott, Alejandro, Sam, Ezekiel, and Dakota put their hands in the middle of the group in agreement.

* * *

Confession Cam

**Ezekiel** I'm so glad our group is getting along, eh!

**Jo **The alliance? It's a ploy to lull them into a false sense of security. Then, the moment someone gets a clam, I'll snag it for myself. Yeah. I know I'm good.

**Heather** Of course I'll agree to be in the alliance. That way, they'll think I'm on their side, when I'm really planning on nabbing the first clam they get. They won't suspect a thing. It's child's play, really.

**Scott** As if I'm actually going to be in this cute little alliance. I'm playing these dorks. What they don't know is that I'm only pretending to be in the alliance, and that I'll steal the clam the moment they find one! Ha! I am such a genius.

* * *

As the group moved down the beach, Alejandro was distracted by a small bush on the edge of the resort. He reached in and pulled out a clam – and Jo, Scott, and Heather leapt on him! In the fray, the clam was sent sailing into the air.

* * *

Confession Cam

**Sam** Man, my group's really got some issues.

**Heather** For the record, I was not trying to steal the clam from Alejandro. I was only trying to stop Jo and Scott from taking it. If I have an alliance with anyone here, it's him.

* * *

The clam landed on the edge of the diving board, feet from where Katie and Sadie were shivering. Sadie gasped. "Look, Katie! A clam!"

"Hooray, we can give it to Justin! Quick, go get it."

"What? Why not you?"

"Because you're closer."

"But it's on the very edge of the board! I'll totally fall!"

"Okay, Sadie, let's both go. We can do this. For Justin!"

"For Justin," Sadie moaned. They inched their way to the clam. With every step, it seemed to get further away. They tried desperately not to look down, at the rippling pool below.

"Come on," Sadie murmured. "Almost there… Almost there… Yes!" She scooped up the clam, and began jumping for joy. "I did it! I did it – Woah!"

"Sadie, stop!" yelled Katie, but Sadie slipped off the edge. Katie tried to grab her, and fell off as well.

* * *

"It was so smart of you to get rid of those twins, Justin," said Eva.

"Yeah!" drooled Anna Maria. "You're smart. And handsome!"

"Ladies, ladies," said Justin, flexing as he said this. "No need to point out my glaringly obvious beauty. Now, shall we continue the search to find me a clam?"

"Where should we go next, hunk-a-licious?" said Anne Maria.

"Anywhere, as long as those two annoying BFFs aren't there. What were their names again? Kira and Sally?"

"Hi, Justin," said two voices from behind him. Justin grimaced, and turned around to find Sadie and Katie, sopping wet. Sadie held out her clam. "We got a clam for you, Justin."

Justin's grimace was replaced with a handsome grin. "Why, thank you, ladies," he replied, accepting the offering. "Now, all four of you, protect me so that I can reach the safe zone."

"Of course, Justin," said the four immediately.

* * *

Lightning reached the top of the waterslide, and found a clam at the top of the ladder. "Too easy!" He surveyed the resort, and saw the red circle on the beach, Staci and Cameron in the middle. "Now all I've got to do is get to the safe zone. Sha-Lightning!" He rode down the slide and into the pool with a cry of "Woo-hoo!"

* * *

"So you haven't had any trouble with your multiple personalities at all since the island?" Brick asked. He, Zoey, and Mike were at the ocean, walking down a dock.

"Nope! None at all!" Mikey swelled proudly. "They haven't shown any of their ugly mugs since I put the beat-down on them."

"Which is great, because I love just Mike." Zoey wrapped her arms around him. Mike grinned and returned the hug, when Zoey perked up and pointed to the end of the dock. "Guys! Look! A clam!"

"Don't worry, Zo, I've got this!" Mike raced for the clam and bent down to grab it, but another hand placed itself on top of the bivalve at the same time. Mike and Harold stood up and stared at each other.

"Excuse me, but gosh! I'm trying to get this clam for my fair Leshawna!" Harold said, pointing at the girl. Leshawna pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Yeah, well, I'm trying to get this for my girl, too," said Mike. "And we were here first."

"No way! We totally were!"

"Comrades, please," said Brick, stepping in between them. "There's no need for conflict. We can solve this by another method."

"Like what?" asked Harold.

There was silence for a few moments. Brick reached into his pocket. "Well, I've got a deck of cards."

* * *

The five sat as Mike and Harold engaged in the most intense game of go fish ever seen on reality television. Harold was down to his last card, and was sweating profusely.

"Got any threes?" asked Mike.

Harold bit his lip, and sighed in defeat. He handed Mike the card.

"Yes! I win!" cheered Mike.

"Gosh. Life's so unfair," muttered Harold.

"So the clam's mine!" said Mike. "And it only took a grueling half hour card game to figure that out!"

"Hey, guys, I found a clam!" Lindsay raced into the circle and grabbed the clam, apparently not noticing the others. "Hooray! I win!" Tyler and Beth cheered her on as she ran back to them. The five stared.

"Gosh," said Harold.

"Hey, guys! I found some more!" Brick lifted three clams from a docked motorboat. He kept one for himself, tossed one to Zoey, and one to Mike.

"Nice!" said Mike.

"Sweet!" said Zoey. "Now quick! Let's get into the safe zone!" The three raced down the dock, leaving Harold and Leshawna behind. "Nice playing with you guys!"

"Hey! Wait!" Harold sighed.

* * *

Geoff, Trent, and DJ searched through the hotel's lobby, peering under couches and looking in potted plants. Bridgette, meanwhile, was trying to have a chat with Gwen. She walked over to the goth girl, who was peering under the receptionist's desk.

"Hey, Gwen," she said. "Mind if I talk to you now?"

Gwen stood. "Yeah. Go ahead."

"Well…" Bridgette grabbed at her arm nervously, wondering the best way to broach Gwen on the tender topic of Courtney and the love triangle. "You're my friend. You know that, right?" Gwen nodded. "And I know you're a good person. But sometimes even good people can mess up without meaning to do anything bad. And love can be a powerful thing, but messing with relationships can also hurt people you didn't intend to…"

"What are you saying?" Gwen asked, placing her hands on her hips.

Meanwhile, the three guys weren't having much luck. "Man, dudes," said DJ. "I can't find anything here."

"What if we ask someone?" Geoff said. He spotted Nathaniel at the other end of the hall, mopping the marble floors. "Hey! There's that guy!" Geoff rushed over to the employee. "Hey! You haven't seen any clams in here, have you, bro?"

"Clams, clams." Nathaniel tapped his chin. "I think I saw some people who looked like interns stuff one under the couch cushions."

"Awesome! Thanks, man!"

Bridgette was stammering in front of Gwen ("And… I know you and Courtney may not get along extremely well…") when Geoff let out a cheer of "Woo-hoo!" He lifted a clam out of the couch cushions. "Yeah! Score one for the Geoff man!"

"Nice, dude!" said Trent. "You should probably get that into the safe zone."

"No way, man." Geoff rushed over to Gwen and Bridgette and put his arms around them. "We're a team. And I am not leaving until all of us have got a prize!"

"Aw, you're so sweet," said Bridgette. Before the others could blink, she and Geoff had their lips together, making out passionately.

"And now we won't be hearing from them for another half hour," said Gwen.

"You've got to give him props for loyalty, at least," said DJ.

* * *

"That's three clams in the safe zone," Chris' voice said over the loudspeaker. "Twenty-two are still in play. Let's hurry this up, people!"

Tyler stood outside of the safe zone, along with Beth and Izzy, as he talked with Lindsay. "I'm sorry you don't have a clam yet, Tyler," Lindsay said sadly.

"Don't worry, babe," said Tyler. "We'll all get one! No one can defeat Tyler's group! Right, guys?" He looked to Beth and Izzy for support.

"Yeah! No one can defeat us!" said Beth.

Izzy cracked up. "Yeah. Have you seen your group? No way can you win anything!"

Tyler frowned at Izzy as she rolled about on the ground in laughter. "Izzy, you're on my team."

"Hey! Hey, look! Clams!" Izzy pointed excitedly.

Mike, Zoey, and Brick were sprinting across the beach, heading for the safe zone. "Look! There it is!" said Zoey.

"We made it!" said Brick.

Suddenly, Lightning darted out of the resort area, also streaking for the safe zone. "Yes! Sha-Lightning's heading for the wi – Woah!"

He tried to stop, but collided into Zoey, who was at the back of the group. Their two clams went flying.

Brick and Mike reached the safe zone, and realized what had happened. "Zoey! Hurry!" called Mike.

Zoey and Lightning stared as their two clams flipped through the air. They sailed high over the heads of everyone, and –

Izzy streaked through the air, grabbing both of them, and landing neatly in the safe zone. "Yeah! Izzy rules!" She did a little jig.

"Hey! You!" Lightning leapt to his feet. "Give me that clam!"

Izzy stared at the extra clam in her grip, and smiled evilly. "Oh, you want this clam, do you? Well then go get it!"

"No! Wait!" Zoey cried, but Izzy had already chucked the clam across the resort.

"No!" Lightning wailed, dashing after it.

"Aw." Zoey hung her head. "That one was mine."

"Oops," said Izzy. "Sorry, redhead kid. If I had known you wanted it, I wouldn't have thrown it."

"No big deal," said Zoey. "There are plenty others."

"Yeah, and I'll help you search!" Mike tried to strut out of the safe zone, but Chris seemingly appeared out of nowhere to push him back.

"Nuh-uh! Once you've gotten your clam into the safe zone, you can't help anyone else!"

"Aw, seriously?" said Mike.

"Come on, man, that's a lame rule," said Tyler.

"Not a problem, guys. See you in a bit!" Zoey waved at them, walking away.

* * *

The clam Izzy had thrown sailed over the beach umbrellas and water slides, finally landing in front of Dakota, Sam, Heather, Scott, Jo, Alejandro, and Ezekiel. "Hey look, guys! A clam!" said Ezekiel. There was a large whirlwind of fists and insults, and the clam was airborne again.

Harold was surprised when a clam fell from the sky and into his arms, and after a moment of confused blinking, presented it to Leshawna. "For you, my beauty!" Before Leshawna could take the present, Lightning collided into Harold, yelling "My clam!" and sent both the mollusc and Harold flying into the air.

Duncan was stomping down the beach, chuckling to himself as he kicked over Sadie and Katie's sand castle, when a clam landed a few feet from him, perched on the end of a washed-up log. "Well, that was easier than expected," Duncan said, when Harold fell screaming onto him, plowing the punk into the other end of the log, and catapulting the clam across the beach.

Gwen was looking out the window of the hotel when she spotted something flying towards her. "Guys, look! A clam!"

"Really?" DJ looked out the window, only for the clam to clobber him in the face, and fall back out into the resort again, where it bounced off of a beach umbrella.

"Ready to go find some clams?" Tyler said to Beth, both of them still by the safe zone.

"Yeah!" said Beth, high-fiving him. The clam collided into Tyler's head, knocking him both into the safe zone and unconscious.

"And that's a clam for Tyler!" Chris announced. "And a trip to the emergency room. Medic!"

"Yay, Tyler!" Lindsay squealed. She then noticed that Beth was alone. "Oh no, Beth!"

"Don't worry about me," said Beth, walking up the beach. "I'll be back with a clam in no time!"

* * *

"This is insane," Noah moaned. "There's no way this is going to work." A spider web caught on his face, and he coughed and flailed. He, along with Cody and Owen, were being led by Sierra through the hotel's musty basement.

"Seriously, Sierra, I don't think anyone's been down here," said Cody. "And I don't think the hotel would allow Chris to set up a time bomb on their property."

"You actually think Chris would ask permission?" Noah mused.

"Here!" said Sierra. She brushed the dust off of a large door to reveal a sign titled **Boiler Room**. "Yes! In here, guys!" The purple-haired superfan busted through the door and came into a dank, musty room. The boiler sat in the middle.

Noah, Owen, and Cody followed her through. "It looks like an ordinary boiler to me," said Owen nervously.

Suddenly, the door swung shut behind them. Owen screamed, and frantically tried to yank it open. They were locked in.

A small television set that they had failed to notice flickered on in the corner of the room. "Hello, campers," Chris said, smiling fiendishly on the electronic screen. "I'd like to play a little game."

* * *

"You're doing great, ladies, almost there," said Justin, holding his clam. Katie, Sadie, Anne Maria, and Eva stood around him in a protective circle. "Just a little further and I'll be safe – huh?"

Duncan stepped in their path, smiling wickedly. "Well, what do you know. Looks like pretty boy got a prize for me. Care to hand it over?"

Justin blanched. "Ah! Ladies, protect me!"

"Leave Justin alone, you big bully!" said Sadie.

"Yeah, you fashion freak!" said Anne Maria. "Seriously, that eyebrow ring of yours is a fashion disaster."

"Speak for yourself, helmet hair," said Duncan. He cracked his knuckles. "All right then. But it's not my fault if anyone gets hurt." He laughed and cackled as he charged towards Justin. Katie and Sadie stepped in his way, but cowered as the punk shot past them.

"Oh, no. You do not insult the hair!" Anne Maria swung her fist, but Duncan laughed and dodged it. Justin screamed pathetically as Duncan swiped the clam from him.

"No, no! Somebody stop him!"

"Later, losers!" Duncan's laugh turned into a gasp of horror as Eva stomped in front of him. Before he could turn, the body-builder had grabbed him and hoisted him above her head.

"Wait, man! It was only a joke!" Eva threw Duncan, and there was a loud series of crashes as he tumbled into several umbrellas. The clam, meanwhile, went flipping through the air.

"I got it! I got it!" Katie caught the clam.

"Good job, Eva," said Justin, patting the girl's shoulder. "For your service, I'm going to elect you my head bodyguard. Now, get me into the safe zone."

Eva looked as if she were contemplating something. "Wait," she said finally. "Since we're all helping you get a clam, shouldn't you stick with us until we each have one?"

To her shock, Justin burst into laughter. "Yeah. Yeah, right," he managed to say. "Now, seriously, get me to the safe zone."

* * *

Confession Cam

**Eva **That's when it hit me: I was doing this all for a guy! And he didn't care a bit about what happened to me! If that two-timing little pretty-boy punk thinks that he can trick me… (In her rage, she rips the tap off of one of the sinks, and water spews out). Oops... I'm not gonna have to pay for that, am I?

* * *

Enraged, Eva lifted Justin above her head ("My face! Not the face!") and threw him after Duncan.

"Justin!" Anne Maria, Sadie, and Katie cried.

Eva whipped around to face them. "Where's the clam?"

Katie gulped, and hugged the clam closely to her chest. "This clam is for Justin!" she said defiantly.

"Give it to me!"

"No!" Katie cried. "I'm giving this to Justin!"

Eva roared and charged. The three others gasped. "Katie, run!" wailed Sadie. Katie complied, with her BFF following closely.

"You two get that clam to my Justin," said Anne Maria. "I'll hold her back."

Sadie and Katie wailed in fear as they saw Anne Maria flying over their heads.

* * *

Confession Cam

**Katie and Sadie**

** Katie **Okay, sometimes Eva goes way overboard!

**Sadie **Way overboard!

* * *

"That's three down, two to go!" called Geoff. "Come on, guys, we are gonna _own_ this game! Woo-hoo!" The party dude led his group through the halls of the hotel. He, DJ, and Trent had all managed to find clams, and now were searching for prizes for Gwen and Bridgette. As they searched, Bridgette tentatively slunk to the back of the group and fell in step with her goth friend.

"Okay, look," said the surfer girl. "I don't want to beat around the bush any longer. Gwen, I need to talk to you about Courtney."

"Courtney," said Gwen, stopping in her tracks.

"Yes, that's what I said."

"No, Courtney." Gwen pointed. Courtney was stumbling out of a maintenance closet, mumbling crossly to herself.

"Stupid game… No clams in this whole, stupid…"

"Hey, Courtney! What's going on, dude?" Geoff cried.

Courtney spotted them, and smacked her palm against her forehead. "Augh! Not you! Do I have to run into weird goth girl everywhere I go?"

"So what, are you taking a page out of Heather's book now?" Gwen growled.

"Guys, let's just chill out," said Geoff. "This is supposed to be a fun reunion to see all our friends, not to start fights and all that heavy stuff."

"Geoff's right," said Bridgette, leading Gwen over to Courtney. "Now come on, you two have held this grudge against each other for way too long. It's time to forget the past."

"Yeah, right. Forgive her? After what she did to me? As if." Courtney scoffed.

"Fine then!" snapped Gwen. "If she's going to treat me like dirt, then I'll do the same to her!"

"Gwen," Bridgette murmured, a trace of irritation in her voice. "You kissed her boyfriend on live TV. Cheating… can hurt people." She averted Geoff's eyes for a moment, but relaxed with he placed a hand on her shoulder and smiled.

"Gwen." The goth turned around, and to her surprise found Trent staring pleadingly into her eyes. "Please?"

Gwen blinked, her hard scowl fading. With new purpose, she turned to Courtney. "Courtney, I'm…"

"No, I don't want to hear any worthless blabber from some lame adulterous goth girl!" Courtney screamed, covering her ears.

Gwen glared. "Fine! See how I care! And you know how that first kiss with Duncan felt? It was amazing! The best kiss I'd ever gotten!"

Gwen didn't get to say any more, because in her rage, Courtney tackled her. The two slammed into the doors of the hotel elevator, which slipped open, causing them both to fall in. "Gwen! Courtney!" Bridgette grabbed the closest thing, Courtney's arm, but fell in the elevator shaft herself with a scream.

Trent, Geoff, and DJ cried out in terror.

* * *

Confession Cam

**Chris** Heh heh heh… How's that for a cliffhanger? See, that's good editing, folks. Now, none of you will dare change the channel, because of that suspense-inducing spot where we left you off! Now, you'll be on the edge of your seats, and you won't find out if Courtney, Bridgette, and Gwen survive unless you stay tuned after this commercial break!

(Bridgette walks into the bathroom, her hair messed up and dirt smudged on her sweatshirt).

**Bridgette** Oh, hey, Chris. Mind if I come in? I need to wash up after that elevator incident.

**Chris** OUT!

* * *

So how do you feel about the winners so far? Like 'em? Hate 'em? Feel free to bash me in the review section down below. Or praise me. I'm cool with that last one, but, you know, I'm easy.

Anyway, I'd like to say ahead of time that, obviously, not every character is going to get into the season. Several of my own favorites aren't going to get in - It all depends on the storyline. HOWEVER. Let me remind you all that this is Total Drama. Just because a contestant doesn't get in the competition at first does not mean that they're not going to be in the competition at all. I will tell you now that several characters who do not win this challenge will still get on the show! So, if your favorite character doesn't get a clam, don't have a panic attack or anything, because they may get on the show yet.

Thanks for reading!


	4. Revenge of the Hawaiian Island

**Disclaimer: **I do not own or have any affiliation with the Total Drama series or any of its characters. I am but a lowly fan. No bivalves were harmed in the making of this chapter.

**PhenomsServant: **Not a huge fan of Staci, huh? Haha, don't worry, any players that I let on will have at least a little piece to add to the overall story. Besides, she's only competed for one episode, so I feel she should at least get a little screen time. And are you _sure_ there's no way Courtney will accept? Bwahaha... Anyway, thanks for the review!

And now, on with the story!

* * *

**Episode 00, Part 4:**

**Revenge of the Hawaiian Island**

A shadow fell over a conch shell on the beach. Dawn picked it up and placed it next to her ear. The dainty blonde smiled in delight. "Oh, you can hear the ocean – B, you must try it!"

B placed the shell to his head – and recoiled in pain as a crab reached out and grabbed his ear.

"Aw, look, it likes you," said Dawn sweetly. B tried to grin at her, blinking away the tears in his eyes.

A high-pitched squeaking suddenly reached their ears. Dawn froze, looking horrified. "Oh, no. Oh, _no!_ I sense an animal in distress! Quickly, B! We must hurry!" She took off down the beach, with B hurrying close behind.

They reached the base of a tall palm tree, B still tugging at the crab. Dawn leaned over the sand. "Look, B." A baby bird was on the ground. "It must have fallen out of the tree." She picked it up and held it to her chest. "It's okay, little one. I'll get you back to your mother and father." She looked up the large tree. "All right. I can do this. This is no problem."

B waved at her warningly, but she shook her head. "No! I must not let this child of nature be harmed!" She put the bird on her shoulder and began to scale the tree, as B watched nervously.

Slowly, Dawn inched her way to the leafy branches. In the midst of the fronds was a nest, with two birds of paradise worriedly flitting about. "Don't worry, precious creatures," the aura reader soothed. "For I have returned your baby to you." She placed the baby bird in the nest, who chirped at its siblings. Its parents nuzzled it and looked at Dawn graciously.

"Of course, my friends. It was nothing." She scratched the baby's head and giggled, and then noticed something. "B! Look what I found! Clams!" Dawn pulled two clams out of the fronds, slid down the tree, and handed one to B. "Hooray, we found some! Now all we have to do is get to the safe zone and we win!"

They heard a Tarzan-like wail, and spotted Duncan swinging towards them on a vine. Dawn gasped and ducked, and Duncan swiped the clam from her hands, landing smoothly on the sand several feet away. "Oh, no!" said Dawn.

"Sorry, fairy princess," Duncan laughed. "But this bivalve belongs to me now."

One of the parents of the baby bird sailed down from the tree, shrieking in Duncan's face. "Get out of here, flying rat," he said, swatting at it.

The bird flitted out of Duncan's reach, glared at him, and whistled.

On every frond of every tree in the area, dozens of bird heads popped out from behind the greenery, all glaring at the punk. Duncan gulped. "Uh…"

As one, they attacked.

Dawn and B winced as Duncan's horrifying screams pierced the air. The stolen clam was tossed out of the fray, landing at Dawn's feet. She picked it up. "Wow. Do you think we should do something?" B shrugged. "Yeah, you're right. He'll be fine. Shall we?"

* * *

"Bridgette!"

Geoff, Trent, and DJ peered into the elevator shaft fearfully. Bridgette had managed to grab hold of a rung on the side, several feet below. Gwen held onto Bridgette's leg fearfully, and Courtney had her hands wrapped around Gwen's feet. They were hanging in open air, the shaft disappearing into darkness. At the sight of their plight, DJ screamed and fainted.

"Get us out of here!" cried Bridgette.

"No, no – I don't want to die! I'm going to law school! I have a future! I was a CIT!"

"Oh, don't start that up again," snarled Gwen.

"Oh, shut it, you weird goth girl!"

"Now is not the time!" said Bridgette.

"Guys! Just hang on, we'll get you out of there!" Trent called.

"Yeah! Gotta get help! Yeah! I'll go get help!" Geoff shot away from the elevator, running into the opposite wall in his haste. He slumped to the ground, unconscious.

Trent sighed. "Uh, just hang on! I'll, uh, I'll get help!" He ran down the hall.

Courtney, Gwen, and Bridgette exchanged worried glances with each other.

* * *

Jogging through the hall, Lightning turned a corner and came upon the unconscious bodies of DJ and Geoff. "Woah! Looks like something weird's goin' on here. Oh well! More prizes for Lightning!" The athlete picked up DJ's clam and started running down the hall.

Voices arose from the elevator shaft. "Wait, is someone up there?" said Gwen.

"Help us!" cried Bridgette.

Still running, Lightning turned his head to look behind him, in the direction of the voices. "Huh? Is someone calling for help?" There was suddenly the loud crashing of glass, and Lightning found himself staring out over the ocean – while not looking where he was going, the football star had smashed through the window at the end of the hall, and was now suspended ten stories above the sand.

Lightning had a split second to blink, and then realized his predicament and want screaming towards the ground. There was a loud _CRUNCH_, a man-shaped hole in the concrete, and the clam went flying.

* * *

Alejandro, Scott, Jo, Heather, Ezekiel, Sam, and Dakota walked through the resort. Tensions rose high within the group, and the former four kept throwing glares at one another. Sam, feeling awkward from the tense silence, finally tried to break the unease. "Hey, uh, anyone want to hear a joke? All right, all right, here goes. Why did the pirate go to the Caribbean? Because he wanted some 'arr' and 'arr'!"

Dakota and Ezekiel snorted and laughed, but the others looked less than impressed.

"Get it? It was a joke!" said Sam. Out of nowhere, a clam hit him on the head and fell into his arms. "Hey! What the –" Scott, Heather, Jo, and Alejandro leapt onto him, as Ezekiel watched in shock.

Dakota gasped in horror. "Sam! No!" She growled, baring her teeth. "Nobody hurt Sam!"

Heather, Jo, and Scott, having pinned Sam to the ground, looked up in alarm. "Uh-oh…" said Heather.

"Run!" screamed Scott. They scattered, but Alejandro was a little too slow. Dakota picked him up and threw him into the horizon. She then grabbed Sam, who was still in a daze, and the clam, which Alejandro had dropped. "Don't worry, Sam! Dakota will get you into the safe zone!" She sprinted towards the beach.

Meanwhile, at the base of the hotel, Lightning pulled himself out of the hole. "I'm alive?" he murmured. "I'm alive! Sha –" Dakota accidentally stepped on him with a giant clawed foot.

"Look, Sam! The safe zone!" she said. "You gonna make it!"

"…Wuh?" Sam mumbled.

The campers already in the safe zone felt the earth trembling, and looked around in surprise. "What is…?" said Brick.

"Ooh, look!" Izzy pointed excitedly. "Giant monster girl!"

They shrieked and dove out of the way as Dakota slammed into the safe zone, showering everyone with sand. "Yes! Sam did it! Sam in safe zone!"

"I am?" said Sam.

"Not quite." The cheerfully sadistic voice floated over them as Chris walked up. "True, both Sam and Dakota are in the safe zone. But there's only one clam. And Dakota, you're holding it!"

"What?" Dakota said, dropping Sam in shock.

"Yep. Dakota wins, Sam doesn't. Dakota's safe, but Sam's still in the game!"

"Uh, quick, Sam! Dakota help you find clam!"

"Not so fast," Chris chided. "Once you're in the safe zone, you can't help anyone else. I'm afraid that Sam is on his own."

"What?!" Dakota grabbed at her hair in anger, and the other contestants shrank back. "What you mean, Dakota no help Sam?"

"Dakota, calm down! It's okay!" Sam said, pulling at her leg.

"No it not! Sam not get clam!"

"Dakota, Dakota. Sit down." Dakota did as Sam said, staring at him morosely. Sam put a hand on his girlfriend's shoulder, cleared his throat, and began to sing. "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine… You make me happy when skies are grey…"

The other contestants stared at them, perturbed. Chris had an increasingly dumbfounded look on his face.

Dakota avoided Sam's eyes. He continued. "You'll never know, dear, how much I love you… C'mon! You know the words! This is your favorite part!"

Dakota looked at him, and managed a weak smile. "Please don't go on rampage today?"

"Great! Now I'm going to leave. Okay? But I'll be all right."

"Okay, Sam! Bye bye! Dakota miss you!" Dakota waved cheerfully as her boyfriend walked off, and then realized that all of the other winners were crowded at the opposite side of the circle, as far away from her as possible. "What wrong with you guys?"

* * *

Confession Cam

**Cameron** It's not that Dakota's frightening, but… Okay, she is totally frightening! She's not a bad person or anything, but man, when she got angry, I swear I saw my life flash before my eyes!

* * *

Chris' maniacal laugh emanated from the television set, putting dread in the hearts of all living things in the boiler room.

"Oh no! We're all gonna die!" wailed Owen. Noah shouted something as he tried to break free from the larger teen's grip, but it was unintelligible as Owen had smashed the cynic's head to his chest in panic.

"Chris! What do you want from us?" demanded Sierra.

"I see that you four have yet to claim a prize," said Chris. "Luckily, I have four clams in this room, that can be yours for the taking."

"Oh, good. Then, can we have them?" Owen asked. "I haven't eaten for several minutes and I'd like to get back to that buffet!"

"Sure. You just have to do one teensy little thing," said Chris. "The boiler has been rigged to become a time bomb. It will blow up in exactly fifteen minutes. Deactivate the bomb before it sends you and everyone else in the hotel to kingdom come, and your clams will appear." A timer strapped to the boiler began to count down from fifteen minutes.

"What?" screamed Sierra.

"No!" wailed Owen.

"Uh, pass," Cody croaked.

"Mmfph!" said Noah.

"Tick-tock!" Chris laughed, and the television flickered off. The timer continued to count down.

* * *

Bridgette's fingers strained as she fought to hold on to the side of the shaft. "How you doing, Bridge?" asked Gwen, trying to sound optimistic.

"Oh – I'm, uh, doing great!" Bridgette tried to smile, and grimaced as she felt her fingers slip; she quickly scrabbled for hold again. "Yeah! Just great!"

"Oh, where is Trent?" said Courtney. A mechanical clanking filled the shaft, and a light blinked below their feet. Courtney cried out in surprise. "Guys! Somebody's using the elevator!"

* * *

On the bottom floor, Zoey walked into the elevator. "Well, I didn't see any clams outside. So maybe Chris hid them in here…" She pressed the button for the thirtieth floor.

* * *

Courtney cried out in fear as the elevator began slowly making its way up to them. "Courtney! Courtney! It's okay!" said Gwen. "We'll just hop on when it reaches us. Then we'll just ride it up to the door! Sound good, Bridge? Just hold on a little longer!"

"Uh… yeah!" Bridgette was straining to keep hold, sweating under all their weight.

"I can't believe I nearly had to die with gothy here," said Courtney. "That would be the worst way to go, to die alongside you!"

"Um, excuse me?" said Gwen.

"Not that dying in any manner would be fun, but to have to do so with someone as lame and disgusting as you – that would just add insult to injury!"

"You're not exactly in the position to be talking bad to me," said Gwen. Her feet were the only things keeping Courtney from falling into the shaft.

"You don't have the guts, gothy!"

"By that, you mean I'm not homicidal and actually have morals?"

"Morals? If you had any morals, you wouldn't have made out with my boyfriend on live TV!"

"Maybe if you weren't such a jerk all the time, Duncan would have still wanted you!"

"Augh! Are you hearing this, Bridgette? And you want me to actually forgive this freak?"

But Bridgette was straining to hold on, as her fingers slowly slid closer to the edge. She grunted, trying to keep her grip, but finally slipped. The three screamed and plummeted down the shaft – but their fall was broken by the roof of the elevator car.

* * *

Zoey started in surprise as she heard a large crash from the top of the elevator car. She shrugged and blew it off.

* * *

The three girls sat up, and groaned. "I – I'm alive?" said Courtney. "I'm alive! Ha ha! Yes! I survived!"

"But we almost didn't," snapped Bridgette, jamming a finger in Gwen and Courtney's faces. "We could have died right there, and you two would have never made up! And I know neither of you want that."

"Yeah, well, whatever." Courtney looked up to the open door that the elevator was taking them to. "The fact is that we're still alive, and in a moment I'll step off this elevator and my life will be back to normal."

Above them, the elevator doors slid shut.

"Huh?" said Courtney.

"What?" said Gwen.

* * *

"Dude! How is closing the door going to help them?" Trent cried at the employee.

"I don't know," said the pimply teenager, voice cracking. "I just work the snack shack on the beach, man. I don't know anything about elevators."

* * *

Courtney pounded at the closed doors as they passed, but Bridgette pulled her back as it was sucked underneath the elevator car. "No! What are we going to do?" cried Courtney.

"It's okay," said Bridgette, trying not to sound afraid. "We'll just wait until the person reaches their floor, and then pry open the next set of doors."

Gwen looked upwards, and pointed in fear. "Uh, guys?" she said, as the top of the shaft quickly approached. "What floor is this elevator going to?" The three girls gasped.

* * *

Zoey stood with her hands on her hips and tapped her foot as she waited for the elevator to reach the thirtieth floor –

The _top_ floor.

* * *

Katie screamed. "No! I don't want to die yet!" She and Sadie were sprinting through the beach umbrellas, the former hugging the clam to her chest, as Eva raged behind them.

"I know! You're way too pretty to die!" said Sadie.

"Aww, really? You think I'm that pretty?"

"Totally!"

"Aw… Well, you're pretty too!"

"Aw, thanks! You're such a good friend!"

"No, you're such a good friend!"

"I will destroy both of you!" Eva screamed. The two girls screamed and ran.

They saw the safe zone on the beach, and Justin walked in front of it, waving his arms. "Look! There's Justin!" said Sadie.

"Ladies! Quick! Throw the clam to me so that I don't get beat up by Eva!" Justin sensed a strong silence behind him, and turned to see those in the winner's circle glaring at him. "What's wrong with you guys?"

"That is so unchivalrous that it's just disgraceful," said Brick.

Sadie glanced over her shoulder, and saw Eva stampeding towards them. "Katie, she's coming!"

"Quick! Evasive maneuvers!"

"Ziggy-zaggy! Ziggy-zaggy!" Katie and Sadie branched off, running in different directions. Eva raced after Katie.

"Sadie, catch!" Katie threw the clam over Eva's head, and Sadie jumped up and grabbed it.

"Got it!"

Eva gave a snarl of frustration and wheeled around to chase Sadie.

"Katie!" Sadie threw the clam back to the darker-skinned BFF.

"Stop being so dumb!" said Eva, turning back once again.

Katie threw the clam back at Sadie, to get Eva off her tail, and slid to a stop next to Justin and the safe zone. "Sadie! I've reached Justin! Throw it here!"

"Okay!" Sadie raised the clam, but was abruptly tackled by Eva. The clam went flying through the air.

Eva looked up at the clam, gasping in surprise.

Katie looked up at the clam, gasping in shock.

Sadie looked up at the clam, gasping in horror.

Justin admired himself in a hand mirror, miming kisses at his reflection.

The clam caught Katie in the gut and hurtled her into the safe zone. "Katie!" cried Sadie.

"Ow. Okay, that hurt." Katie rubbed her head as Lindsay helped her to her feet. She realized that she had a clam, and squealed in glee. "Justin! Justin, I've got a clam for you!"

"Hold on there, tiger." Chris stepped out of nowhere in his usual manner, blocking off Justin from Katie. "You got in the safe zone with that clam, Katie. It's yours!"

"Huh?" said Justin.

"What?" snarled Eva.

"Eee!" Sadie clapped her hands.

"Oh," said Katie, looking down at her clam. "Well then can I give it to Justin?"

"No."

"But if it's my prize –"

"No!"

"But I only –"

"No! Katie in, Justin out! It's as simple as that!"

"Well that was a waste of time," said Justin, angrily stomping off.

"Are you kidding me?" Eva snarled, raising her fist. "That was my clam! I was supposed to win the prize!" Several other contestants were backing away, and Chris looked genuinely worried. "Why I oughtta… Aw, forget this." Eva waved them off and stormed down the beach. Everyone sighed in relief.

Sadie walked up to the safe zone. "I'm so happy you won a prize, Katie!"

"Me too! But I'm sad that you don't have one yet. C'mon, I'll help you find one!" The two girls began merrily heading down the beach, but Chris stopped them.

"Nuh-uh. Once you win, you can't help anyone else. Back to your circle, Katie… or, Sadie. I can't really tell you two apart."

"But… I have to help Sadie!" said Katie. "What if she doesn't get a prize?"

"Then she's a big ol' loser! Now get back into the safe zone! Can't you follow the simplest orders?"

"Don't worry, Katie, I'll get a prize and be back here soon!" They squeezed each other's hands, and then Sadie pranced down the beach as Katie sadly slouched back into the safe zone. Mike put a hand on her shoulder.

* * *

Harold and Leshawna walked down the beach, the ocean surf lapping at their feet. Leshawna sighed. "Harold, listen. There's something I've gotta get off my chest. I know you want to wait until after the challenge, but I feel like it should be done sooner than later."

"Yes?" said Harold, listening intently.

"Well, you see…" Leshawna blinked, and saw a figure sitting on a rock farther down the beach. "Is that Beth? She looks upset. Come on, we should go see what's wrong."

Beth looked up as they approached. "Hey guys," she said sadly.

"What's up with you, girl? You look down."

"Well, since you mentioned it, I do have a problem," said Beth.

"You probably need more fiber in your diet," said Harold. He shrunk under Leshawna's glare. "What? I get all mopey when I don't eat enough fiber."

"You see, it's just…" Beth lifted up three prizes from behind the rock. "I found three clams, and I don't know what to do with them!"

"Woah, really?" said Leshawna, as Beth threw one to her and Harold.

"Sweet! You're awesome!" said Harold.

"Of course! Now let's get to the safe zone!" said Beth, brandishing her clam valiantly.

Anne Maria ran by, snatching Beth's clam. "Thanks for the prize, girlie!"

"You'll forever regret this day, the day that you invoked my wrath!" Beth screamed. She wheeled upon Harold and Leshawna. "You two – forget about me! I'll be fine! Get into the safe zone!" With a war-like cry, Beth charged after Anne Maria.

Cackling, the Snookie-wannabe ran down the dock, leapt into a motorboat, and sped away. Beth leapt into a boat of her own, in hot pursuit.

* * *

Lightning slowly opened his eyes. He was lying in a hospital bed, in the green medical tent that was often set up for injuries during Total Drama. His eyes widened, and he abruptly sat up, ripping off the oxygen mask strapped to his face. "Where am I? Oww!" His whole body ached.

Chef, dressed in a nurse's uniform, looked over at him. "You fell out of a ten-story window and then got trampled by monster girl. You need to rest."

"What? Rest? No way, dude! Lightning still has to win!" Lightning tried to jump out of bed, but his legs were too weak at the moment, and he fell on his face. "Aw man, for real?"

"Kid, you need to stay in bed. You'll only hurt yourself more if you go out there right now."

"No way, old man! Lightning never loses!" Lightning pulled himself into a nearby wheelchair, and began wheeling to the exit.

Chef shrugged. "Kid, you crazy."

"All right! The game is on now! Those other contestants better beware, and prepare… for Lightning… to –" The wheelchair caught on a cord, falling forward and dropping Lightning on his face. Lightning quickly righted it and wheeled to the exit. "Lightning to strike!"

* * *

"Alejandro! There you are! Oh, I was so worried!" Heather ran up to the robot and hugged him, before she looked embarrassed and pulled away. "I, uh, thought you might have gotten hurt."

"No, I am fine," said Alejandro. "But I did find this." He held out a clam for her.

"Oh, Alejandro – for me?" Heather looked genuinely pleased at the act of generosity, though the moment was interrupted when Jo and Scott tackled her.

As the four attempted to throttle each other for the clam, Ezekiel stood on the outskirts of the fight, shifting uncomfortably.

* * *

Confession Cam

**Ezekiel** My folks told me to work on my social skills when I was here, eh. I'm not much of a fighter. But what better way is there to learn social skills other than to do exactly what everyone else is doing?

* * *

With a shrug, Ezekiel leapt into the fray. Immediately, a stray fist from Jo hit him in the jaw, and he plowed headfirst into the sand.

The four pulled out of their fight, looking surprised. "Oops. Sorry, kid," said Jo. "You all right?"

Ezekiel's face was buried in the sand. His fingers and legs twitch, and a sort of whine came from him.

"Great. You broke the kid," said Scott, rolling his eyes.

"Hey. Zeke. Get up." Jo whistled and clapped her hands. "Walk it off, soldier, you'll be fine."

Ezekiel slowly rose to his feet, facing away from them. His fingers twitched, and a low growl rose from his chest. He turned to them, growling angrily, a feral look in his eyes.

"That's not a good sign," said Jo.

"You've made him go feral!" shouted Heather.

Ezekiel snarled and ripped off his muzzle in one clean swipe. "Run!" screamed Scott, and they scattered. Ezekiel leapt to the top of the nearest beach umbrella, overlooked the resort, and howled.

* * *

"Look! The safe zone!" Harold said, pointing across the beach.

"Whoo! We're gonna make it!" said Leshawna.

B and Dawn walked out of a group of palm trees, meeting up with the other two. "Well hello, fellow contestants!" said Dawn. "Are you heading for the safe zone as well?"

"Sure are," said Leshawna. She blanched as Dawn stuck her face up into hers, studying her intently. "Uh, I don't mean to sound rude, but do you understand the concept of personal space?"

"You two have the same goal," she said, gesturing to Harold as well. "You need to talk about it. Tell each other what you have been yearning to say since you arrived here."

"What? Tell her what? I'm not suppressing any emotions deep inside me that are dying to burst out," Harold said, sweating and glancing about nervously.

"Uh, yeah, what he said!"

"Oh, but you are!" Dawn continued, encouraged. "It's right there in your auras!"

A shadow suddenly fell over the group, creating a distraction that Leshawna and Harold were greatly thankful for. All eyes turned to the top of a sandy rise. Lightning was perched atop the rise, sitting in a wheelchair, with ruffled hair and glazed-over eyes. "Claaams!" he gurgled, a dopey smile plastered over his face.

A shadow from the opposite direction fell over the group, and they turned to see Duncan stumble out of the grove of palm trees. He was covered in dirt and scratches, and his usually confident stride seemed rather loopy. "Ah-ha, looks like you dorks got some p-prizes," he said, swaying. "I hope you don't mind giving them to me!" He jammed his thumb in his chest proudly, and leaned back too far and stumbled to the ground. "Eh-heh, now prepare to feel the pain!" he said, as he picked himself up.

Lightning gave a rather ridiculous, war-like wail, and rolled down the dune.

Duncan raised his hands, laughed sadistically, and raced forward. Both he and Lightning completely missed the group, instead colliding with each other and becoming a moaning pile of twitching human limbs and collapsed wheelchair parts.

"Oh, dear," said Dawn at last.

"Well, that kind of solved itself," said Harold. He laughed awkwardly. "Shall we?"

* * *

"And that's thirteen down, and twelve prizes left," said Chris, as B, Dawn, Harold, and Leshawna went into the safe zone. "Who will win?"

"Chris, now that we've won, can me and Harold leave for a moment?" asked Leshawna. "We need to have a talk."

"Sure," said Chris, looking smug. "Why not?"

* * *

Confession Cam

**Harold **And thus it arrived. I knew it was time. I didn't like the idea, but if I really cared about Leshawna, it was time to sever the ties that keep our relationship together. (He looks determined, but then sniffs, and breaks down). No! No! You must stay strong and do this for Leshawna! (He tries to regain control, but bursts into tears again).

**Leshawna** Well, it's time. I hope he doesn't take it too hard. Ooh, things are gonna get messy. Poor little guy.

* * *

Leshawna led Harold into the hotel lobby, and finally located a large empty ballroom where they would be allowed some privacy. She took a deep breath. "Harold, look. I –"

Harold put a finger to her lips. "Not yet, my love. I know you wish to speak with me, but first I have something to tell you."

Nathaniel was mopping in the hallway outside when he heard the horrible cry, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU'RE BREAKING UP WITH ME?" and ducked in surprise as Harold, screaming, was thrown over his head.

* * *

Confession Cam

**Leshawna** (Enraged) Harold broke up with me? _He_ broke up with _me?_ How dare that skinny little… I, I know that I was going to do the same to him. But HE'S supposed to want to stay with me! He was supposed to be begging me to come back, not be the one who actually performs the break-up! Ooh, that worthless little…

**Harold** I thought it was what she wanted!

* * *

As Leshawna glared at Harold from across the safe zone, Chris was peering down the beach as two figures raced towards them. "And it looks like we're about to have two more winners!"

Alejandro and Heather raced into the safe zone, both grasping clams. "Yes! Victory!" Heather twirled her clam on her fingertips like a basketball. "Luckily we stumbled across an extra clam while running from freak-zekiel."

A couple campers groaned or rolled their eyes. "Great. Of course they have to win," said Leshawna.

* * *

Cody and Sierra stared nervously at a bundle of wires underneath the timer. Owen was screaming and running laps around the room, Noah still clutched to his chest. The timer was at eight minutes.

"What do we do?" said Sierra, grabbing at her hair.

"I – I don't know which wire to cut!" Cody held a pair of scissors in his hands, which were shaking wildly in his nervousness.

"The red one. It's always the red one in movies!"

Cody peered at the wires. "They're all red!" They glimpsed at the timer. It was at seven minutes.

"We're running out of time!" said Sierra, over Owen's screams.

"Okay. Okay, I'm gonna cut one," Cody said, reaching the scissors into the jumble.

"Be careful!" Sierra squeaked.

Cody reached the scissors into the jumble of wires. He bit his lip, sweating nervously. Sierra watched, shaking, fingers crossed. Finally, Cody chose a wire, and snipped.

The timer stopped, frozen on 7:26.

The two stared at it in disbelief. "H… Hey! We did it!" Sierra said. "Yes! Whoo-hoo!" She and Cody cheered in joy.

The clock suddenly turned to two minutes, and started counting down again. They screamed.

"Okay, there has to be some way to defuse this!" said Cody.

Sierra gasped, and slapped her hand to her forehead. "Of course! Noah! The kid's a genius, he might be able to figure it out! Owen, stop!" She rushed in front of Owen, who halted and became silent. "Quick. Let go of Noah! He might be able to stop the bomb!"

Owen took his hands off of Noah, but the cynic was suspended in the air for a moment, kept in place by Owen's body fat. Finally, he fell away with a squelch, landing on the floor on his back, and didn't move.

Cody bent down to inspect him. "I think you may have hugged him a little too hard, Owen."

"Oh no!" said Sierra. "He's been knocked unconscious!"

Owen chuckled nervously. "Oops, sorry. Sometimes I don't know my own strength when I'm terrified."

"But he was our only hope of stopping the bomb," said Sierra. "Now what do we do?"

The three looked over at the timer. It was at 1:30. They screamed.

* * *

Courtney, Bridgette, and Gwen's screams echoed throughout the elevator shaft. They grew in intensity as the elevator approached the top floor, the ceiling coming down to greet them.

"It looks like this is it!" cried Gwen

"This is ridiculous!" said Bridgette, pounding on the roof of the elevator. "We're yelling at the top of our lungs! How on earth can the person in the elevator not hear us?"

In the car, Zoey had her headphones in and was tapping her foot and singing, oblivious to the pounds and shouts from above. "Baby, you light up my world like nobody else, the way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed, da da da, hmm hmm hmm… You don't know you're beautiful!"

Courtney wrapped her arms around Gwen's neck, pulling her closer. "I forgive you! I forgive you for making out with my boyfriend on air! I'm sorry for holding this grudge for so long!"

"I'm sorry, too!" Gwen sobbed. "I didn't even think about how you would feel, and I betrayed your trust! We were even friend-ish! I shouldn't have been hitting on your boyfriend, and even if we did hook up, it shouldn't have been behind your back when you were still going out with him!"

The two cried together. "I just want to live!" Courtney said. She suddenly pulled away and began jumping on the roof. "It's – just – not – fair! I – demand – to –live!"

The elevator roof suddenly cracked. Zoey looked up in surprise, and cried out as Bridgette, Gwen, and Courtney fell in on top of her. "Oh my gosh! Bridgette! Gwen – Courtney? Are you all right?"

"I'm alive?" Courtney stood, feeling herself. "I'm alive! Yes! Ha ha, take that, universe!"

Bridgette and Gwen also cheered, as Zoey stared in shock. Gwen and Courtney high-fived each other, and then, realizing what they were doing, looked at the ground uncomfortably. The elevator reached the top floor and dinged open. The four stepped out.

"I am so sorry," Zoey was stuttering. "If I had any idea you were up there…"

"Don't worry about it," said Bridgette. "We're okay, and that's all that matters." She spotted Gwen and Courtney, still staring at the floor, and walked in between them. "And I seem to remember you two doing a little making up?"

"Well it doesn't matter now," said Courtney, sticking her nose in the air. She walked to the other side of the room, past Gwen, Bridgette, and Zoey. "It was under stressful conditions. I can't be held responsible for anything I said." Bridgette sighed, and Gwen looked away. The goth spotted something behind a potted plant, and pulled two clams out from behind it.

"Hey! Bridge! Look what I found!" Gwen tossed one to Bridgette, but then caught eyes with Courtney, staring longingly across the room. Gwen sighed, walked over to Courtney, and thrust the clam into the CIT's hands. "There. Can we call a truce now? I just really don't want to fight anymore."

Courtney stared at the clam in surprise, and then locked eyes with Gwen. "Fine. Truce." She stuck her hand out and stonily shook. "But don't get the idea that we're friends now. We're just not enemies any longer." She gave Gwen one last, withering glare, and sprinted out of the room.

Bridgette put her hand on Gwen's shoulder, and Zoey applauded. "Nice job, Gwen," approved the blonde surfer.

"Psh. 'Don't get the idea that we're friends.' As if anyone could become friends with that girl."

"She's really not that bad," Bridgette said, frowning.

A door burst open, and Trent, DJ, and Geoff burst into the room. "Bridgette! You're all right!" screamed Geoff. He swept Bridgette off her feet, and DJ and Trent laughed and embraced Gwen.

"Hey, where's Courtney?" asked DJ.

"She's all right," said Gwen. "She left already."

"Oh, I thought that I would never see you again," said Bridgette.

"I'm just glad that I got my Bridgey-bear back," said Geoff. They embraced, and Bridgette leaned her head against Geoff's chest, as Zoey watched lovingly in the background.

An explosion rocked the hotel, throwing everyone off of their feet.

* * *

The contestants in the safe zone jumped as a huge explosion came from the hotel. "What was that?" asked Mike nervously.

Chris chuckled as he watched the smoke cloud rise from the building. "Oh, my guess is that Cody failed to deactivate his time bomb."

"Time bomb?" Tyler scratched his head, which was wrapped in bandages from his earlier injury. "I don't think that's legal."

"Just what show do you think you're on?" asked Chris. Distant screaming diverted the contestants' gaze to the sky. Four black shape were flying through the air, tails of smoke trailing behind them. Blackened, burnt, and smoking, Owen, Noah, Sierra, and Cody plummeted to the sand right outside the safe zone. A moment later, four clams landed on the beach beside them. They twitched and moaned.

Chris laughed. "Nice job, you guys. That'll be great for ratings!"

"That… was _not _cool, Maclean!" Noah snapped.

Chris smiled. "Hey, you still got your clams. I'm not completely heartless."

Moaning, Owen, Cody, and Noah climbed to their feet, picked up a clam each, and stumbled into the safe zone. Sierra was right behind them, when a flash of orange and white passed by, and Scott jumped into the safe zone with her clam. "Huh?"

"Hey!" Cody said.

"That was her clam!" admonished Brick.

"Not cool, man," Dakota rumbled.

"Sorry," Scott sneered, shrugging at Sierra. "Just playing the game."

Sierra grumbled and moved off, extinguishing a small flame in her hair.

* * *

Confession Cam

**Sierra** Okay. Gwen used to be my least favorite contestant, because of the competition she presented with my Cody. But now, I think that position might be held by someone else!

* * *

Smoke clogged the halls of the hotel as Trent, DJ, Gwen, Geoff, Zoey, and Bridgette made their way to the exit. Tourists and guests darted through the hallway, dragging their luggage behind them. The hotel manager pushed past them, shouting into a cellphone, "What do you mean, he placed a time bomb inside the hotel? I didn't give him permission to do that!"

"Look, guys! The exit!" DJ pointed. The group trudged across the hotel lounge, reached the front doors, and burst into the tropical sunshine, panting.

"Good luck, guys!" said Zoey, darting away.

"You too!" said Trent, as they waved her off. "Man. A perfectly good hotel, ruined by Chris."

"So. Do we go to the safe zone now?" asked Geoff.

"But Gwen doesn't have a clam yet," said Bridgette.

"Wait, DJ, dude," said Trent. "Where did your prize go?"

DJ looked as if he hadn't considered this, and patted himself down. "Oh. I don't know. Something must have happened to it when I was knocked out."

"Quick! We gotta get you guys clams!" said Geoff.

"No," said DJ. "The clams are probably running out by now. You don't want yours to get stolen."

Geoff looked distressed. "But –"

"DJ's right." Gwen walked over and stood by the brickhouse. "You three, get to the safe zone. You deserve to win the prize. Me and DJ will find our own clams."

"You sure about that?" asked Trent.

"Yeah," said DJ. "No problem, brother. Now go on, get out of here, before someone sees you."

"All right. Good luck, dudes." Geoff, Bridgette, and Trent exchanged high-fives with Gwen and DJ, and ran down the beach. DJ and Gwen pounded fists, and went in the opposite direction.

* * *

Courtney sprinted through the resort umbrellas, clutching her clam tightly. "Yes! I am so going to win this!"

A dark shape suddenly leapt down from an umbrella, landing in her path. Ezekiel looked up at her, and growled.

"Oh, great," Courtney said. "This is all I need. Well then, you want to fight me for this? Bring it on!"

Ezekiel snarled, and leapt. He and Courtney rolled over the ground, wrestling over the clam, each sounding more feral than the other. Courtney kicked Ezekiel off, who smashed into an umbrella. He picked himself up, and glared at Courtney. Courtney narrowed her eyes.

There was a tense moment of silence as they faced each other off. Then, at once, they charged.

Courtney wailed, picking up a pool chair and swinging it like a baseball bat. Ezekiel flew high into the sky. Courtney laughed. "That's what happens when you mess with a CIT." Ezekiel popped up behind her, grabbing the clam and darting away with it. "Hey!"

The feral prairie boy sprinted across the resort, with Courtney close behind him. "Give me back my clam, you freak!" She leapt at him, but Zeke ducked, and she sailed over his head and into the poolside snack shack. Ezekiel chuckled darkly, but Courtney hurtled a plate of nachos at his face, splattering him with tortilla chips and cheese. He licked his lips and growled in pleasure, until Courtney tackled him. She grabbed the clam, but Ezekiel held on, growling at her. "Let go, you –" The nacho cheese caused Courtney to lose her grip, and she tumbled backwards into the pool. Ezekiel chuckled, before placing the clam between his teeth and sprinting away on all fours.

"You think this is over?" Courtney coughed, soaking wet. "You've barely seen what I can do!"

* * *

Anne Maria sped the boat through the water, wind whipping through her hair. She spotted the safe zone, further down the beach. "Yes! I am so winning this thing!" Her boat rocked violently, nearly throwing her off her feet. She turned around. "What the –"

Bringing up a boat behind her, Beth smiled a wicked braces-free smile. "Think you could get rid of me that easily, did you?"

"Why you –" Anne Maria sped away, but Beth followed, ramming into the side of her boat. Anne Maria glared at the red circle of the safe zone down that beach, and rocketed toward it.

Beth pulled out a length of rope from her boat, twirled it like a lasso, and wrapped it around Anne Maria's motor. She leapt across the length of rope, landing in Anne Maria's vehicle.

The jersey girl turned to face her. "What the –"

Beth spotted the clam lying on the seat, and lifted it above her head. "Yes! Victory!"

"Not so fast, girlfriend!" Anne Maria grabbed the clam, and the two girls began wrestling over it. Without a driver, the speedboat began to careen out of control.

Walking on shore, DJ pointed out the boat to Gwen. "Hey, look! Beth and Anne Maria have a clam!"

The boat suddenly swerved, heading straight towards them. It burst onto the water and flew onto the sand. DJ screamed. "Look out!" he said, diving out of the way. Gwen wasn't as fast. The boat slammed into her, pinning her against the windshield, the renegade clam smashing into her torso.

The contestants in the safe zone screamed and scattered as the boat slammed nose-first into the red circle. Beth and Anne Maria were thrown down the beach, but Gwen sank to the ground, clutching the clam to her chest.

"Nice job, Gwen," Chris said, as she twitched and shook in shock. "And you got the clam just in time, because unless I'm mistaken, we're getting down to our final winners!"

* * *

Ezekiel grinned toothily, clutching the clam in his jaws, as he sprinted like an animal across the resort. Nathaniel was minding his own business, mopping the tile, when the prairie boy ran right over him.

A frisbee flew out of nowhere, smacking the feral kid in the head, and he growled. Lightning rolled out from behind a resort umbrella. "Hey, weird kid. That clam belongs to me!"

Ezekiel growled, and ran in the opposite direction. Lightning rolled after him. They both ran over Nathaniel, who had just gotten back to his feet.

Sam saw them running by, and grinned in joy. "Hey, awesome! A clam! Huh-huh-huh."

Sierra was searching through the resort when the three ran by. "Hey! A clam! Wait, I need it to join Cody!"

Beth and Anne Maria picked themselves off of the sand, rubbing their heads, when the four ran by. They grinned wickedly at each other. "Race for the clam?" said Anne Maria.

"Definitely," said Beth. They bumped fists, and joined the chase.

Ezekiel halted as three figures stepped in front of him. DJ, Jo, and Justin blocked his escape. "Sorry, bud, but we gotta get that clam," said DJ.

"No offense. It's just that the attractive people deserve to win," said Justin.

Ezekiel looked worriedly over his shoulder, where Sam, Sierra, Anne Maria, Beth, and Lightning were waiting. He looked back at the three in front of him. There was a tense moment of silence, when –

Courtney tackled him, grabbing the clam. "Yes!" she shouted. "Number one!" The others tackled her, burying her under a pile of teenagers, the clam slipping out of her grip. Ezekiel grabbed it again, sprinting across the resort. The others charged after him.

Nathaniel was squeezing his arms and legs, ecstatic at not having any broken bones, when the entire crowd ran over him.

Ezekiel leapt onto the hotel wall and began scaling the building. Courtney snarled, right behind him. "Oh, you think you can get away that easy?"

The others hung back, watching. "Wow. That girl's even crazier in real life," said Jo.

Duncan joined the crowd, rubbing his head and wincing. "What's going on over here? Oh, wow." He spotted Courtney. "Remind me again why I broke up with her."

"Whatever, Lightning's not gonna sit back and let his clam be taken away! Who needs this thing?" Angrily, he tossed his wheelchair behind him, and began climbing the side of the building using only his hands. Duncan's eyes widened, and he was knocked to the ground by the wheelchair.

"They're heading for the roof!" said Beth.

"We could take the elevator?" Sam suggested.

* * *

The eight crammed into an elevator as they waited to get to the top level in awkward silence. "Hey, uh, anyone want to hear a joke?" Sam said. "All right, here goes. What is the definition of a good farmer? A man outstanding in his field!"

Beth, DJ, Anne Maria, and Sierra snickered and laughed.

* * *

Ezekiel jumped on the roof, barely avoiding Courtney's swipe. The CIT tried to follow him, but something grabbed her leg. "Oh, no!" said Lightning. "That is my prize!" Courtney smacked him in the face, and he grasped it in pain as she leapt after Zeke. "Ow! How dare you strike Lightning? Lightning is the one who is supposed to do the striking!"

Courtney tackled Ezekiel, and they began to wrestle over the clam. Lightning, meanwhile, attempted to stand, his legs wobbling. "All right, Lightning. You can do this. You are strong."

The elevator opened, and the crowd stepped out. They surrounded Courtney and Ezekiel. "All right, give it up," said Jo. "Just hand over the prize, and no one gets hurt."

Courtney spotted Duncan, and gasped. "You!" she said, and attacked him. As the unsuspecting punk was beaten to a pulp, the others charged at Ezekiel.

Anne Maria tackled Zeke, and DJ grabbed the clam. Sierra jumped onto DJ's shoulders, reaching for the mollusc, when Jo snagged it away. She was tackled by Beth, letting go of the clam, which struck Justin in the face ("No! My perfectly chiseled features!"). Ezekiel grabbed the prize again, but Sam got on all fours and tripped him, it was caught by Sierra, who began to fight over it with Justin.

"H – Hey! I think I got it! Yes!" Lightning scores again!" Lightning stood strongly, and smiled at the group. "And now, Lightning's gonna win." He leapt at the clam, tackling Sierra and Justin, and sent the prize flying.

"Uncle! Uncle!" Duncan pleaded, as Courtney pinned him to the ground, lifting his arm behind his back. The clam landed next to them. There was a split second's pause, and they both scrabbled for it; Duncan kicked Courtney off, grabbed the clam, and lifted it to the air. "Ha ha, yes! Take that, lo –" Anne Maria tackled him, and all the others leapt on top, struggling for the prize.

* * *

Zoey walked along the beach and the poolside, looking nervously for clams. "Oh, I don't see anybody," she mumbled nervously. "I hope all the prizes haven't been taken."

She walked by a small stand advertising hang gliding and parasailing, and the man running it called out to her. "Hey, little girl! Care to rent a hang glider? There's nowhere to do it better than the beautiful Hawaii!"

"No thanks, I'm busy right now," she replied, without looking at him, but then got an idea and turned around. "Wait… Actually…"

* * *

Geoff, Trent, and Bridgette ran into the safe zone filled with the other contestants, which for some reason had a speedboat stuck nose-first in the middle. "We did it!" Geoff panted.

"Whoo!" said Bridgette. She high-fived Gwen and Leshawna.

"And it looks like just in time, too," said Trent. "This place is getting pretty filled up. Aw, man. I hope Deej gets a spot."

"Or Sadie," moaned Katie. "I haven't gone this long without talking to her for ages. I wonder what she's up to?"

* * *

Sadie peeled apart some bushes at the base of a palm tree and spotted a clam. "Eee!" she squealed, clapping her hands. She reached to grab it, but another hand was placed on the clam at the same time. Sadie looked up to come face-to-face with Eva.

"Eva!" she said. "This clam's mine!"

"Just stay out of my way, kiddo, if you don't want to get hurt." Eva took the clam and walked away, but Sadie grabbed her shoulder and halted her.

"You don't understand," said the Asian girl darkly. "I _need_ that clam. I need to get to Katie."

Eva raised an eyebrow. "Are you actually challenging me?"

"You don't want to get between me and my BFFFL."

Eva stared incredulously, and then tossed the clam off to the side. "All right, I'll fight you for it."

Sadie glared at the fitness buff, balling her hands into fists. Eva grinned viciously, and cracked her neck.

Sadie screamed and charged. Eva screamed and charged. The weightlifter threw a punch, but Sadie ducked, sliding past her. Eva tried to turn around, but Sadie completed a roundhouse kick, knocking Eva to the ground. Eva struggled to stand, but Sadie jumped on top of her and began tickling her.

"Gitchie-gitchie-goo! Gitchie-gitchie!"

"No! Ha-ha, stop! What – ha-ha – is this?! Stop!"

"Say uncle! Say uncle!"

"No, ah-ha-haa! Stop! I won't say it! Ha-ha, no! Aunt! Cousin! Ah-ha-ha, brother! Mailman! No!" Eva tossed Sadie off of her, and dashed for the clam. Sadie jumped onto her back and pinched a nerve on her neck, and the weightlifter collapsed onto her stomach, in a completely relaxed state.

"Ohh… What was that?"

"Me and Katie took a summer camp in acupuncture," stated Sadie proudly. "That pressure point relaxes every single muscle in the body. Now, if you don't mind…" Sadie picked up the clam, and began to walk down the beach.

Eva growled, broiling with rage. She roared, and jumped after Sadie. The two girls grabbed the clam, pulling it back and forth. Eva wrenched it away from Sadie and held it above her head. "Ha!"

A red flash passed overhead and a blast of wind buffeted them, and suddenly Eva's hand was empty.

Zoey saluted them, sailing over beach umbrellas on a hang glider as red as her hair, clutching the jacked clam. "Sorry!" she chuckled. "Nothing personal!"

Sadie and Eva stared after her, mouths open.

* * *

The contestants in the safe zone watched a dark shape flying towards them, high in the air.

Chris shielded his eyes from the sun, smiling his trademark smile. "And it looks like we're about to discover our twenty-fifth and final winner!"

Zoey crashed her hang glider into the sand, right next to the speedboat. "Yes!" she laughed. Mike helped her to her feet and hugged her, as Brick and Cameron patted her on the back. Katie sighed and looked down.

"Nice job, campers!" congratulated Chris. "You've won our Total Drama Reunion Special Challenge! And, as promised, you have all won a fabulous prize!" He grandly gestured to a pair of interns, sleeping at a drum set. He frowned and cleared his throat. "Interns!"

They jolted awake, and one began a drum roll. Chris smiled, and turned to the campers. "A new spot in the fifth season of Total Drama!" Bursts of confetti shot into the air on either side of him, and Chef unenthusiastically blew on a party favor.

There were no cheers from the campers. They all crossed their arms and glared at Chris. One of the interns even reached into his pocket and handed the other a ten dollar bill.

* * *

Confession Cam

**Noah** Told you so.

**Leshawna** Told you so.

**Mike** Told you so.

**Lindsay** I knew it!

* * *

There was silence for a few moments. Owen broke it suddenly by laughing. "Oh, that was good. You actually had me there for a sec. Now, what are the prizes?"

"That is the prize!" said Chris cheerfully. "And what better prize is there than a spot on the newest season of… Total Drama!" He did jazz hands in the air, as if expecting this to have an effect.

"Wait, let me get this straight," said Scott. "After all the crap that you put us through, after you got me freaking _paralyzed_, you actually expect us to go back on your show?"

"Let me explain." Chris sighed, and turned to face the ocean. "During my year in prison, I had a lot of time to think. I had been so successful, so famous and well known… I was the greatest host there was! So what had I done to get to this level? How had I strayed so far as to end up nothing more than a lowly criminal? I began to rethink my life."

* * *

Confession Cam

**Leshawna** Chris? Actually showing remorse? I wouldn't have believed it myself if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes!

* * *

"So, after thinking long and hard, I finally realized what the problem with my life was, where I had made my mistake." Chris whirled around to face them. "All of the things that I had done were on land. So, I decided to move the show into international waters, where I can do illegal things without fear of retribution!"

* * *

Confession Cam

**Leshawna** I should have known.

* * *

"That's right!" Chris continued. "The new season will take place on the open sea, with challenges of the aquatic kind! As contestants, you'll have to duck, dash, sink, or swim to avoid the eliminations and win the game! And, to make things a little more nautical, your vessel will be an authentic pirate ship, pulled up from the depths of the ocean!" He gestured to the water, where a huge, rickety wooden ship drifted into view from behind the rocky cliffs of the bay. It was quite impressive, flying the skull-and-crossbones flag and bearing the words _The Jumbo Shrimp_ in peeling gold letters on its side. It sank immediately.

"Chef!" cried Chris as the contestants gasped. "Yeah, we'll have that fixed up in a minute."

"You can't seriously expect us to ride that boat?" asked Bridgette.

"Why not? It's perfectly safe. When it's afloat."

"No way. This cadet it not suffering through another season," said Brick.

"I refuse to stay anywhere near these islands," droned Alejandro.

"Dakota not want," Dakota said, sticking her nose in the air.

"Oh? Really?" Chris smirked. "Not even for…" He threw his hands in the air dramatically. "One million dollars?"

The cast continued to glare at him, unimpressed. The host frowned. "Seriously?" He took out a sheet of paper and scribbled something out. "Okay. Let's up the ante here. What if the prize was _two _million dollars?"

A couple of players' faces softened, but they quickly resumed their glares.

Chris smiled. "Oh, did that pique your interest a bit? How about this. The winner of Total Drama, season five, will be awarded… Five! Million! Dollars!"

That broke them. The crowd cheered, throwing their hands in the air.

"Sweet! Just think how many num-yos that money could buy!" said Harold.

"I could build an entire stadium!" said Tyler.

"Five million dollars?" stated Dawn, overjoyed. "Just think of how many animals that would help if donated to charity!"

* * *

Confession Cam

**Bridgette** Okay, I can't decide if I want to love that girl or be freaked out by her. Seriously! That aura-reading thing she does is creepy, but come on! Five million dollars, and the first thing she thinks of is donating it? How selfless is that?

* * *

As the cast cheered, Chris stared quizzically. "Wait.. One, two…" He did a quick head count. "Wait! We're missing somebody! There's somebody still in the game!"

The campers silenced and looked around, wondering who the last contestant would be.

"There's still one more clam in play, folks! Who will claim the final spot on the new season?"

* * *

The crowd on the roof struggled for the clam, a heavy dogpile of curses and flailing limbs. Ezekiel managed to reach above the others, holding the clam high above their heads. Sierra struggled to grab it, but she threw Ezekiel off balance, and the clam bounced away from the crowd. Sam made a dive for it, but he missed and it tumbled off the roof.

The clam bounced off of a beach umbrella, flew over Eva and Sadie as they jumped for it, and finally landed in Blaineley's lap, who was still tanning by the poolside. "Ugh!" The blonde wrinkled her nose and tossed it aside.

Nathaniel drunkenly stumbled over to the safe zone, the mop he had been using draped over his head. "Hey, does anybody know where the world went? It's making me late for my shift." The clam landed in his hands, and he blinked, dropping the mop and snapping out of his daze. "What?"

Chris stared, and then grinned and rushed over to Nathaniel. "And the final winner is this guy!"

"What?" said Nathaniel, more urgent now.

"What's your name?"

"N-Nathaniel."

"Nathaniel! You've been cast on the next season of Total Drama!"

"Wha – really? I have? That's – that's awesome! I – I'm so excited, I –"

"Yeah, yeah, stop hogging my limelight, buddy." Chris shoved Nathaniel into Mike and Zoey, and Trent quickly helped him up.

The ones who had not gotten a clam, Ezekiel, Sam, Jo, DJ, Sierra, Beth, Justin, Anne Maria, Courtney, Lightning, and Duncan, arrived, panting. "Ooh, tough luck, guys," said Chris. "Your pals just got spots in the next Total Drama season, and a chance to win five… million… dollars!"

"No way!" said Courtney.

"What?" said Lightning. "I lost? How could I lose?"

Ezekiel suddenly shook his head, and blinked rapidly. "Ohh… What happened, eh?" Courtney threw him a venomous glare, and he ducked behind Jo. "What did I do?"

"Wait a minute," said Sierra, realizing something. Then, in unison with Duncan, she said, "Cody? Alone with _Gwen?!_"

Cody threw a sheepish look in Gwen's direction, who looked down and took a step away.

"What?" Eva snarled, looking ready to burst into rage. "I lost? Three seasons, and I'm out again? I'm gonna lose it!"

"Cool it, Eva," Chris said. "You losers aren't quite out of it yet. Halfway through the season, there will be a challenge that will let a lucky one of you back onto the show. So, you might just consider this setback a shortcut to the halfway point, not an actual loss."

"I'll win it for you, Katie!" Sadie screamed, tackling her BFF. "Just make sure you last that long!"

"I will!" Katie sobbed.

"Yeah," Chris said. "Anyway, winners, speaking of winning, you may recall that I said one of the clams held a grand prize."

"Nice!" said Geoff.

"Is it nachos? Please let it be nachos," begged Owen.

"Nope! The winner of the grand clam will get a second chance to return to the game, even after their elimination! That's right! They get a second shot at winning five… million… dollars!"

The campers cheered again.

"Is it me? Tell me it's me!" Izzy cried.

"Yeah, who gets the prize, anyway?" asked Zoey.

"Like I'm gonna tell ya!" Chris laughed. "The one who found the grand prize clam won't know until they've already been eliminated. Wouldn't be dramatic otherwise, now would it?"

The contestants groaned. "Think of it as a favor," Chris said. "If I told you who won invincibility now, your fellow players might target you right away and take away your advantage. But for now, only time will tell!" Chris happily surveyed all of the contestants. "Players! Our ship leaves port at dawn. Pack your bags, and be ready for the greatest ocean voyage reality television has ever seen!"

* * *

Confession Cam

**Izzy** Yes! Izzy's gonna make five million dollars, baby! In the running for season five! And in international waters, I can do all sorts of wicked things and those RCMP creeps won't be able to do anything about it! Bwa-ha-ha-ha, Izzy rules! Anarchy!

**Mike and Zoey**

** Mike** Well! Another season! Never thought I'd say yes to that.

**Zoey **But this time, we'll actually be able to spend real quality time together. No more hiding secrets.

**Mike** True, true. And it'll even be nice, since we haven't gotten to spend much time together over the break. I don't care how bad the show is. As long as I'm with you, I'm complete. (Zoey kisses him on the cheek, and he blushes).

**Katie** (Sobbing profusely) I'm going on an ocean voyage? Without Sadie? How am I ever going to survive this? We never spend time apart! What if I get used to her not being around, and eventually forget about her? (She gasps). I'm doing a confessional without her? It's happening already! Sadie! (She bursts out of the bathroom, screaming Sadie's name).

**B** (Smiles smugly at the camera and rubs his fingers together, indicating the sign for money).

**Alejandro** Alas, another season of this. In another life, I might have cared about the money. But now, money means nothing to me. Nothing matters to me anymore. Not since I became trapped in this cold, hard prison, a meager shell of my former self. Never again shall I… Okay, this speech sounds corny even to me. I'm leaving. (Exits the bathroom).

**Noah** Oh boy, another season of unintellectual challenges that even the most brain dead of morons could complete. Am I excited? Not at all. It's going to be as pathetic and lame as always. The only difference is that it's on the ocean – (he shivers suddenly, and looks at the camera nervously). Uh, that wasn't anything. I don't have any problems with open water. No, this is going to be a complete waste of my time.

**Cameron** Oh boy, another season! To tell you the truth, I'm kind of worried. I managed to avoid life-threatening injuries last time and leave my bubble for good, but this show has a knack for injuring people. But there's always the chance of me winning! What if I won, again? That would be awesome!

**Harold** Yes! At last, my awesome skills will be put to good use! I can hold my breath underwater for 3.49 minutes. That's twenty percent longer than most humans. And I'm educating myself in the majestic language of dolphin! Check it out. (He makes a series of odd clicks and whistles. Subtitles at the bottom of the screen read _There is a hog in my pants_). I just said 'Hello. How are you? My name is Harold.' (He looks proud, but then looks down). Yeah, but I'm still sad about Leshawna. It's going to be awkward having to be on the same boat so soon after the break-up. I think she's taking it hard. Poor girl.

**Leshawna** Great! Just great! I have to spend my whole summer on a boat with that sad excuse of a string bean? After what he did to me? Ooh, he is gonna pay. No one messes with Leshawna and gets away with it!

**Dakota **(Crouching so that she can fit inside the bathroom) Dakota so happy that there new season! But sad Sam is gone. Maybe Sam will win halfway challenge and join Dakota! That be great! But luckily, my buffufa Zoey is here! (She gets up to leave, crashing through the ceiling, collapsing bathroom stalls, and walking through a wall).

**Trent** (Looking at the destroyed bathroom in awe) Okay. I get that Dakota ruined the bathroom when getting out, but how on earth did she get inside without destroying it?

**Hotel Manager** (Looks in horror at the ruined state of the bathroom, and screams).

**Owen** Whoo-hoo! Another season! I am so stoked! It's gonna be a yacht party all summer! And I'm gonna win me five million dollars! Cha-ching, baby!

**Dawn** A whole summer spent on the beautiful sea, surrounded by nature and the majestic creatures of the deep? Oh, usually I would not look very forward to entering another season, but this sounds wonderful! I'm actually quite excited!

**Gwen** Great. Stuck on a ship with Cody, and neither Duncan or Sierra are here to keep him away. (She blows a strand of hair out of her face). At least Bridgette and Leshawna will be here. They're just about the only sane people in this boatload of insanity. But hey, I might win – that wouldn't be completely terrible.

**Cody** I know Gwen's here. But seriously, I'm not going to bother her anymore. I know I was a little jealous at first, but she's with Duncan now. And I want her to be happy! Though, maybe if she spends enough time around me, she'll realize how much greater I am, and dump Duncan for the much manlier me! (He flexes his nonexistent muscles). The only thing that's worrying me is Sierra. When she realized that I was on the show alone with Gwen, she seemed to go a little over the edge. It almost reminded me of her creepy stalker-ways before she learned how to respect boundaries. I'm bummed that she's not participating this season, though hopefully chilling at that beach resort will let her realize that there's nothing to worry about.

**Geoff **Whoo-hoo! How could this get any better? Just me, my surfer babe Bridge, and the big blue! Yeah, this is gonna be an awesome summer! Whoo!

**Heather** (Examining her fingernails) So. Another season. Another shot at the big bucks. Heh heh heh. This time, I'm going all the way. No one is going to stop me now.

**Lindsay** Ooh, yay, a tropical cruise! Okay, I am so excited for this. Touring across the oceans in luxury, it's totally the kind of thing that someone like me deserves! And even better – I'll be with Taylor! Or was it Tyler. Trevor? Oh well, I'll be with him anyway!

**Brick** Finally, another chance to prove myself. After my mess-ups in my honor code last year, I'll finally be able to show that I've changed. This cadet's going to be a team player, and no man will be left behind!

**Bridgette** Wow. A season on the open water? This was made for me! I've lived on the ocean all my life. I'm sure that I can handle any marine-themed challenges that Chris throws at us. I'm actually feeling pretty confident about this season. Bring it on, Total Drama!

**Tyler** Yeah, baby! In the game for round three! This is going to rock, dude. And the wilds of the open sea will give me a great opportunity to show off my awesome skills in water sports. Guess who won the consolation prize on his swim team last year? This guy! And even better, I'll be showing off to Lindsay! I know I'm gonna win this year, guys, I can feel it! Yeah!

**Nathaniel** Wow. I'm on Total Drama? I definitely wasn't expecting that to happen! There's no way I could win. I've barely even watched the show, and some of these guys have competed in three seasons. But that doesn't mean that I can't be excited!

**Scott** (Whittling a stick into a sharp end. He looks up at the camera, a dark shadow on his face). Those other contestants have no idea what's coming to them. The show's hit a strange crossroads – for the first time, the two casts will be competing against each other. And that's ripe for the exploitation. All those who have wronged me had better watch their backs. Prepare for the full wrath of hurricane Scott!

**Staci **Yeah, I'm totally excited for the new season. And I'd say I'm totally prepared. (A low-battery symbol begins to flash in the corner of the camera). See, my great-great-great-great uncle Homer invented boats. Before that, people would hitch rides on sea turtles. And my great-great-great-great-great grandfather twice removed Mort was the first pirate. All those other pirates throughout history were just plagiarizing him. And my great-great-great (the camera runs out of batteries, and the screen goes black).

* * *

"Twenty-five teenagers. An epic voyage across the sea. One insanely huge cash prize!" Chris stood on the deck of the newly-resurrected _Jumbo Shrimp_, dressed in a pirate outfit. "That's right. This is going to be the most exciting season of Total Drama yet, as cast vs. cast in the ultimate showdown! Who will win? Who will sink? And who will swim? You won't want to miss a single moment of the action, so stay tuned, and make sure to watch Total… Drama…

"Ocean!"

The ship hit a rock, and immediately sank. "Chef!"

* * *

So, now we've got the twenty-five contestants of the new season! Love the choices? Awesome! Hate my guts? Also cool! If your favorite character didn't get in, don't worry. You will still see all the losers many times... As well as one lucky character who will get to get into the competition at the halfway point! If it makes you feel any better, several of my favorites didn't make it either, for reasons I will tell later (but can't right now at risk of spoilers).

Please leave a review, and also complain to me about any characters that you want to appear who didn't get in. Your opinions may influence who I bring back into the contest. I'll probably post a poll about this later, too.

Anywho, who are you glad about who got into the game? What would you like to see in the team dynamic? And, the most overbearing question, who do you think will win Total Drama Ocean? Next up - the competition truly begins!


	5. Episode 1, Part 1: Maiden Voyage

Disclaimer: Total Drama belongs to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, Fresh TV, and all those associated with the show. Readers prone to seasickness are urged to consult a doctor before viewing this chapter.

Woah, something I didn't think about mentioning! What kind of author would be pompous enough to let his own OC win? That's lame and predictable. Nah, no one cares about the guys I create, you came here for the real characters! Unless you really love my barely-established OC, and in that case I commend you.

Oh, and if someone reading this did make their OC win, no offense is meant, because if I had my OC win, it would be because of an overinflated ego, while you might have a different reason. I love you.

**MyHusbandToBeHisNameIsCody:** Yes, I'm excited for all-stars! Though I have to admit, I'm a little wary at the idea of splitting the season in half. Either way, though, it'll probably rock. Glad you're happy Trent's in! Thanks for the consistent reviews!

**Xebla:** I know, Sam is one of my favorites too. But don't worry - we'll be seeing a lot of him.

**agreenparrot: **Thanks for your input on the cast. At least one of more of the people you named may or may not come into the contest at some time or other possibly.

**Guest: **I tried to click on your name to go to your homepage. It did not work. Probably because you were a guest.

**Lowland Warrior: **Hey, thanks, man!

**Heroi Oscura:** Sweet! Glad you like my character!

I'd like to thank everyone for their input and reception of the chosen cast. I'd also like to say that all of the characters that didn't get on will make various appearances throughout the season, some even having their own subplots. And, of course, there will be the challenge at the halfway point to let at least one loser in the game!

* * *

**Episode 01, Part 1:**

**Maiden Voyage**

"We've taken to the air. We've taken to the land. But now, Total Drama is taking to the sea!"

Chris Maclean stood at the end of a dock, the sparkling ocean on one side and the thirty-nine contestants on the other. "Finally! It's here! The fifth season of Total Drama! During the reunion special, twenty-five of your favorite competitors won a spot in the new show. Cameron, Bridgette, Geoff, Owen, Scott, Cody, Katie, Dawn, Heather, Brick, Lindsay, Mike, Staci, Harold, Zoey, Alejandro, Izzy, Tyler, Leshawna, Noah, B, Dakota, Gwen, Trent, and some kid named Nathaniel are going to be competing for a prize of five million dollars – this time, in the wilds of the open ocean! And their vessel? Why, only an authentic pirate ship, hauled up from the depths of the sea!"

Chris gestured to the rickety wooden ship as it pulled into view. As they watched, a seagull with a six-pack soda wrapper caught around its neck landed atop the mast. The mast groaned and collapsed onto the deck, snapping the ship into two pieces that were quickly swallowed by the ocean. The twenty-five teenagers that were supposed to be riding that ship all summer gasped in horror.

"Chef!" Chris barked, and turned back to the camera. "So break out that popcorn and buckle up your life jackets, because the greatest ocean voyage of all time is about to start right here, right now, on Total… Drama… Ocean!"

_(Cut to theme song)_

* * *

_(Opening chords)_

A camera pops out of a barrel aboard the ship. A sea turtle that is swimming placidly through a coral reef suddenly has a camera pop out of its mouth. A whale rises to the surface to breathe, but instead of water, a camera is expelled out of its blowhole.

The camera flies over the heads of the non-competitors on the beach, getting closer to the ground until it nearly runs over Blaineley, who jumps out of the way to reveal Eva, who punches it off course.

_Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doing fine_

The camera soars over the ocean and onto the deck of the ship. It passes Chris, who gestures proudly at the vessel.

_You guys are on my mind_

The camera climbs up the mast, and then dives over the side and into the water.

_You asked me what I wanted to be_

Underwater, Cameron clutches to Owen as the teens scramble to get away from a pursuing shark. Owen lets loose, and the shark gags.

_And now I think the answer's plain to see_

On the surface, Geoff and Bridgette admire one another while straddling a surfboard. They cough and gag when Owen's gas bubble reaches the surface. A fishhook catches onto Geoff's trunks, and yanks him out of the shot.

_I wanna be famous!_

B's automatic fishing device, built onto the railing of the ship, catapults Geoff high into the air, his trunks falling onto B's head. Farther down the railing, Mike and Zoey peer lovingly into each other's eyes, when a tentacle wraps around Zoey and pulls her overboard. The camera flies past Mike and over the ocean.

_I want to live close to the sun_

Gwen sits in an inner tube, seemingly uninterested at the world as she jots in her sketchbook. Behind her, Harold and Leshawna sit on opposite sides of a lifeboat, refusing to meet eyes. Geoff smashes through the bottom of the boat, knocking them underwater.

_Go pack your bags 'cause I've already won_

Underwater, several campers are scuba diving. Lindsay giggles as Tyler flexes for her on the seafloor, until the ship's anchor suddenly crushes him.

_Everything to prove, nothing in my way_

Scott, Trent, and Brick hold desperately to the bars of a shark cage as a shark rams it repeatedly, trying to get to them.

_I'll get there one day_

Katie has dressed a manatee like Sadie, even giving it an identical wig. She looks pleased, but the mammal darts away, leaving Sadie's empty outfit behind, making Katie droop.

_Cause I wanna be famous!_

Dawn sits on an undersea rock, meditating as coral polyps sway and tropical fish flit around her.

_(Musical interlude)_

The camera flies for the surface, nearly running into Heather and Alejandro, getting temporarily blinded by the sun as it breaks.

_Na na na na na na_

A seagull with a six-pack wrapper caught around its neck sits on the top of the water. A pink tentacle suddenly pulls it under.

_Na na na na na na na na na na na_

The camera pans right, revealing Dakota wrestling with a giant squid at the surface, which has Zoey, Staci, and Nathaniel in its grasp. The squid lifts the seagull and begins to beat Dakota with it.

_I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous!_

Noah looks nervously over the edge of the ship, gulps, and walks the opposite way.

_I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous!_

The camera looks up to the sun, which morphs into the moon, and down onto the deck of the ship, where Sierra leans eagerly towards Cody, who looks down in exasperation. Izzy drops into the shot, hanging upside-down from a rope, grabs Cody, and pulls him back up.

_(Whistling)_

As Sierra stares up in shock, the camera pulls out to reveal the rest of the cast, whistling on the risers on the ship's deck. A flag that reads _Total Drama Ocean_ flaps above their heads.

* * *

"Welcome back," said Chris, as Chef hammered in the last nail on the mast of the recently reconstructed ship behind him. "Our contestants are packed and eager, and our ship is ready to board!" A gangplank landed on the dock. "First up – Trent!"

Trent walked up, his trademark relaxed smile on his face, guitar strapped to his back. "Hey, Chris. Nice to be on the show again. But, uh, are you sure this vessel's seaworthy?"

Chris' eyes bulged, and the host erupted in laughter, slapping his knee and wiping the tears from his eyes. He appeared to be trying to say something, but Trent held up a hand. "On second thought, I'd rather not hear the answer to that." The musician walked up the gangplank as Chris got a hold of himself.

"Ah, classic. Next is Harold!"

Harold strolled out of the crowd, looking in awe up at the ship. "Woah. This ship is so… awesome. I'm never seen a real pirate ship before. It's just so… Gosh."

"Thank you, Harold," said Chris. "I'm glad somebody appreciates it."

"Though it appears to be in slightly bad condition. The shrouds are all off, and the mizzenmast's crooked. And –"

"Get on the ship, Harold," Chris growled. The redhead grinned sheepishly and complied. "Next is Lindsay!"

The golden-haired beauty walked aboard the ship, smiling and waving at the camera. "Hi, I'm so happy to be here! I haven't been on a cruise for at least a month, and I'm seriously overdue for another one."

"Hey, whatever way you want to think of it," said Chris. "And here's Leshawna –"

He grunted as the large girl punched him into the water, seething as she stomped up the gangplank. "So not in the mood for this."

Chris broke the surface and spit out water. "Hey! What was that for?"

Leshawna reached the deck of the ship and crossed her arms, glaring forward. Harold waved at her sheepishly. "WHAT ARE YOU LOOKIN' AT, SCRAWNY?"

"Sheesh, what's her problem?" Chris said, shaking his hair dry as he climbed back on the dock.

"Sometimes break-ups can be hard," said Bridgette, looking up worriedly at her recently single friend.

"And here's Bridgette," said Chris, "our resident soul surfer, who's probably thinking that she'll be right at home with the new season, but will immediately regret it once she finds out all of the horrible challenges we have planned."

"Gee. Thanks," said Bridgette. However, she smiled and gripped her surfboard more tightly as she walked up the gangplank.

"Ooh! Ooh! Me next!" Owen charged up to Chris, shivering as he struggled to contain his excitement. "Do me! Do me!"

"Owen!" said Chris, grinning widely. "Back for round five!"

"Yeah! Whoo-hoo! I'm so stoked! I'm gonna win me some big bucks, baby! Yeah!" Owen ran up the gangplank, but fell through, leaving an Owen-sized hole in the ramp.

"Owen! Not the gangplank!" Chris moaned. "Chef!"

Owen pulled himself back onto the dock, sopping. "Oops. Sorry, Chris. Heh heh." He walked back up the gangplank, skirting around the hole he had made. Glaring at the large boy, Chef nailed a thin slab of wood over the broken area.

"Gwen," said Chris, turning back to the contestants.

In the crowd, Gwen simply sighed. "Let's just get this over with." She squeezed Duncan. "Oh, I so don't want to go back on this show."

"Yeah, well, you could've always given your clam to me," shrugged Duncan. "I wouldn't have minded a shot at five million big ones."

"Oh, you're always the sentimental one, aren't you?" Gwen playfully poked his nose. Courtney scoffed at this, and DJ put a hand on her shoulder assuringly.

"Go get 'em, babe," said Duncan. They shared a quick kiss, and Gwen sulked onto the ship.

"Noah," said Chris.

The brainiac looked at the ship and frowned. "This is it?"

"You like?"

"We're all going to be dead by day's end."

Chris laughed. "I know, I love it!" Noah was standing at the base of the gangplank, shivering slightly. "Well? What are you waiting for? Get on!"

"You know, I think I'll give my spot to someone else." Noah turned to go, but Chris grabbed his shoulder.

"Not so fast. You already signed your contract for this season. You don't have a choice."

"Pssh, whatever." Noah brushed away Chris' hand, and took a tentative step onto the gangplank.

The surf rolled placidly underneath him, as he cautiously peered down. He spotted a flicker of movement in his peripheral vision, and turned his head just in time to see a long, sparkly, green tail flip underneath the waves. Noah stared, aghast.

"Um, hello? We've kind of got a show to do, more contestants to introduce, so let's get a move on!" Chris was tapping his foot.

Noah blinked, rolled his eyes, and walked onto the ship. "Whatever."

"And next – Heather." Chris grinned at the Japanese girl's exasperated expression as she stared at their ship.

"Come on, Chris, do we really have to go through a new season of this? You might as well just hand me the money right now."

"Oh, but Heather, do you really expect us to skip out on all of the drama you give us?" asked Chris.

"Well, I guess I am what draws in the ratings," Heather said, ever modest. "Very well, fair enough." She walked up the gangplank.

"And the only one whose wickedness could possibly match that of Heather's – Alejandro!" cheered Chris, as the Latino-turned-robot rolled to the base of the gangplank. "How goes it, Al? Excited for the new season?"

Alejandro turned to face Chris, soulless mask-eyes burning into the host's features. "Excited? Excited about going onto another season of the show that ruined my life? Excited about being so near to the very place in which I was condemned to this horrific metal prison? Excited about being forced to remain on a floating deathtrap with a large crowd of people who absolutely despise me? No, Chris. I am many things right now, but I am definitely not excited."

Chris stared at the former hunk, and then flashed a grin. "Cool! Your destination is that way, bro." Alejandro rolled up the gangplank. "Anywho, next is Tyler!"

"All right! Awesome!" Tyler sprinted up the gangplank, but the thin slab of wood covering Owen's hole snapped as he stepped on it, dropping the jock into the ocean. The crowd let out a collective "Ooh."

"Chef!" shouted Chris. Muttering under his breath, Chef nailed another slab of wood over the hole in the gangplank.

"And our next contestant is Izzy!" said Chris.

"Hm? Ooh ooh ooh, that's me!" Izzy sprinted up the gangplank, knocking Tyler, who had just crawled onto the dock, back into the water, and arrived on the ship's deck. "This is so much fun, huh guys?" She leapt into Trent's arms, who was closest. "Aren't you so excited for this?"

"Uh, yeah. Sure," said Trent. "Uh, can you get down now?"

"Next up is Cody," said Chris, as a wet and bedraggled Tyler finally managed to trudge up the gangplank.

Cody pointed and winked at Chris, and began to strut towards the ship. However, Duncan and Sierra pulled him back.

"Listen, dorkus," Duncan said, jamming a finger in Cody's face. "I know you have the hots for my girl. But if she comes back and tells me that you so much as laid a finger on her, you're dead. Got that?"

"As much as I dislike Duncan's approach, I'm telling you, Cody, you must resist Gwen!" said Sierra. "After all my hard work winning you over – I mean, becoming your friend - I can't lose you to that wicked goth again!"

"Guys, guys, easy," said Cody, smiling in a non-threatening manner. "I'm not going to chase Gwen anymore. I know I was a bit jealous at first, but I want Gwen to be happy. And right now, Duncan, she's happy being with you! And as long as she's good, I'm good. And Sierra, you have nothing to worry about."

Duncan frowned, but seemed content by the geek's answer. "All right. But you've been warned."

"I'm going to miss you, Cody-kins!" Sierra wailed, grasping him tightly. Cody patted her comfortingly, trying to breathe, and then managed to break free and walk to the gangplank.

However, Sierra crumbled and rushed after him. "Wait! Cody! I need another hug!" The superfan was caught by Chef, who carried her back down the dock. "Or a kiss? How about just a little kiss? Cody, no!"

Cody looked concerned at Sierra's reversion of behavior, and timidly walked onto the ship.

"And next is Katie!" Chris stood with a flourish to the crowd, but no one walked out. "Katie?"

"No! I can't leave without Sadie!" The BFFs were clutching each other as if their lives depended on it.

"You can't do this to us!" Sadie wailed.

"Oh, for the love of –" Chris slapped his palm to his forehead. "You two virtually spend every waking moment of your lives together! A couple weeks apart isn't going to kill you! In fact, it'll probably be better for your mental health! Seriously! You need to make new friends, or whatever trash it is that kids do these days! Chef!"

"Darn, stupid, have to do everything…" Chef mumbled to himself as he pulled Katie and Sadie apart, dragging Sadie away.

"No! I'll miss you, Katie!" Sadie bawled, as she was dragged down the dock.

"I'll miss you, too!" Katie collapsed, crying on Ezekiel's shoes. The prairie boy looked unsure of what to do about the situation.

Katie felt someone pat her shoulder, and looked up to see a figure wearing a loud pink shirt and a cowboy hat smiling encouragingly and extending a hand to her. "Care to walk me to the ship?" asked Geoff.

Katie sniveled, took Geoff's hand, and allowed herself to be pulled to her feet and walked to the boat. "And here's Geoff," said Chris. "Here to bring the party!"

"Boo-yah!" Geoff cried, pumping his fist into the air. "You know it, dude! I'm pumped to make this voyage awesome!"

"I'm pumped to make you totally eat those words!" said Chris, with equal enthusiasm.

"Awesome, man! Then it's on!" Geoff jovially high-fived the host, and then walked up the gangplank, gently pulling sobbing Katie along.

"And finally, please welcome… Nathaniel!"

"Yeah!" Nathaniel hopped to the dock. Now changed out of his employee's uniform, the brown-haired college kid wore a t-shirt with a wave motif, blue-and-white checkered shorts, and a white shell necklace. "I am so pumped! This is going to be awesome!"

"That's right!" smiled Chris. "We're introducing a new contestant! So, Nathaniel." He turned to the boy. "How does it feel to have a spot on your favorite reality show?"

"Oh, awesome!" said Nathaniel. "Though, to be truthful, I'm never really watched the show."

Chris froze, stone-faced. "You haven't seen the show? But… how could you not have seen the show? Everyone loves this show! I'm on it!"

Nathaniel shrugged. "I don't have anything against it. I just haven't gotten around to watching it, I guess."

Chris shook his head, not quite able to grasp that there was someone who didn't care about a television show that he starred in. "Okay… Anyway, Nathaniel, what are some of your quirks or personality traits? What stereotype do you fall into? What really makes you tick?"

"Oh, well… I don't really know," admitted Nathaniel. "I never really thought about that. I like hanging out with friends, I guess. Chilling at the beach. Playing, uh… piano. You know."

Chris stared, and then rounded upon Nathaniel, jamming a sweating finger into his face. "Why are you here? You're not reality TV material! You're boring! Who let you on the show, anyway?"

"You did," said Nathaniel, irritated. "I accidentally caught a clam and you made a last-second decision to allow me on the show to create a plot twist and make more drama."

"Whatever! Just get on the boat!" Chris said, looking away. Nathaniel angrily trudged onto the ship, his earlier pep all but vanished.

"Don't sweat it, man," Cody said, patting Nathaniel on the back. "He treats all of us that way."

"But don't think that's all!" Chris was saying enthusiastically. "We're not even nearly done yet! That's because, for the first time in Total Drama history, both casts will be competing against each other for the prize! So please welcome our first contestant from the second generation cast: Brick!"

"Brick McArthur, reporting for duty," said Brick, saluting Chris.

"Yeah, yeah, we all know the whole military routine." Chris waved in a bored sort of fashion. "Just get on board, soldier boy."

"Gladly, sir!" Brick ran up the gangplank and shook hands with Owen and Tyler. "Honored to be participating with you, gentlemen – and women." He kneeled and kissed Leshawna's hand, who giggled a little despite herself. "I hope that we can all get along, regardless of which team we're on."

"Dawn," said Chris. As no one walked out, he frowned. "I said Dawn."

"Hmm? Yes?" An airy voice came from the deck above, and everyone, Chris included, cried out in surprise to see that Dawn was already perched on the rail of the ship, legs crossed in a meditative position. No one had seen her get on board, despite the fact that she was only a few feet from the nearest contestants. Heather, who was closest, fell to the deck in surprise; Alejandro wavered and fainted, landing on top of her.

"Ow! Alejandro, get off!"

Chris was visibly shaken. "How… How'd you…"

"How'd I get up here? Oh." Dawn smiled placidly. "I was excited to take off, so I boarded when no one was looking. I didn't mean to spook anybody." She abruptly turned to Nathaniel, and put a hand on his cheek. "Your aura looks rather greenish-blue today!"

Nathaniel's eyes darted around nervously. "I'm… not really sure how to respond to that."

"Anyway, after that vile attempt to give us all heart attacks, here's Mike and Zoey!" Chris gestured to the couple, who were holding hands and beaming. "How's about it, guys? Looking forward to the new season?"

"Oh, definitely," said Zoey, gazing into Mike's eyes.

"Now we get a whole season to spend together," said Mike, moving his face closer to Zoey's. "With nothing to come between us."

"Buffufa!" Dakota yanked Zoey off her feet and into a bone-crushing hug. "Dakota so glad we on another season together! We gonna do so many buffufa things, like braid hair, and have slumber parties, and talk about feelings, and braid hair, and be the best buffufas ever!"

"H-hey, Dakota," said Sam, walking out of the crowd in front of her, pulling his nose out of the Nintendo DS he was holding. "I'm gonna miss you."

"Sam!" Dakota squealed in glee, throwing Zoey over her shoulder (Zoey!" Mike screamed, running after her) and scooping Sam up in a bear hug. The gamer groaned as his DS fell fifteen feet to the ground. "Dakota gonna miss you so much!"

"Dakota, your ship is waiting," Chris smiled.

Dakota sniffled. "Bye, Sam."

"Bye, Dakota." Sam managed a smile. "I'll be rooting for you."

"Okay!" Dakota abruptly dropped Sam, who grunted as he hit the ground, but grinned as he saw his DS in front of him, still intact – until Dakota crushed it underfoot. He sighed.

"B," said Chris, as the large African-Canadian boy walked out of the crowd. B spotted Sam, helped the gamer up, and looked over the broken electronic. After a few moments' study, he whipped out a pocketknife-type object, with dozens of mini-tools sticking out from it, and dove upon the handheld. Within seconds, he held out the good-as-new video game console to Sam.

"Woah! Awesome! Thanks, man!"

"Hey! B! We have a schedule to stick to here, and we can't afford for you to dawdle around!" Chris snatched the DS and threw it into the sea.

Sam sighed. "Aw, man."

"Now get on the boat and quit being so selfish!" Chris said. B patted Sam sympathetically and walked up the gangplank.

"All right," said Chris, as an overweight girl dressed in pink walked up. "Next is Stac –"

Mike and Zoey ran onto the dock, panting. "It's okay," said Mike. "I got her."

"Hey!" snapped Chris. "You two already had your introduction! Quit trying to hog the limelight!" He pushed them off of the deck and into the water.

"You know, my great-great-great-great aunt Elva invented stage lights," said Staci, swelling with pride. "If it wasn't for her, the phrase 'hogging the limelight' wouldn't make much sense."

Chris frowned, and pushed her into the water as well. "Man. That is satisfying!"

Mike spluttered as he grabbed for the dock, when someone grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the water. He shook the water out of his hair, and looked in surprise at who had helped him. "Scott?"

"Yeah, yeah, I know, I'm helping you, big surprise," Scott said, pulling Staci onto the dock, who likewise stared at him incredulously. As he reached for Zoey, she splashed away.

"No! Get away from me, Scott!"

"Come on, I'm trying to help you!"

"No way. I know you're up to something, and I'm not going to fall for your tricks again!"

"Zoey, he was just trying to get you out of the water," said Mike, kneeling to help her.

"I don't care!" she said, crawling onto the dock. "He made my stay miserable on the island! He's obviously up to something already!"

"Zoey, please." Scott offered a hand, which she swatted away. "I did some bad things, but… I'm hoping you'll accept my apology. You saw what my deeds led to last time. I'm hoping to do what I can to change so that nothing like that happens again."

"Well you'll have to do a lot better than that," snapped Zoey, while Scott calmly eyed her with his usual sly grin. "Because I am not going to fall for your tricks again." She pushed past him, Mike and Staci following her and throwing curious glances at Scott.

"Scott!" said Chris. "Man, is it good to have you back on the show! We got such great ratings from you and that shark last time, and now you're willingly going on the ocean, where every single non-mutated shark in the world resides! Man, just think of the state you'll be in at the end of this season!"

Half of the contestants expected Scott to punch Chris out right then and there, but Scott kept his calm, sly smile. "I'm happy to be back too, Chris. Perhaps I can change things up this time." Chris scratched his head as Scott walked up the gangplank.

Katie was huddled in a ball at the railing, as Geoff and Bridgette attempted to keep her calm. "There, there," said Bridgette, rubbing her back. "You're going to be fine."

"No. No, I can't take it anymore. I need Sadie!" Katie said.

"Oh man, I think she's gonna blow!" said Geoff. Katie shot for the gangplank, screaming for Sadie, when she tripped over Owen's foot and fell towards the person boarding the ship – Scott.

Scott saw her coming, and grabbed her just in time. "Oh – s-sorry!" Katie stuttered, backing away.

"No problem," said Scott. "There was no harm done."

Katie was surprised. "But… I thought you were really mean."

"That was the old me," said Scott. "But, after that ended up getting me paralyzed, I've decided to… turn a bit of a new leaf. No more nasty Scott."

"Oh. Well, that's cool!" said Katie, putting a hand on his arm. "I'm proud of you!"

"And last but not least, is our most recent winner, Cameron!" Chris said.

Cameron waved at the camera, but looked concerned at the ship. "Chris, this ship is in no state to be riding. It could collapse on us at any moment."

"Yeah, like you know anything about ships," said Chris.

"I spent an entire year in my bubble reading about nautical vessels. And this is the least seaworthy vessel I have ever laid eyes on."

"If you really want to be a pansy and chicken out, then go ahead," said Chris. "Oh, wait! You can't! Because you signed a contract! Now get on board!"

"Oh, the things I do for this show," Cameron moaned, walking onto the ship.

"And that's everyone!" said Chris, following Cameron up the gangplank. He faced the twenty-five teenagers gathered on the main deck. "Contestants! Your ocean voyage to win five million dollars begins now!"

With a mighty _WOOSH_, the sails unfurled, billowing as they caught the wind. Creaking audibly, the ancient wooden vessel began to move through the water, starting slowly but gathering speed. The contestants leaned over the railing, waving at their friends who were staying behind.

"Bye, Sadie! I'll never forget you!" sobbed Katie.

"I'll hold you in my heart!" Sadie cried.

"Cody! Remember me!" called Sierra.

"Good luck, babe! Win 'em for me!" said Duncan.

"Chef!" Chris shouted to Chef, who was still on the dock. "Christen our ship, if you please!"

His face emotionless, Chef hurtled a champagne bottle at the ship. It ripped right through the wooden hull, and water began to spew into the vessel. The contestants leapt off of the deck and into the sea as the ship sank.

"Oops," said Chef.

* * *

"And after some slight mechanical difficulties, we're back!" said Chris, standing on the deck of the ship. Behind him, the contestants were still toweling themselves off, puddles of water collecting at their feet. The ship was moving away from the dock, the beach and the remaining cast members still in swimming distance but quickly getting farther away. Chef was at the wheel, wearing a flamboyant pirate's hat. He did not look pleased.

"Ready, competitors?" said Chris, turning to the angry-looking contestants. "Our first challenge will begin posthaste, but first, a tour is in order! Follow me!"

As the crowd followed him down the dock, Bridgette and Gwen walked up on either side of Leshawna, who was looking down. "Hey, Leshawna," said Bridgette.

"How are you feeling?" asked Gwen.

"Oh, thanks girls, I'm doing fine," Leshawna replied. "Just a little down, that's all. Can't believe that scrawny geek broke up with me. The nerve!"

"But I thought you wanted to break up with him," said Bridgette.

"Well – I did! But I was supposed to be the one breaking up with him, not the other way around! That kid's supposed to be obsessed with me, begging me to take him back! How dare he treat me like this!"

"Look, I know you're mad," said Gwen, "but were you two even really going out?"

"Yes!" she snapped. "M-maybe. It was kind of an implied relationship."

"Trent man, isn't this awesome?" Geoff crowed, falling in step with Trent at the back of the group. "A whole summer on the big blue! We get to chill out with our friends, we'll get to surf and scuba dive, it'll be like a free vacation – only where one of us gets to win five million bucks! And just think of all the babes in bikinis. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. There are plenty of ladies who are still single!" He nudged Trent in the side with a sly grin.

"Yeah, whatever you say, man," Trent replied, not really paying attention.

"Trent. Is something wrong? You don't seem as chill as usual."

"What? Oh, no!" Trent suddenly forced a large grin, looking excitedly at Geoff. "No, I'm doing great! I'm totally pumped for this new season, like what you said, man! Now, come on, the others are leaving us behind." Trent went to catch up with the group, leaving Geoff to scratch his head quizzically.

"Our mighty vessel, _The Jumbo Shrimp_, is an authentic pirate ship pulled from the depths of the big blue and renovated for use on our show," Chris was saying. "In fact, this ship was the very ship sailed by the most feared and ruthless pirate ever to roam the seven seas: Deathbeard!"

"Deathbeard?" Heather droned, raising an eyebrow.

"This is Deathbeard's ship?" Harold cried. "_The _Deathbeard? He was the most infamous pirate ever known! Sweet!"

"Nobody cares what you have to say, so shut your pie hole!" Leshawna snarled, prompting Harold to duck behind the largest thing he could find, which was Owen.

"What both of you say is true," said Chris. "Deathbeard was the most notorious pirate of the area. But it gets even more exciting. Rumor has it that Deathbeard had his vast stores of treasure hidden somewhere in these waters. Yet, despite centuries of searching, it has never been found. But anyone who would manage to find his treasure would be the richest man alive! Untold billions of dollars, which would make our five million dollar prize seem little more than a child's allowance!"

Many of the campers stared at Chris with great interest, their inner desire for adventure awakened by the tales of sunken treasure. "Nice! Lost pirate treasure! Just another reason to look forward to this competition, right, guys?" said Nathaniel.

"That's the spirit, new guy!" Owen heartily slapped Nathaniel on the back, accidentally sending him sprawling. "Oops… sorry."

As Chris led them to the stern of the ship, near the stairs that led up to the wheel, he pointed to a door built into the wooden wall. "Beyond this door you will find the ship's head, otherwise known as a lavatory. It is within this magical room that you will once again find the confessional."

* * *

Confession Cam – A small wooden bathroom with a toilet seat for a chair.

**Noah** Okay… I'll admit it. I may be… somewhat intimidated by open water. I'm fine near the shore – that's how I participated in the cliff diving challenges at Camp Wawanakwa and in Jamaica. But open water with no end and no land or bottom in sight makes me a bit… nervous. Don't judge me! It's a primal fear encoded into my DNA. I can't control it.

**Scott** Heh. I'm not _really_ trying to be a nicer guy. It's all a ploy, you see. I have a plan that is absolutely foolproof! It will simultaneously get rid of the biggest competition, guarantee me the prize, and dish out some much-deserved revenge against the fools who dared to laugh at me in my weakest moment!

**Cody** Okay, people, just to set the record straight here. I was serious when I said that I wasn't going to bother Gwen anymore. Yes, I still like her. A lot. (He sighs, and stares dreamily into the distance for a few moments, before snapping back to reality.) But she likes Duncan. And, as long as Gwen's happy, I'm going to respect her wishes. Besides, there's still plenty of single ladies here. (He licks his finger and rubs it across his eyebrows, before wiggling them seductively.)

**Scott **I mean, they laughed at me! Seriously, they laughed at me! What kind of person would laugh at someone who was paralyzed? Yeah, I know I acted like a jerk, but isn't that a little overkill?! People say I'm nasty, but even I wouldn't laugh at someone who got freaking paralyzed!

**Nathaniel** Is it just me, or has this show ruined a lot of lives? Ezekiel went feral, Dakota became mutated, Scott was paralyzed, Alejandro was put in the drama machine… (He begins to tick them off his fingers.) Cody was mauled by a bear, Sierra got caught in a plane explosion, Blaineley wound up in a full body cast, Heather went bald…

**Scott** (Rocking back and forth on the toilet and crying) Waaah! Why? Oh, why? Why did this have to happen to me? Oh, I'm so lonely!

**Geoff** I'm worried about Trent. Something seems to be seriously bugging him. I want to help him, but I'm not totally sure how to handle the situation.

**Scott** (Stone-faced, glaring at the camera) They're all going to pay.

* * *

Chris was leading the group through the musty bowels of the ship, as the wood creaked and the contestants cast nervous glances at the walls, expecting the ancient vessel to cave in upon them at any moment. "And down here," Chris said, "are your quarters, where you will be spending the next ten weeks, in the lap of luxury!" He pushed aside a door, revealing a dark, wooden room, completely bare with the exception of fourteen uncomfortable-looking rope hammocks strung from the ceiling. The space was very damp, and moisture leaked profusely from the ceiling, leaving the wood spongy and malleable underfoot.

"You've got to be joking," said Heather.

"We spared no expense," said Chris proudly. "This here's the boy's room, while the girl's is down the hall. Drop your stuff off now, and you'll be given time after the rest of the tour to unpack and claw each other's eyes out for who sleeps where. Come along!"

* * *

Chris led them back up to the top deck, and to a small set of risers set up in the middle. "And it is here that you will experience the dreaded, suspense-inducing elimination ceremonies. After each challenge, the losing team will have to vote someone out amongst themselves." Chris picked up a bucket at the base of the risers. "One by one, I will give each of you a symbol of immunity, until only one of you remains."

"Ooh! What's the immunity? Marshmallows? Peanuts? Chocolate? Pizza?" Owen was almost beside himself in eagerness.

Chris laughed. "Nope! To go along with our nautical theme, immunity will be given by way of cod, in face! Like so!" Chris pulled a fish out of the bucket and hurtled it at B's face, where it made contact with a wet slap.

"Ah, nothing like a good old fish-slap," said Chris. "The one individual who is unlucky enough to not get a cod has been voted out by his team, and is out of the game. And they can't come back. Ever." Chris pointed to a wooden plank, sticking out from the side of the ship. "That loser must walk the plank of shame, and endure the absolutely sucktacular swim of losers, all the way back to shore. Depending on the challenge that day, we may be anchored close to land, or be miles away from any solid ground whatsoever. If you happen to be eliminated on one of those days, well, ha-ha, that sure stinks for you!"

"Um, Chris?" said Nathaniel. "I don't think all of us are in the right physical condition for a swim like that." He looked pointedly at Owen's gut.

"Don't worry, we thought of that," said Chris. "So we got floaties!" He lifted up a small yellow inner tube, with an inflatable duck head popping out of one side. "Since we at Total Drama care deeply for your health and safety, we are issuing inner tubes at each elimination, which should supply the contestant with all he or she needs for a swim across the ocean. No need to thank us."

"That wasn't exactly what came to mind," Nathaniel murmured.

"Now, you may have noticed that we have a larger cast than usual this year," Chris continued. "Because of this, I am happy to inform you that we will have a handful of spontaneous _double_ eliminations, scattered throughout the season!"

The contestants groaned at this piece of news.

"That's right! On a double elimination night, the contestants who have racked up the two highest amounts of votes will both be kicked off! No mercy included!"

"Will we at least know when the doubles are going to happen?" asked Mike. "So we can plan for them?"

"Nope! You won't know if an elimination's a double until both contestants have already been kicked out!" More groans. "Ah, music to my ears. Well, that's all the important stuff! Go unpack your bags, and meet in the galley in one hour for your first challenge!"

* * *

"Whoo! It's gonna be a party!" Geoff kicked open the door to the boy's quarters and charged in, with the rest of the dudes in tow.

"Yeah, right?" said Tyler. "This one's mine!" The sporto leapt into a hammock, immediately becoming tangled within the ropes. "Uh… Could somebody give me a hand?"

Mike, Cameron, and Brick found three hammocks in a row so that they could hang together.

"Ooh! Hey! Noah, buddy!" Owen called to the brainiac, who was selecting a hammock tucked in a corner, secluded from the others. "There's an open spot right here, next to my hammock!" Owen pointed to an empty hammock, and then sat in his own, which snapped and fell to the floor. "Aw, man."

Noah rolled his eyes, but complied.

Nathaniel and Trent were unpacking their things at their hammocks, which were next to each other. "So your name's Nathaniel, right?" asked Trent.

"Yeah! And you're Trent, correct?"

"Yeah, man. Nice to meet you." They shook hands.

B reclined in his hammock, sighing contentedly. Harold reached for a hammock, but looked up when somebody laid hands on the ropes at the same time – Scott.

"You!" cried Harold. "I have been warned about you. I don't want to have to hurt you, but I will unleash my mad jujitsu skills if I must!"

"No worries," said Scott calmly. "If you want this spot, you can have it. I'll choose a different hammock."

"Huh?" Harold scratched his head as Scott departed peacefully.

"Dudes!" said Geoff, wobbling as he stood on top of his hammock. "I proclaim that this summer will be one, huge, insanely gigantic party! And it will be the greatest party that has ever existed!"

The boys whooped and cheered in agreement. A shadow fell through the doorway, silencing their celebration.

Alejandro hulked in the door, completely motionless, the only noise that could be heard the rhythmic inhaling of his breathing apparatus.

"Hey, Alejandro, heh heh," chuckled Cody. "There's still an open hammock in here if you want."

Alejandro gave no sign of life at first besides his low, rhythmic breathing. Finally, his head turned, looking towards the girl's room, and he rolled down the hallway without another word.

There was awkward silence for a few moments in the boys' room. Cody then zipped open his duffel bag and pulled out several six-packs of pop. "Hey, guys! Check what I smuggled on board!"

The cheers and celebration quickly resumed.

* * *

Lindsay burst open the door to the girl's room, and squealed at what she saw. "Eee, there's a window! I call the bed next to the window!" She rushed to the small porthole, peering out at the ocean around them. "Huh. I wonder why everything's so blue?" After a moment, she gasped. "Oh no! The sky must have fallen!"

"No, Lindsay, we're just underwater," said Bridgette, smiling.

Lindsay looked perplexed. "But then… how are we breathing?"

"No, Lindsay. The ship has air in it. You can just use the porthole to look out at the ocean."

"Oh. Cool!" The attractive blonde turned back to the porthole, where a large remora-like fish had attached itself, sucking on the glass. "Aw, guys, look at this adorable fish! It's like our own little aquarium!"

Katie skirted around Dawn, who was hanging upside-down from the ceiling as she peacefully meditated, and reclined in a hammock. A shadow fell over her, and she opened her eyes to see Heather's deep frown. "Get out. You're in my bed."

Immediately, Katie leapt out of the hammock. "But… But I had it first…"

"I don't care if you had it first. I want this hammock, so I get it."

"Oh… uh, okay." Katie backed away. "Sure thing, Heather."

"Oh, no, no, wait just a minute," said Leshawna, grabbing Katie's shoulder. "Now what in the world makes you think that you can just take her spot?"

"It's okay, really," Katie stuttered, with the look of a frightened puppy. "I don't want to cause any trouble."

"Easy," said Heather. "I'm pretty. I'm popular. She's not. I deserve it."

Katie let out a strangled sob, and Leshawna looked enraged. "Excuse me? Do you like your limbs angled the way they are?"

"You better watch it, Heather," said Gwen, walking up.

"Woah! Guys!" Bridgette rushed in between them. "We haven't even been on the boat for an hour. Do you really want to start a fight already? Heather, why do you want this hammock?"

"Because it's closest to the door," said the queen bee, with a flip of her hair that told them they were inferior to her. "I want the easiest access in and out of the room. It's that simple."

"Well you should have gotten here first if you wanted this bed, but you didn't, so it doesn't belong to you!" Leshawna shoved her fist in Heather's face. "Now unless you don't value your teeth, you back off!"

Heather recalled the incident in Germany, and decided that the uncomfortable old hammock wasn't worth the effort. "Fine. Whatever. As if I care that much about a stupid hammock," she said, strutting off.

"Thanks, guys," said Katie. "You really helped me out there."

"Don't sweat it, sister." Leshawna fist-bumped her. "If that hag gives you any trouble, just leave it to me."

Zoey was contentedly unpacking her bag when a huge, orange hand wrapped around her waist, and she was pulled into a crushing hug by Dakota.

"Hi, buffufa!" snorted the mutant jollily, crouched low in the room so that she wouldn't hit the ceiling. "We gonna have so much fun together! We can sleep together every night, and have pillow fights, it'll be like a big slumber party!"

Zoey struggled to break out of the suffocating grasp. "Urg… Yes… Dakota… Can you please let go?"

Dakota's face sunk. "What wrong? Zoey no excited for slumber party with Dakota?" She burst into tears. "Oh, buffufa not like Dakota!"

"Uh, I don't think it's so much that she doesn't like you, than that she has to breathe," said Gwen.

"Huh? Oh!" Dakota released Zoey, who put her hands on her knees and gasped. "Sorry, buffufa."

Zoey put a hand on Gwen's shoulder. "Thanks," she panted. "But you could have stepped in a little sooner."

"Yeah, well, we'll just say we're even for that elevator incident."

"Touche."

"So Zoey still like me?" asked Dakota.

"Of course!" Izzy flipped through the air and landed on Dakota's shoulder. "Everybody likes giant monster girl!"

Dakota sniffled. "Really?"

"My great-great cousin twice removed invented giant monster girls," Staci informed them. "Before that, people had to… uh… yeah, I don't really know where I was going with that one."

Dawn suddenly gasped, startling the others. "Oh, no! I sense a sorrowful aura!"

Alejandro rolled past their door, not even sparing the girls' room a glance.

"Hey – Alejandro, what do you think you're going?" Heather snapped. "Hey! You don't ignore me!" She raced after him.

* * *

"What are you doing down here?" Heather whined. She had followed Alejandro even deeper into the depths of the ship, where puddles collected on the floor and the walls had a bluish hue. "This place is so groaty that even Chris wouldn't send us down here." Alejandro ripped open a crate from a large pile of supplies, taking out the wooden planks inside. "Um, hello? In case you didn't care to pay attention, your girlfriend is talking to you!"

"I am creating my own quarters," buzzed Alejandro, in a low, metallic rumble. "I am not going to room with those worms."

"What?" Heather stamped her foot on the floor. "Urg! You mean you're sleeping down here? What is wrong with you, Al?"

"How many times do I have to tell you not to call me by that name?" Alejandro was tearing open the rest of the crates, finding more planks, metal poles, and other supplies.

"You're such an embarrassment to me! Why can't you stop acting so pathetic and show some backbone for once?"

"I do not wish to bed with so many who despise me," Alejandro rumbled, beginning to put together some kind of structure. "I am perhaps the most hated contestant on the show. Maybe even more so than you."

"Gee. Thanks." Heather blew a strand of hair out of her face. "But I'm being strong, and putting up with it. And you're the only who can support me. So get your metal butt up there and stop being so ridiculous!"

"I refuse."

"Argh! I am so sick of this!"

"Why would you ask me to put up with such abuse?" Alejandro asked, looking at her. "Even now, as we speak, they are probably talking amongst themselves about how much they despise me!"

* * *

"Yeah! Party! Geoff screamed, before fainting backwards onto the floor. The boy's quarters was full of whoops and hollers, as the campers partied and danced. Brick had brought a stereo on board, and party music pulsed throughout the room. B turned out to be quite adept at the robot, while Harold surprised everyone by showing off his mad breakdancing skills. The boys shared the pop that Cody had brought on board.

"Man! This is great!" said Nathaniel, clinking his soda bottle against Cody's. Tyler, Owen, Mike, and Trent crowded around them.

"To the great summer we have ahead of us!" said Mike, raising his bottle. The others did the same. Owen and Nathaniel raised their hands to high-five, but Owen missed and smacked the newcomer in the face, knocking him to the floor.

"Oops… sorry."

* * *

Confession Cam

**Nathaniel** Dude! All these guys are awesome! I was a little nervous about being the newcomer and all, but everyone's totally friendly and they immediately accepted me into their group. This summer is going to rock!

* * *

After their hour was up, the competitors met in the galley, a small, dank room furnished with two long tables that would act as their cafeteria for the season. A large window on one of the walls led to the kitchen, where Chef Hatchet would usually be cooking their meals, though now the cook was piloting the ship.

"Ooh ooh ooh, what do you think the first challenge will be?" Izzy said, sitting next to Leshawna. "I'm hoping we'll maybe get to do something with explosives. Chris loves using explosives, doesn't he? Ooh, he has such good taste in challenges! Or, maybe, we'll have to outlast a tsunami! How fun would that be, huh? Ooh! Or wrestle a giant squid! Wouldn't that be the greatest? My money's definitely going for the giant squid."

"As long as I can move my limbs by the end of the day, I'm fine," said Leshawna. She was glaring across the room at Harold, who was sitting at the other table. The nerd gave her a small smile. Leshawna ran her nails across the table, leaving deep gouges in the wood. Harold ducked out of sight.

A short, musical chime suddenly rang through the room. Some of the players looked confused, but others widened their eyes in mortified recognition. "Oh no," said Gwen. "Is that – ?"

"Yesiree!" Chris walked out of the shadows, dressed in a pirate uniform. "Those of you who competed in season three will recognize that friendly little chime. That's right. Total Drama Ocean is bringing back musical numbers!"

Many campers groaned and dropped their faces on the table, while some others still looked confused. "Wait, musical numbers? Nobody ever said anything about that," said Nathaniel.

"For those of you who are new to this twist, I'll go over the rules. Once an episode, you will hear that little musical chime. When you do, you must drop everything that you're doing and burst into song, no matter what scenario you may be in at the moment. Failure to sing will result in instantaneous disqualification from the contest – no voting, no elimination ceremony, just a quick drop from the plank of shame!"

"Oh, yeah. Because that rule was enforced so strongly last time," mumbled Noah.

"Good point, Noah. So this year, the rules about having to sing will be enforced much more strictly. There will be two exceptions where you won't have to sing. First, if you're not in the vicinity when the chime goes off, or are otherwise incapable of singing at the time, you are lucky enough to skip the musical number of that episode. Second, if someone volunteers to do a solo, everyone else is exempt from singing on that day. Got it?"

The contestants exchanged confused glances with each other.

"Great! Now usually, you can make up the tune as you go. But today, I have a special request. Since we're heading off on a new adventure and a new season, I'd like you all to sing a tribute to the first musical number Total Drama ever had, to the tune of "Come Fly With Us." Chris wiped a nostalgic tear from his eye. "Ah, happy memories. Now, campers, it's time to get your song on!"

* * *

**Come Sail With Us**

Based off of "Come Fly With Us"

Link: /watch?v=Xaslr8mvppY [1]

Cameron_: Sing_

Harold:_ Sing_

Alejandro:_ Sing_

Trent:_ Sing_

Heather:_ The_

Staci:_ Deep_

Katie:_ Blue_

Izzy:_ Sea_

Guys:_ We're sailing!_

Girls:_ We're singing!_

Everyone:_ We're singing while we're sailing!_

Zoey:_ Come sail with us!_

Noah: (monotone)_ This whole thing's a bust._

Owen: (on all fours under the table)_ Look, guys! I found some old pizza crust!_

Bridgette: (looking out at the ocean from the crow's nest)_ The great open sea! _

Geoff : (joining her)_ It's one huge party!_

Dakota tries to join Zoey, but Zoey quickly dashes offscreen.

Dakota:_ Why is buffufa making such a fuss?_

Scott:_ Well, this is lame. I'm wondering why I came._

Cody:_ Same as the rest of us! We're here to win the game!_

Lindsay:_ Ooh, it's so grand! The fortune and the fame!_

Brick:_ Just remember, my comrades: We're one and the same!_

Gwen: (dancing peppily)_ This is a pain!_

Leshawna: (doing likewise)_ Yes, my life's bane!_

Staci: My great-great uncle – (the camera pans away). No, wait, I'm not done!

Katie: (huddled in the shadows, looking over a picture of Sadie)_ It's so soon, yet we feel so far apart. Dear Sadie, I will hold you in my heart!_

Dawn: (standing at the bow and letting the wind blow her hair)_ Adventures await! Deciding our fate!_

On the deck, Trent notices B standing and looking around awkwardly.

Trent: Dude, why aren't you singing?

Heather: (trying to drag Alejandro back onto the main deck)_ Get back out here! Quit showing fear!_

Chris walks up to B and the small crowd that's gathered around him.

Chris: Anyone care to see the new-and-improved rules for season five? Because in order to escape instant elimination-

Cameron snatches the rules out of Chris' hands and reads them.

Cameron:_ All contestants must sing in each show! _(He falters under Chris' glare.) Heh, sorry.

Dawn:_ B, please sing it! Alto!_

Mike:_ Man, just do it! D'you want to go?_

B looks worriedly from side to side.

Tyler:_ It's super easy! Like counting to three!_

Nathaniel:_ Come on bro, just sing, with us!_

B looked unsure, and then fell to his knees and let out one, majestic note. The sheer force of its glory seemed to blast the others backwards. Light from an unknown source coated the deck in a yellowish aura, and cascades of beauty rained down from the heavens. The sweet voices of angels sang hallelujah choruses, as dolphins frolicked and chattered and pelicans performed backflips in the air, because there was no more sorrow, or anger, or pain, and everything was good in the world.

…

* * *

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By the time the ringing had finally stopped, the contestants were lying on the deck, shocked and dazed. The numerous barrels and crates that had been stacked around the mast were now strewn across the deck. B stood in the middle of it all, looking embarrassed at the mess he had inadvertently created.

"All right, B," Chris said weakly. His hair was disheveled, and he had lines underneath his eyes. "Now I know why you never speak. Your voice is obviously too beautiful for this world. Is everyone in agreement that B can be excepted from the singing requirement?"

The contestants groaned and shifted in affirmation.

"All right," said Chris, rising to his feet. "Throw on your swim suits, and meet back here in one hour. In the meantime, I'm going to stare at a wall and rethink _everything_." He stumbled weakly to the captain's quarters.

B shifted uncomfortably as everyone else moaned and twitched around him.

* * *

[1] This is on Youtube, the site won't let me paste the full address.

New poll! Please take a moment and vote for your favorite losers.

Also, if anyone is wondering, Nathaniel's official title is "The Nice Guy With A Moral Code," or, if your prefer, "Chris' Worst Nightmare." Ta!


	6. Episode 1, Part 2: The Dive of Division!

Disclaimer: No profit is being made from this fanfiction, since I don't own this show. Please don't perform any of the stunts seen on this show, because if you do it means you're stupid.

Wow, over 1,000 views! Thank you, everyone!

I'm also glad that everyone likes my character Nathaniel. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

**MyHusbandToBeHisNameIsCody:** Glad I gave you some entertainment on your snow day! And, though I like your idea, I think that B's voice would be way too beautiful to break people's eardrums. On a scale of majesty, I'd rate him somewhere around Morgan Freeman. And as for Trent... Well, I decided to drop the storyline with him. I'm actually going to make him the first eliminated. I'm joking, of course! You will find out what's wrong with Trent soon enough...

**agreenparrot**: Thanks for the feedback, glad you like how I'm doing Scott and Nathaniel!

**Everyone else: **You're all freaking awesome.

* * *

**Episode 01, Part 2:**

**The Dive of Division!**

The twenty-five kids had gathered on the deck of the ship, outfitted in swim wear, most of them looking excited.

"Welcome back to Total Drama Ocean!" Chris sang, with a grand grin towards the camera. "And just in time, because the first challenge is about to start, and our campers are glutton for punishment!"

Dawn lifted her head and closed her eyes, drinking in the sweet sea breeze. "Ah, the smell of the open ocean is so wonderful! I could remain here forever and be perfectly content. "

"The open ocean, huh?" Nathaniel looked around. Over the sides of the ship, there could be nothing seen but blue water, stretching long into the horizon until it finally met the blue sky.

"That is correct!" said Chris. "If you'll take a look around, you'll spy nothing but the big blue for as far as the eye can see. We're miles away from the closest land, in complete isolation. That way, no one will be able to hear your screams!"

The contestants looked quite nervous at this.

"Don't worry," said Chris, reading their minds. "No one will be taking the swim of losers tonight. That's because today, nobody will be eliminated!"

The campers let out cheers and sighs of relief.

"That's right. Instead, today's challenge is strictly meant to divide you into teams. Look at those around you, campers, because at the end of the day, they might be your teammates!"

"Yeah! This is awesome!" Nathaniel raised his hand for Heather to high-five, who eyed it with disdain. "It's okay, I can be pretty intimidating," he joked.

"Just listen to me, new kid," she said. "Don't go thinking that you're on the same level as me. Okay? You may think that this is all fun and games, and that you're here to 'make new friends' and 'have a great summer with everyone.' But this game is mine. I control what goes on here. You step out of line, or try to cross me, and you'll be wishing that the others would vote you off, so that you can go crawling back to that shabby little beach resort that you work at and pray that you never run into me again. Do I making myself clear?"

Nathaniel blinked, and then wrapped his arm around Heather's neck and gave her a noogie. "Aww, you're adorable!"

"Whu – hoo – what –" Heather was in shock.

* * *

Confession Cam

**Geoff **(Laughing) Oh, yeah! New guy taking on Heather, that was hilarious! Ha ha!

**Leshawna** (She is cracking up, unable to say a word.)

**Alejandro **(He stares, motionless, at the camera. His shoulders shrug as he lets out a single laugh. He then leans against the wall, cracking up. Heather opens the door and glares at him as he presses his bulk against the wall fearfully.)

* * *

"All right, settle down, landlubbers," said Chris. "Follow me this way." He led them to the mast. "Members of the original cast probably remember their very first challenge quite vividly: having to jump off a one-thousand foot cliff into a lake, at Camp Wawanakwa, all those years ago. The second cast also stayed at Camp Wawanakwa, but sadly missed out on that challenge, along with those of you who joined the show later, such as Alejandro and Nathaniel. So, in order to make sure that all of you get to experience the joy of the very first challenge that started it all, today's challenge will be a tribute to the Total Drama Island cliff dive!"

"Oh, great. The PTSD's setting in already," said Gwen.

"I call today's challenge the dive of division!" said Chris. "Get it? Because it's dividing you into teams! Yeah! No… Anyone?" He scoffed at the lack of enthusiasm for his cleverly worded title. "Fine. Now, obviously there are no cliffs around, so it's not actually going to be a cliff dive. Also, we were supposed to have sharks, but Chef thought that the chum we were going to use to attract them was actually part of your meal, and cooked it into tonight's dinner."

This news was met by a mix of relieved sighs and looks of revulsion.

"So all we have to do is jump into the water?" said Cameron. "Oh. That's not so bad, guys, right?" He grinned at Mike and Brick.

The contestants grimaced at Chris' laugh, silently scolding themselves for not seeing a dangerous twist coming. "Yes, your goal is to get in the water. However, you're not going to be simply leaping over the sides. You're going to be jumping up there, from the crow's nest!" He pointed far into the sky, where the crow's nest towered above them.

While everyone looked concerned at this, Bridgette let out an especially horrified gasp, drawing odd looks.

"Your team placement will be decided by your performance. You make it into the water, you will be on Team A. But if you instead, shall we say, hit the deck," (he let out an amused chuckle at his little joke), "then you will be placed on Team B, assuming you can still move your limbs."

"But doesn't that give one team an advantage right off the bat?" asked Mike. "Those who make it into the water will generally be more physically capable than those who don't, meaning that Team A will be stronger all together."

"Guess that means you'll want to make it into the water, huh? Now, if half of the contestants end up on one team before the challenge is over, the remaining contestants will immediately be placed on the second team. So, if you hang back, you may not have to make the jump, but you won't have any control over what team you are placed on."

"Now hang on, there is no way we are doing this." Bridgette angrily marched up to Chris. "Are you more out of your mind than usual, Maclean? This is dangerous! People could get seriously hurt!"

"Don't worry," said Chris. "We know that this challenge had dangerous potential, so we'll have mattresses set up on the deck in case anyone misses their big blue target. Your safety is our greatest priority."

Chef drug three mattresses out onto the deck, each of them very old, with stuffing spilling out the sides and springs poking out. Not only did the mattresses not even cover one tenth of the entire deck space, but they were so uncomfortable-looking that many of the campers wondered if simply falling on the deck would be more pleasant.

"Now, who's up first?" asked Chris.

"You cannot be serious!" said Bridgette. "There is no way we are doing this. Right, Geoff?" Silence. "Geoff?"

"Whoo-hoo-hoo!" Geoff screamed, as he plummeted from the mast. He missed the railing – just barely – and landed in the ocean. The party dude surfaced, his hat crinkled from the water but still somehow on his head, and flashed a thumbs-up at the others.

"And Geoff's the first member of Team A!" announced Chris, tossing a rope ladder over the side.

"Geoff!" Bridgette cried, exasperated.

"What's wrong, babe?" Geoff asked, shaking his hat off as he reached the deck.

"You weren't supposed to jump! I'm trying to stop this challenge, and you're not helping!"

Geoff suddenly swept her up in his arms and gave her one long, passionate kiss. When he finally let go, Bridgette stumbled woozily away with a dreamy look plastered on her face.

"And who's up next?" Chris asked.

There was silence among the campers. Mike finally shrugged. "It can't be that bad, can it, guys?" He chuckled nervously, and climbed to the crow's nest.

"Bet you twenty bucks he doesn't make it," Chris said to Chef.

Zoey bit her lip nervously, as Brick patted her shoulder. "Careful, Mike!"

Upon clambering into the crow's nest, Mike looked nervously over the side. "Oh – wow. Okay, there's nothing to worry about here. You can do this, Mike. Just think like Svetlana. Yeah." He jumped. While there was quite a lot more flailing and terrified screaming than Svetlana might have allowed, Mike cleared the deck and splashed into the water.

"Darn it." Chris handed Chef a twenty dollar bill. "Well, Mike, you made it on to Team A. Go stand over by Geoff."

Climbing on board, Mike smiled at Zoey and walked over to join Geoff, who grinned.

"Hey, this doesn't look bad at all," said Brick. "Let me have a shot at it." The cadet climbed to the top, eyed the water with determination, and leapt for it. The contestants winced as Brick hit the deck, not even close to a mattress. The boy twitched and groaned.

"Ooh, tough luck, Brick," said Chris, not sounding the least bit sympathetic. "Unfortunately, you didn't make it to the water, so you're on the loser team – I mean, Team B. Stand over there, please."

Brick got to his feet, with a black eye and a few missing teeth, and stumbled over to where Geoff and Mike were standing. Geoff turned him around, patted his shoulder, and sent him off in the right direction.

"Ugh, that's enough!" said Bridgette. "Brick could have gotten seriously hurt! Or… well… seriously more hurt! Chris, stop this right now!"

"Oh, but I'm not the one doing it," said Chris. "It's the campers who can't seem to get enough." He pointed up, as Izzy flew through the sky, screaming joyfully. She splashed into the water. "Team A!" Chris announced as she climbed back to the deck.

"Aw, man – I was really hoping to land on the deck, it looked so much fun when Brick did it!"

Brick gave her a thumbs- up, and fainted.

"All right, let's get this over with," said Gwen, sulking over to the mast. She looked over the side, gulped, and jumped. She screamed all the way down, and plowed face-first into a mattress.

"Ooh!" the others groaned.

Gwen managed to wrestle her face out of one of the springs. "Ow! Whoever's idea it was to get these mattresses needs some serious psychotherapy!"

"Gwen, Team B," said Chris.

"All right, that's it," said Bridgette. "We can stop this challenge if we all refuse to do it. So nobody else jump – no, Harold!" She shouted as Harold ran past her.

"Do not fear, my water-loving lady! For my mad skills can outmatch any challenge thrown at me!" He climbed the mast, screamed, and landed painfully on the deck.

"Loser team!" sang Chris, as Bridgette shook her head.

"All right, no problem!" Cody said, high-fiving Tyler. The wannabe-ladies' man climbed up to the crow's nest, and looked down at the deck of the ship and the sea far below. "Oh – wow," he said to himself. "That's a long way down. Heh-heh." He took a deep breath, and jumped. On the way down, a loose rope hanging from the sail caught his ankle, and Cody screamed as he was swung back and forth across the deck. The other contestants had to duck as the geek flew over them.

Chris chuckled. "See, Chef? Now that's comedy." Cody barreled over the host as he swung by, knocking him on his face.

"You're right!" said Chef. "That is pretty funny!"

The rope swung Cody over the side of the ship, and then came loose; Cody flailed in midair for a second before dropping into the water.

"And Cody's on Team A!" Chris managed to stutter, before collapsing again.

Lindsay, Leshawna, and Cameron all jumped. Lindsay's shriek permeated the air until it was cut off by a moldy old mattress. Leshawna covered her eyes and screamed as she fell into the water. Cameron flailed as he fell, but his trunks got caught on the ship's rigging, giving him the world's largest wedgie.

"And so far, our ratio of winners to losers has remained about equal," said Chris. "Which is somewhat surprising, considering that you're all losers." He laughed, but was cut off when Cameron's trunks snapped and the bubble boy landed on top of him.

"Chris, you need to stop," said Bridgette, as Cameron woozily headed towards Team B. "This has gone far enough."

"Look, I don't know why you're so upset," said Chris, rubbing his head. "Compared to some of the challenges I put you guys through, this is pretty tame. We don't even have any sharks this time."

"My friend once tried to jump to his pool from his roof," said Bridgette. "He missed, and broke his neck. This is the same situation, only a lot higher, and the water's farther away. I refuse to take part in this." She glared at Chris, who seemed to be stifling a chuckle. "Are you laughing at this?" she said, enraged.

"Yeah! That's hilarious!" Bridgette slammed her foot into Chris' groin, and he collapsed, whimpering softly.

Staci climbed to the top of the mast, shivering slightly as she gazed at the water far below. "My great… great… ohh." She fainted from fear and landed, predictably, on a mattress.

"And Staci's on the loser team, where she'll be right at home!" Chris squeaked, still laying with his hands over his groin. "Ohh…"

Heather climbed up to the crow's nest, looked determinedly at the water, and jumped. She performed a clean pencil dive into the ocean, and Leshawna scoffed as the queen bee smugly joined Team A.

Zoey climbed up the mast, looked down at the water, and whimpered a little.

"Come on, Zo, you can do it!" said Mike.

"Yeah, go Zoey!" called Scott. "You got this!"

"Huh?" Caught off-guard by hearing her arch enemy cheer for her, Zoey slipped off the crow's nest. Mike gasped, and Scott wore a look that clearly said, 'oops.' However, Zoey managed to recover and splashed neatly into the water. Mike helped her aboard, and she glared at Scott as he smiled apologetically.

B fell from the crow's nest onto a mattress with a sickening thud. "And that's B for Team B," said Chris.

Alejandro scaled the mast using his robotic claw-like arms, and threw himself off the crow's nest. He made it past the railing, but got tangled in a fishing net hanging off of the side of the ship. Chris shrugged. "Ah, close enough. Team A for Alejandro!"

Heather rushed to the side and fought to pull the net up. Several competitors snickered as she struggled helplessly to help Alejandro. Heather refused to look at them, but small tears of frustration welled in the corners of her eyes as she pulled at the ropes in vain.

That is, until another figure appeared on her right, also trying to pull up the net.

"Scott?" she said. "What do you want? Get away from here!"

"Look, I'm just trying to help," Scott said, straining as he pulled the ropes.

"You thinking about someone other than yourself? As if."

"Look, I know what Al's been through, okay? I was a jerk, and I had to pay for it. Now I'm trying to right those wrongs, and anyways, I can relate to the guy."

Heather gave Scott an incredulous look, and then gritted her teeth and redoubled her efforts. As the two antagonistic teens worked together to help a third, the chuckles of the other contestants quickly grew faint.

* * *

Confession Cam

**Bridgette **Now, I don't mean to sound conceited, but I think of myself as a good person. But even I wouldn't have minded leaving Al to hang there for a little bit, after all he's done to me. But if someone supposedly nasty like Scott goes to help him when I don't… Geez. I feel like I need to rethink myself a little.

**Geoff** Wa-how. Everyone else stands back to enjoy Alejandro's plight, while one of the jerkiest competitors goes to his aid. That's some inspiration, dudes!

**Nathaniel **Some of the others have warned me to watch out for Scott, that he's a jerk who'll do anything to win. That right there didn't look like a jerk to me.

* * *

Scott and Heather struggled with the net for a few seconds. Finally, Nathaniel, Tyler, and Geoff joined them, and helped to drag Alejandro onto the deck. The robot pulled off the nets and righted himself, surveying those who had helped him.

"Uh – thanks," Heather muttered tersely to Scott, glaring at him as if she wanted to strangle him.

"No problem," smirked Scott, as she and Alejandro headed back to their team.

"Yeah!" Tyler cheered, as he fell from the mast. He landed on the railing, straddling it as the wooden pole collided between his legs. The others cried out in pity.

Sitting absolutely still, Tyler tipped towards the ocean, then towards the deck, back towards the ocean, and finally fell onto the deck. His mouth was frozen in a grimace, his body as stiff as a board.

"Ooh, tough luck, Tyler," said Chris. "You're on Team B. If you had fallen into the ocean, you still would have lost all hope of future generations, but at least you would be on the winner's team! Next!"

Dakota easily clambered up the mast, using her long, handy claws, but crashed onto the deck with an impact that bounced the others a few feet into the air. "Aw, man," she groaned, apparently unfazed by the colossal fall. "I wanted to be on team with buffufa."

Zoey allowed herself a quiet sigh of relief.

Katie looked up at the crow's nest, shivering, and let out a small whimper. She jumped when a hand touched her shoulder. "You okay?" asked Scott, giving her a kind smile.

Katie rapidly shook her head. "I can't do it. Sadie's always there for me when I'm scared. We even jumped the cliff on the island together."

"It must be hard for you, being here without Sadie. I know I couldn't possibly match up to her, but would it make you feel better if I jumped with you?"

Katie sniffled, and nodded slightly, and Scott followed her up the mast. She froze in the crow's nest.

"Katie, I know you can do this," Scott said to the petrified girl. "Sadie would want you to. Do you want to hold my hand?"

"Mm-hm." Katie took his hand, and clenched it tightly, and Scott looked down to the water.

"K', we're going to jump on three, okay? One – two – three."

Scott and Katie screamed as they fell, but both made it to the ocean.

"We – we did it," Katie said quietly as they climbed aboard, still clutching Scott's hand. "I did it!"

"Sadie will be so proud," said Scott, as they joined Team A. Zoey glared at him, and he gave her a small smile.

Dawn was next; she leapt from the crow's nest with a peaceful smile. She fell onto a mattress, bounced into the air, and landed daintily on the deck, balanced on one foot.

"Nice one, Dawn," Chris said. "But you're still on Team B."

Dawn placed a hand on his cheek. "I'm sorry your childhood was hard. But the fact that your parents never got you a pretty mermaid princess playset for Christmas is no excuse to commit your life to torturing others." Chris fell on the deck and cried as Dawn walked to her team.

Trent climbed to the crow's nest, looked down nervously, and leapt, screaming. He landed in the water.

Noah was among the last few contestants who had yet to jump. He walked to the base of the mast, and twiddled his thumbs anxiously.

"What's the matter, short stuff?" Leshawna jeered. "We all did it, and so can you! Or are you above this challenge?"

"Do I have to do this?" Noah asked nervously.

"What, do you think you're better than the rest of us?" Leshawna stomped towards him.

"Yeah, that's definitely it. It has nothing to do with a crippling fear of the ocean."

"Bull! You're trying to weasel your way out of challenges again, just like you did way back during the dodgeball game. You remember how that turned out, string bean?"

"I seem to remember my team overreacting and voting off its greatest prospect."

"Get up there, you self-righteous pain in the butt!"

Noah raised his hands. "Fine. Fine. Whatever." As he climbed the mast, he looked anxiously at the water far below.

* * *

Confession Cam

**Noah** Believe me, the last thing I wanted to do was get into the water. For a split second there, I even considered aiming for the ship's deck, but decided against it on account of wanting to be able to move my limbs tomorrow. I'd land right next to the ship, and immediately climb up the ladder. It should have been easy.

* * *

Noah screamed as he fell through the air, and landed in the water.

Submerged, the brainiac opened his eyes. On every side, the ocean stretched into oblivion. No seafloor or features could be made out, just pure, unadulterated blue, fading to black the deeper the water got.

Panic gripped Noah's chest. He burst to the surface and clawed madly at the side of the ship, but the ladder had vanished. "Where the ladder?" he spluttered, flailing.

Chris laughed at the railing, holding the bundled-up rope ladder. Angry, Bridgette smacked him, making him drop it over the side. Noah zipped to the top and stood there, shivering and sopping.

"Well, thanks for ruining my fun, Bridgette," Chris grumbled. "Noah, you're – surprisingly – on Team A." He turned to the last two campers, Owen and Nathaniel. "Well guys, you're up."

Nathaniel and Owen looked nervously at each other, and Nathaniel grinned. "Hey, no problem, man! We can do this!"

"Ha-ha, yeah! We'll own this challenge!" Owen raised his fist to the sky, punching out Nathaniel's jaw in the process. "Oh, man, I'm so sorry!" Rubbing his cheek tenderly, Nathaniel trudged over to the mast. "Yeah, go get 'em, buddy!"

Nathaniel walked nervously up to the wooden pole, and began to scale it. Upon reaching the crow's nest, he took a deep breath, steadied himself, and prepared to jump.

When the mast suddenly began to rock back and forth.

"Woah! No!" Nathaniel grabbed onto the railing of the crow's nest, trying not to be shaken loose. Owen was clambering up the mast, his massive bulk causing it to tilt either way each time he grabbed a handhold.

"Don't worry, new buddy, I'm comin' up with ya!"

Nathaniel struggled to hold on. "No! Owen! Stop! Wait your turn!" The newcomer lost his grip, and fell from the crow's nest.

"Nathaniel! No!" Owen dropped after him. There was a loud crunch, which caused the other teenagers to wince.

Nathaniel and Owen had landed on a mattress, with Owen on top and the smaller competitor underneath. The only thing that could be seen of the poor boy was a single twitching arm, coming out from Owen's rolls of fat.

"Owen, Team B," said Chris, as Owen tenderly got off of Nathaniel, muttering apologies. Nathaniel sat up and rubbed his head. "Sorry, Nathaniel, but since you also failed to make it over the ship, you are also on Team B."

Nathaniel looked at his team: small and scrawny Cameron, brooding goth girl Gwen, the waving and drooling mutant Dakota, Harold, who had his finger up his nose, and the large and destructive Owen. "It's… awesome!" Nathaniel declared.

"I can't believe all of you did that," said Bridgette, shaking her head.

"And now it's down to you, Bridgette," said Chris. "You're the only one left."

"I already told you, I'm not doing it." Bridgette stuck her nose in the air. "I stand by what I said."

"Fine," said Chris, annoyed. "If you're really going to be lame and not jump, then you get to go on the loser team, Team B."

"Huh?" said Bridgette.

"Huh?" said Geoff.

"Huh?" said Trent.

"Wait… so that means…" Tyler jumped for joy. "Yeah! We get the girl who practically lives in the ocean! Our team will be unbeatable, whoo-hoo!"

Team B cheered, and Lindsay hugged Bridgette. "Yay, I love you, Bertha!"

"Come on, man," said Geoff. "Can't you just be cool and tweak the rules a little?"

"Yeah, Chris," said Trent, darting over. "Come on. Just let them be on the same team."

"Nope. My decision is final. Geoff Team A, Bridgette Team B, and if anyone's not happy with that, then they can get off my show!"

The three groaned.

* * *

Confession Cam

**Trent** Man, this blows. Being on opposite teams is what ruined the relationship between me and Gwen, and I don't want to see Geoff and Bridgette go the same way. They're so happy together, and they're my friends! I can't let this show ruin their relationship like it did mine.

* * *

"Uh, hello, why do they get Bridgette?" called Heather. "That's not fair! Now they have one more player than us!"

"Yeah," said Chris, scratching his head. "Guess I forgot that twenty-five is an odd number. But, oh well! Nothing we can do about it now!"

"But then they have a numbers advantage over us! You can't do that!"

"It's just one person! It won't make that much of a difference!" Chris slapped his palm over his face in exasperation, and then turned back to the camera, grinning. "Now, campers. We need to give you some team names! Team A, I hereby dub you… The Raging Starfish!"

Chris tossed a rolled-up flag at Cody, who unrolled it to reveal a green starfish emblem. "Hey, cool."

"And Team B, from this point on you will forever be known as…" He tossed a second flag to Staci. "The Bloodthirsty Sea Anemones!" Their flag was nearly identical to the Starfish's, but was red and instead featured an emblem of a sea anemone.

"Excellent," said Harold.

* * *

Confession Cam

**Scott** Heh! Things are going absolutely swimmingly! Everyone's already starting to trust me. Some will be harder to crack, like Zoey, but they'll all cave in eventually. Katie was especially easy, without her friend Sadie here, she's completely malleable! Though man, does she have a strong grip. It was ten minutes before she finally let go. It was kind of… strange. I've never really been touched by a girl before. Except for that time I peered into the girl's locker room and got attacked by an angry mob. Those were more punches and kicks, though, while this was… different. Nice. (He looks at the camera, and grins wickedly.) Oh, don't think I'm falling for her. That girl is just one step on the stairway to winning this contest.

* * *

"Well, that's a wrap on that challenge," said Chris. "Campers, go get dressed, and meet in the galley for din-din. Chef's shark chum stew is going to get cold!"

Most of the contestants let out groans of revulsion, while Owen shouted, "Yes! I'm starved!" The large teenager jumped for joy, and crashed right through the ancient wooden deck. Three more crashes followed, ending with a _splash_, and seawater started to spew out of the hole.

"Well, I guess now's as good a time as any to sign off," said Chris, as the contestants ran and screamed in terror behind him and the ship slowly sank. "How will our new teams get along? Will they work together to reach a common goal, or be completely dysfunctional? How will Geoff and Bridgette cope with having to compete against each other? And, the most pressing question, who will be the first to walk the plank of shame and leave the show for good? Find out next time, on Total… Drama… Ocean!"

"Chris! Where are the lifeboats?" Zoey cried. Chris fell to the deck, doubled over in laughter, as water slowly covered the deck.

* * *

**Team Guide**

Raging Starfish

Alejandro

Cody

Geoff

Heather

Izzy

Katie

Leshawna

Mike

Noah

Scott

Trent

Zoey

Bloodthirsty Sea Anemones

B

Brick

Bridgette

Cameron

Dakota

Dawn

Gwen

Harold

Lindsay

Nathaniel

Owen

Staci

Tyler

* * *

Messing with an angry fanbase is extremely dangerous, especially one as large as Total Drama's, and as everyone knows, shipping is serious business. So, before I go on with my own subplots, I'd like to hear from my you: who do you think Nathaniel should pair up with? If you're leaving a review, please take a moment to drop your thoughts in the comments below.


	7. Episode 2, Part 1: Young, Confused Love

Disclaimer: Total Drama belongs to Teletoon, Fresh TV, and all those associated with the show. Please don't touch the fire coral, it may sting a bit.

...

And now, on with the show!

* * *

**Episode 02, Part 1:**

**Young, Confused Love**

Chris stood on the ship's deck, spreading his arms wide. "Last time on Total Drama Ocean…

"The twenty-five winners of the reunion special challenge boarded an ancient pirate ship on a voyage for five million big ones! Couples were tearfully torn apart, like Dakota and Sam, while those who got to stay together faced even more challenges. Leshawna, bitter from a recent break-up, terrorized Harold every step of the way, while Heather got TOed at her metallic mate Alejandro for refusing to stay in the boy's cabin and instead making his own quarters in the groaty supply room. Meanwhile, Noah battled with his fear of open water, and Scott surprised everyone with his suddenly altruistic behavior – while in fact, it was all part of a plan to nab the prize money for himself! As a tribute to Total Drama's first ever challenge, the campers performed a hysterical mast dive to determine the teams – and, in one final tragedy, lovebirds Geoff and Bridgette were placed on opposing sides.

"How will our party guy and surfer chick cope with having to compete against one another? Will Leshawna build a bridge and get over it already? And – Sierra?" Chris' attention was diverted by the dark-skinned, purple-haired girl, who had just climbed over the railing.

"I did it!" she squeaked, shaking slightly. She was soaking wet, had strands of kelp tangled in her hair, and ha a starfish plastered to her forehead. "I made it to the ship!"

"You swam all the way out here?" Chris asked, incredulous. "Well, you still lost the challenge, so you're still not on the show."

"You don't understand!" Sierra grabbed Chris' collar and pulled his face into hers. "Cody is on this ship with Gwen! I can't lose him again after all my hard work! I have to make sure that he doesn't fall for her evil goth powers!"

Chris smiled, and placed his hand on her shoulder comfortingly. "Aw. I understand." She smiled and relaxed. "But, unfortunately, you're still not on my show, so have a fun swim back!" He shoved her over the railing, and gleefully listened to her scream and resulting splash. "Anyway, find out the answers to these questions right now, right here, on Total… Drama… Ocean!"

_(Cut to theme song)_

* * *

From the eastern horizon, the golden sun rose over the Pacific Ocean, illuminating its pure, sapphiric waters, and an old pirate ship, bobbing placidly on the waves.

* * *

In the girl's cabin, the contestants were peacefully asleep. Dawn hung from the ceiling, her legs wrapped around the rafters, her hair draped towards the floor. Izzy snarled and kicked as she fought invisible foes in her sleep. Dakota's head and torso fit in her hammock, while the rest of her body spilled onto the floor, her legs sticking out of the doorway.

* * *

It was equally as peaceful in the men's quarters. The male contestants slept blissfully and soundly, small smiles playing on their faces as they dreamt dreams of joy and happiness and… you know, other pleasant stuff.

An ear-splitting military tune suddenly blasted through the cabin, shattering the silence and several eardrums. The competitors jolted awake, some falling out of their hammocks. Harold leapt to his feet and performed a reflexive karate kick, smacking Tyler in the jaw.

Brick turned off the alarm clock / trumpet hybrid sitting beside his bed. "Ah, what a fantastic sleep! How are you feeling, comrades?"

"That was your alarm clock?" asked Trent, flabbergasted.

"Geez, what time is it?" groaned Scott.

"Six of the morning!" Brick announced, deaf to the groans of those around him. "Just in time for a nice morning jog around the ship! Anyone care to join me?" More groaning. "Really? Well then, you men are all missing out! Guess I'll be the only one to get a fresh start to my day! See you later, comrades!"

As he sprinted out of the room, Owen got to his feet, stretched, and scratched his rump. He took a step forward, but slipped in a puddle and fell on top of Nathaniel, who had been sitting in his hammock and groggily rubbing his eyes. "Oh, man, I am so sorry!"

* * *

Confession Cam

**Brick** It's critical to a healthy heart, mind, and body to get a fresh start to each day. That's why I get up for an early morning jog at four every morning! I actually slept in until six today, because I knew that the others might not like to wake up as early as I do. Treating your teammates with courtesy is an important part of keeping your team together!

**Mike **Man… That was miserable. I hope the girls have a nicer wake-up call than we did.

* * *

The girls woke up willfully and on their own time, brushing their teeth and combing their hair as they chatted amongst themselves. Dozing peacefully in her bed, Zoey opened her eyes, a small smile on her face, to see the wicked toothy grin and hopeful eyes of mutant Dakota. Zoey screamed.

"Morning, Zoey!" Dakota wrapped Zoey into a bone-crushing embrace, blissfully unaware that she was restricting her buffufa's oxygen intake. "You sleep good? Dakota sleep super good! Dakota so happy for sleepover! Dakota wake up, and buffufa right next to me! Crazy, right?"

"Yes… Dakota… can you put me down?" Zoey managed to say.

"Sure, buffuffa!" Dakota put Zoey on the ground, who slowly edged to the door. "Where buffufa going?"

"I'm just gonna… I'll be right back. Yeah." Zoey darted out.

"Okay, buffufa! See you later!" Dakota waved cheerfully. Dawn walked up to the mutant and placed a hand on her leg. "Hi, Dawn!"

"Dakota, I feel that you may be being too rough with Zoey," said the moonchild. "Our redheaded friend may be worried that your rather forward style of showing affection may be hazardous to her health."

Dakota snorted and laughed. "Oh, Dawn, you so silly!" She ruffled Dawn's blonde hair so forcefully that the tiny girl was shoved to the floor. "Me and Zoey bestest best friends ever!"

* * *

Confession Cam

**Dakota** (She has squeezed her upper body through the door into the confessional) Me and buffufa are such good gal pals! I don't feel like anything wrong can ever happen between us!

**Zoey** I know Dakota means well, but I'm kind of becoming afraid for my life whenever she's around. Does that make me a bad person? I'm not trying to avoid her to be mean or anything, I just… you know… like being alive!

* * *

As the sun covered the ship in a golden glow and Brick ran laps around the deck, Noah sluggishly made his way to the railing, dark lines under his eyes from his early wake-up call. He peered out over the blue waters with an unimpressed look.

Suddenly, something splashed below him. He looked down and saw a green, glittering fish tail slide underneath the waves. He raised an eyebrow, perturbed.

* * *

Confession Cam

**Noah** Okay, for once I'm glad that there are cameras everywhere catching everything that goes on. Without them, trying to explain the weird stuff I keep seeing would most likely land me in therapy.

* * *

After all of the teens had woken up, they shuffled into the galley for breakfast, if that's what the otherworldy goop that Chef was serving could be called. The cook spooned a milky white substance onto Katie's plate. The girl eyed it nervously. "Um, excuse me, Chef, but you wouldn't happen to have anything else, would you?"

Chef stared at her with a cold, emotionless expression.

"It's not that I'm criticizing your cooking, I'm sure its delicious," Katie stuttered. "I just don't really know what it is."

"It's eggs, scrawny girl! And they're all you're gettin'!" He spooned an extra slab of gelatinous sludge onto her plate. "You're too skinny! You need to eat more!"

"Uh, thanks, that'll be enough." Katie quickly pulled her plate out of Chef's range.

"What, you don't want to eat that stuff?" Owen chuckled. "You should consider yourself lucky! I wish I got extra food! That looks tasty, mm-mmm!"

One of Katie's 'eggs' shrieked and attached itself to Owen's face. Owen screamed and ran as he tried to get it off, barreling over Nathaniel, who had just walked into the room.

Geoff sat at the Starfish's table, looking lovingly at Bridgette, over with the rest of the Anemones. The surfer caught his eye and gave him a small wave. Geoff smiled dreamily.

Heather, sitting across from the party boy, followed his gaze to see what he was so fixated on. "Argh. Listen, Geoff. I know your girlfriend's on the other team, and I will respect that. But you have to remember that we are competing against her."

"Cool," said Geoff, not taking his eyes off of Bridgette.

"You two can get cozy all you want in your down time, but when a challenge is in play, you better remember that surfer chick over there is our enemy, and I expect you to treat her as such."

"Cool."

"That means no going easy on her, no leaving the rest of us to get all lovey-dovey with her, and definitely no helping her win. Because if you throw any challenges for her, Geoff, I will make sure that you are immediately eliminated."

"Cool."

"Are you even listening to me?"

"Cool."

"Hey-hey, Geoff, how's it going?" Trent popped up behind Geoff.

"Awesome, Trent-man! What's up? You seem happier today, man!"

"Uh, yeah, I'm great! How are things going with you and Bridgette being on opposite teams? Is everything okay?"

"Ch'yeah, dude. We talked about it last night, and we're cool with it. We're gonna compete against each other, but in a friendly way. And definitely no throwing the game, you know? That's just not cool. If either of us is gonna win, we want to win fairly."

"Okay, just checking," said Trent, with a nervous laugh.

* * *

Confession Cam

**Trent** Since being forced on different teams is what ruined my relationship with Gwen, I've made it my duty to make sure Geoff and Bridgette don't go the same way. So I'm just gonna be working in the background, secretly making sure that their relationship remains stable. I mean, what could go wrong?

* * *

Trent walked over to Bridgette, who was half-heartedly poking her egg-things with her fork. "Hey, Bridgette."

"Hey, Trent. What's up?"

"Nothing much. Doesn't look like you're enjoying your breakfast."

"Ugh, no. I forgot how nasty the food was on this show."

"Yeah, well, now that you mention it, Geoff snuck into the kitchen earlier this morning and snagged you some real food." Trent held out a white styrofoam container, the kind that restaurants give their customers to take leftovers home. "He asked me to give it to you, so that no one would get suspicious, with you two being on opposite teams and all."

"Really?" Bridgette raised an eyebrow. "I wouldn't expect Geoff to do anything quiet and under the table. But that's really sweet of him anyway!" She opened the container, and let out a horrified scream.

"What? What's wrong?"

"This is a ham sandwich! I'm vegetarian!"

* * *

Confession Cam

**Trent** Aw man, I forgot she doesn't eat meat! Argh, that was so stupid of me!

* * *

"Is this supposed to be like that sick hamburger prank he pulled on me that first summer we were together? I threatened to break up with him over that, he promised to never do anything like it again!"

"It must have been a mistake," Trent said, pulling the container away. "I mean, everyone makes mistakes, right?" He let out a forceful laugh. Bridgette's eggs suddenly rose up, hissing, and leapt at Trent. The musician hollered and fled as the gelatinous mass pursued him throughout the room.

The others leapt onto tables and benches, screaming advice at Trent as the egg tried to grab his leg with white tendrils.

"Try to step on it! Squish it!" cried Zoey.

"Fire! Kill it with fire!" Harold advised. "That should drive out any evil spirits, at least according to Supernatural Steve's Official Ghosthunter's Ghosthunting Handbook."

"Huh." Chef scratched his head as he read the back of the egg mix box. "I wonder if I put in a wrong ingredient."

Trent grabbed his guitar, pointing it at the egg threateningly. "I'm warning you! Don't come any closer!"

Hissing, the egg wrapped its white tentacles around the guitar and yanked it out of Trent's hands. "No!" cried Trent, as the malevolent breakfast poised to smash the instrument.

"Ai-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi!" Izzy hurtled across the room and pounced on the egg. She grabbed it in her teeth, shaking it viciously from side-to-side as if it were a dog toy. The other campers ducked for cover as white egg goo was flung throughout the room, splattering walls, faces, and clothing.

Izzy heaved and panted, poised over her kill. She then handed the guitar to Trent. "Here you go!... Yeah!..."

"Thanks, Izzy," Trent said, taking the guitar with great relief. "You have no idea how important this guitar is to me."

"No problem, good civilian! Anytime you're in a jam, just call on Izzy, defender of justice!" The remnants of the egg squirmed, and she stomped on it in an explosion of goo. "Stay dead, evil ovular breakfast!"

Scott stood from underneath the table, wiping egg splatters from his face. "Well, that was pleasant."

"Yeah, you're telling me," Staci replied.

* * *

Confession Cam

**Scott** So, I'll admit my plan last year wasn't very thought-out. Even if it had succeeded, it would have left me a one-man team. Remember how well that worked out for DJ? So, I've created a new plan to get the prize money and exact revenge on those who laughed at me! The plan is three-fold. First, I'll gain the trust of the others. I'm pretending that I've turned a new leaf, and the others are already beginning to fall for it. Ha-ha, these idiots will believe anything! Second, I'll get rid of the biggest competition. We fourthers – that's, er, fourth seasoners, members of the second generation cast – have only been around for one season, while some of these other guys have competed in three. Not only are they more experienced at the game, but they outnumber us! As soon as they realize this, they'll view us as nothing more than obstacles and wipe us off the map! That is, unless we beat them to it.

With the trust I've instilled in the others, I'll create an alliance to vote off the most experienced players in the game, so that the rest of us – namely, me – have a real chance to get far. And this alliance won't just be restricted to fourthers, oh, no, anyone inexperienced or new to the game, like Katie or Nathaniel, can join. Anyone I can get my hands on are welcome. And even if someone still doesn't trust me, they'll have to admit that voting with me will benefit them as well, because it allows them to rise higher up the ranks. That's why it's so genius – my plan will give the others an advantage, which will persuade them to work for me, which will further earn me their trust!

As I build up my alliance and vote off the most experiences players, I will be practically invincible throughout the game, as well as I will gain the others' trust and become popular for helping them get so far. Which brings us to step three: exacting my revenge! Once I'm far enough in the game to where the protection of an alliance is unnecessary, I'll turn on those fools who laughed at me and wipe them all out! All those who laughed at me will be shocked when me, the guy who they trusted and gave their alliance to all season, suddenly turns on them and wipes them all out, and gets the money for himself! Because the only thing worse than being kicked out by someone who was already your enemy, is being betrayed by someone you thought was your friend. (He is silent for a moment.) Except Cameron. Cameron's cool, but everybody else is fair game. (A tremor suddenly runs through the ship, knocking Scott to the floor.) What the –

* * *

Scott exited the confessional as the other contestants emerged onto the main deck, looking equally confused. Chris was at the ship's wheel, yelling at Chef.

"Dude, I told you there was a reef there! That's what happens when you go to coral reefs! You have to make sure you don't run _into_ the coral reefs!"

"Well I can't see what's underwater! Maybe you should try piloting sometime!"

"Does someone care to explain what's going on here?" asked Gwen.

Chris noticed the cast. "Well Chef here ran us aground on a reef, so we're stuck here 'till he patches up the holes." Chef glared at the host. "But, it's no matter, because this is where we're going to have our second challenge!"

"Which the other team totally has an advantage on, since they outnumber us!" growled Heather.

"Oh, c'mon, you're still stuck on that? A one-person difference isn't going to kill anyone!"

"They have the freaking mutant on their team!" Heather said, gesturing to Dakota. "She's worth, like, ten people!"

"All right! I'm tired of hearing you!" Chris snapped. "Shut your mouth now, unless you want to become the first one kicked off the show!"

"Excuse me, I –"

"Now, Heather!"

Heather quieted, but did not look happy.

"Good," said Chris. "Now that that's over, I'll explain today's challenge."

* * *

Confession Cam

**Noah** Since it was only the second day and all, I was really hoping for some kind of challenge that didn't require us to be in the water. You now, maybe something on the ship, or something close to shore, like beach volleyball or surfing. Anything not in open water, I'm okay with.

* * *

"I hope you're ready to get your feet wet!" Chris said. Noah palmed his forehead. "Because today, you're going to be exploring a beautiful coral reef!"

"Hey, Bridgette, babe," said Geoff, edging over to his girlfriend. "How goes things?"

Bridgette crossed her arms. "Geoff, I'm really not happy about that stunt you pulled at breakfast."

"What stunt? Oh-ho-ho, you mean accidentally squirting orange juice out my nose! Yeah, that hit Alejandro right in the face! That was totally hilarious, man."

"No, I meant –"

"Geoff! Buddy!" Trent appeared out of nowhere and put his hand on Geoff's shoulder. "Hey, come check out this awesome seagull over here!"

"Sweet, dude!" said Geoff, following him, as Bridgette shook her head.

"Ah, coral reefs," Chris continued. "Nature's most majestic structures, housing a gigantic diversity of marine life, from beautiful flitting fish, to placid sea turtles, to stinging fire coral, to man-eating sharks, to poisonous creatures that can kill a man in minutes. Which is why we're sending you down there."

"Yeah! Exploring a coral reef! This is gonna be awesome, guys!" Tyler high-fived Owen.

"I'm glad you're enthusiastic, Tyler, because I'm excited for today's challenge, too. The goal of today is to celebrate the immense diversity of our seas by capturing three different oceanic creatures. First, you must capture any one of the many species of reef fish."

"Reef fish. Easy," said Cameron.

"Second, you must retrieve a sea turtle."

"Nice!" said Bridgette.

"Third, a shark."

"Yeah-ha-ha!" Izzy cheered, as the others paled.

"A… sh-shark?" Scott gulped.

"You got it! Attached to the underside of our ship are two large glass aquariums, filled with seawater. Whichever team fills their tank with their three species and hauls it up to the deck first wins. The losing team will be sending someone home.

"Each team will be divided into four groups of three. Each of the first three groups chase after one of their animals. The fourth group will remain on the ship to hoist their team's aquarium onto the deck once it is full."

Noah snapped to attention at this, and turned to his team. "All right, all right, I'll volunteer to stay on the deck, since I know you're all so eager to get into the water."

"Yeah? How do we know that's not just you being lazy?" snapped Leshawna.

"Actually, I'm worried about the opposite," Trent said. "Dragging an entire aquarium's worth of water onto the deck is probably going to be hardest part of the challenge. Noah, not to rag on you, but are you sure you're, ah, physically capable of handling that?"

"Pssh. Geez. Thanks for the compliment."

"No, I didn't mean that, I meant…"

Geoff shrugged. "Hey, if the guy thinks he can handle it, then I say we let him!"

"Whatever," grumbled Leshawna. "You just better not mess this up."

"Each team is advised to assign one player to guard their aquarium from sabotage. Starfish, since you're down a man, that means you'll have one group of two."

"How is that fair?" snapped Heather. "That means –"

"What did I tell you?" said Chris.

"But you totally –"

"Shush!"

Heather pouted.

Chris held up a wetsuit. "Now, those of you in the water will be donning state-of-the-art scuba suits, which allow you to talk via tiny radios in the mask to any competitors in a thirty foot radius. That way, you'll be able to communicate with your teammates if you've spotted something of interest, or hear their terrified screams if they're looking down the jaws of a great white. Now, you have five minutes to decide on your groups!"

"Dudes! You gotta let me be in the water!" Tyler said to the Anemones. "I was on the varsity swim team in high school! I totally got this!"

"All right," said Nathaniel. "Anyone else?"

"I'll dive," said Bridgette.

"Oh, yeah! Ocean girl, all the way!" Tyler high-fived her.

"Me too!" Dakota said.

"Actually, Dakota, I was thinking you'd like to haul the aquarium up," said Gwen. "That's probably going to be the hardest part, and you're the strongest here."

"Okay!" said Dakota.

B thumped his chest proudly, and Dawn said, "I believe B wants to stay on deck, too."

Gwen shrugged. "Sure. You look strong. Anyone else?"

"Ooh, I'll stay!" Lindsay waved her hand in the air. "I can totally work on my tan."

"And I would like to volunteer to be the one protecting our aquarium from the other team," Brick stated. "As long as no one else wants the job. But I will inform you now that when this cadet is guarding something, he guards it with his life."

"Sounds good to me," said Bridgette. "Everyone else okay with going into the water?" The others nodded in agreement.

"So Noah's gonna stay on deck," said Geoff, with the Raging Starfish. "Anyone else want to?"

"I've got this!" said Cody, proudly strutting forward.

"No no no, stop right there," said Heather. "Two of the scrawniest players doing the hardest job? I don't think so. We need people who actually have, like, strength."

"Hey, don't worry, Heather," Cody said, flexing his muscle-less arms. "I may not look it, but I've been hitting the gym quite a lot. I'm sure I can handle it."

"Yeah, that's cute, but no. We need someone who can actually lift something heavy."

"Hey, lay off the guy!" Geoff said. "If he says he can do it, I believe him!"

"Oh, yeah? And who made you team captain?"

"Huh?" said Geoff, his surprise genuine. "I didn't say I was captain."

"Well you're sure acting like you are!"

"Sounds fine to me," said Trent. "Everyone okay with Geoff being captain?"

"Oh, dude? Seriously?" Geoff looked touched.

The others mumbled their approval. "Sure, why not?" said Katie.

"He seems like a nice guy," said Zoey.

"Oh! Dudes! I love you!" Geoff tried to wrap his teammates in a bear hug.

"That's not what I meant!" Heather snarled. She turned to Alejandro. "Alejandro, you're tough. How about you stay on deck to help hoist up the aquarium?"

"I don't care what I do," Alejandro rumbled miserably. "Nothing matters to me anymore."

"Knock it off already!" Heather smacked his shoulder. "You're not even going to have a chance to get the five mil if you don't stop moping around!"

"I do not care about the prize money," Alejandro said, prompting Heather to smack her palm to her forehead. "Nothing is important to me so long as I am trapped in this cold, metal prison."

* * *

Confession Cam

**Heather** Alejandro was bad enough before, but now that he's returned to the show, and with us being so close to where he got his 'condition,' he's more moody than ever! Oh, this guy is driving me nuts.

* * *

"I'll protect our aquarium!" Mike said. "You know, if no one else wants to do it."

"Sounds good to me, dude!" Geoff high-fived him. "So everyone else cool being in the water?"

The others shrugged or nodded.

"Sweet! Then we need to choose our groups. Katie, Zoey, and Leshawna, you guys want to be a team?"

The three girls agreed. "Awesome! We'll have a girl power group!" Zoey high-fived the other two.

"And Scott and Heather, you two cool working together?"

Heather scoffed. "As if."

"Sure, why not," said Scott.

"Ooh! Me too!" Izzy wrapped an arm around either of them, unwittingly choking them. "Izzy will be in this group too!"

"Sweet! And I guess that leaves me and Trent here to be the two-person group!" Geoff exchanged a low-five with Trent. "Let's rock this, Starfish! Whoo-hoo!"

"Whoo-hoo!" The others cheered, with the exception of Heather and Alejandro.

"Raging Starfish. Bloodthirsty Sea Anemones," said Chris. "Those of you who are going to be diving, get into your scuba gear. It's in that crate that Chef there is handling." Chef was working on a crate that was nearly twice his height, trying to open it with a crowbar. The lid popped off, and the big man screamed as he was covered by the mountain of scuba gear that spilled out. "And… go!"

The contestants ran to the scuba gear, wrestling to get it on. Tyler attempted to squeeze a pair of goggles over his eyes, which slipped out of his hands and smacked him in the nose. Cameron struggled to lift an air tank, which was nearly as tall as he was. Owen lost balance as he tried to put on a flipper, falling onto Nathaniel. As the others fought a losing battle, Bridgette slipped into her gear with ease, at home with the scuba equipment. She looked up as Geoff approached.

"Hey, Bridgette. Just wanted to wish you good luck on the challenge today. It's a bummer that we don't get to work together, but I look forward to competing against you."

"Aw, thanks Geoff. Good luck to you too." She crossed her arms, looking displeased. "But I'm still kind of upset over what you did at breakfast."

"Huh? How did I upset you?" said Geoff, genuinely confused.

Bridgette saw his puzzled look. "You mean you really don't know?"

"No! I would never do anything to hurt you, babe. You know that."

"Oh… well, everybody makes mistakes, I guess. I'm sorry, I guess I was being presumptuous."

They kissed, and Geoff smiled at her. "I don't even know what that word means and it still sounds hot when you say it."

Bridgette giggled, and lightly pushed him away. "Now, get back to your team. We're enemies, remember?"

Geoff laughed. "Ch'yeah, surfer babe. Catch ya later!"

As Geoff left Bridgette, neither were aware of Trent watching them, his face etched with concern.

* * *

Confession Cam

**Trent** Dude, this stinks. Those two are way too comfortable right now. Sure, they need to get along, but there needs to be some friendly competition in there! A big factor that tore me and Gwen apart was me trying to help her team win. I need to make sure that Geoff doesn't do that!

* * *

Trent walked over to Geoff as the party dude was putting on flippers. "Hey, Geoff. I've gotta talk to you about something."

"Yeah! What's up, Trent-man?"

"Well, I'll tell you, but I'm not sure you're going to like it."

"Hey, don't sweat it! You can tell me anything!"

"All right, but don't say I didn't warn you." Trent took a deep breath. "I was just walking by the other team, and I heard some of them telling Bridgette they were worried you might try to throw the game for them."

"Never!" Geoff said. "Me and Bridgette made a pact to never throw the game for each other! We're both going to win fairly, or not at all!"

"Oh, that's good. Because Bridgette told them that she wants to win fairly, and would break up with you if you did throw any challenges."

Geoff's mouth dropped open. "What?"

"Yeah. So, just don't throw any challenges, and there's no reason to sweat. Cool? Good, I'm glad we had this talk." Trent patted Geoff's shoulder and departed, leaving Geoff frozen in a state of horror.

* * *

Confession Cam

**Geoff** Bridgette considered breaking up with me? Just for helping her win a challenge? I mean, not that I would do that, we promised each other, but… I thought she trusted me, and… and… but she would really break up with me over something that small? I thought we were tighter than that… and… (He breaks into tears.) Oh-ho-ho! Bridgette!

**Trent** (Looking proud) Good job, Trent. You did a good job.

* * *

As Trent left Geoff and picked up a scuba tank to examine, he failed to notice the petite blonde girl, meditating on the railing beside him. "You don't have to do that, you know," smiled Dawn.

Trent jumped, accidentally throwing his scuba tank in the air, which fell on top of Tyler. "Woah! Dawn! I didn't even see you there! Man, you scared me."

"I know your intentions are good, but you don't have to worry." Dawn placed a comforting hand on Trent's arm, though it caused him to shiver. "Bridgette and Geoff's bond is very strong. You're a good friend, and you're worried that they may go the same way as you and Gwen, but I fear your efforts may only harm them."

Trent tore away from her. "What? How'd you know that? Can you read minds?"

"Hm? No." Dawn smiled. "I can see people's auras. Everyone's emotions and past experiences gives their aura its form. Yours shows your concerns for your friends, but I urge you to not go any further! Geoff and Bridgette must figure it out on their own!"

"Yeah, well I know them better than you! And I'm not going to let them go down the same road I did!"

Dawn clasped the hand that Trent was pointing in her face. "Something is troubling you."

"Yeah! I don't want my friends to break up!"

"No, something else. Your aura reveals great sorrow. You're bothered by something outside of the show – something bigger."

Trent ripped his hand from her. "Just leave me alone, all right?" Dawn shook her head in sympathy as Trent stomped away.

* * *

Having managed to put on their scuba gear, the nineteen designated divers prepared to make their dive. Leshawna, Katie, and Zoey made up one group, Scott, Izzy, and Heather a second, and Trent and Geoff rounded off the third. On the Anemone side, Dawn, Nathaniel, and Harold had decided to be one team, Cameron, Owen, and Tyler another, and Gwen, Staci, and Bridgette a third.

"I hope you're ready to get your dive on, landlubbers," said Chris, pacing in front of them. "Before you begin your challenge, are there any questions?"

Scott raised his hand. "Yeah, how in the world are we supposed to capture a freaking shark?"

Chris chuckled. "Oh, I'm sure you'll think of something. Now remember: first team to get all three animals in their aquarium and hoist it up to deck wins! Also, make sure you don't cause harm to any of the coral or other sea life. That'll make that environmentalists angry, and I already have enough of them breathing down my neck after that nuclear waste incident. Anyways, campers, are you ready?"

The divers crouched at the railing, poised to jump over.

"On your marks… get set… and go!"

The divers leapt overboard, and splashed into the ocean.

* * *

They were met with a plethora of color and life. Pink coral stretched in every direction underneath them, with brightly-colored reef fish, every shade and hue of the rainbow, flitting in and out of crevices.

Zoey clasped her hands. "Oh, wow, it's so beautiful!"

Mike tapped her shoulder. "Hey, guys, I've found the aquariums."

A huge glass box hung from either side of the ship, a small door allowing access in and out of each. One had the green emblem of the Raging Starfish, while the other displayed the red of the Bloodthirsty Sea Anemones.

Mike kicked to the front of his team's box, guarding it valiantly. "All right, guys. I've got this covered. You head on out there and capture our animals!"

"Sounds good!"

"All right!"

As the Raging Starfish swam off to collect their creatures, the Bloodthirsty Sea Anemones huddled in front of their box. "All right, comrades," said Brick. "We need to make a game plan. I'll hold down the fort. Should we assign a group to each animal?"

"Actually, I was thinking we should go after whichever animal we see first," said Gwen. "That way, there's no fish group passing over a ton of turtles while the turtle group can't find anything."

"Sounds like a plan." Bridgette put her hand in the middle. "To the Bloodthirsty Sea Anemones?"

The others put their hands in and cheered, "BSAs!"

"Break, team!" said Bridgette, and each group swam off in a separate direction.

* * *

**Raging Starfish – Heather, Izzy, and Scott**

"So, I'm fine with the other two," said Heather, as she swam over the tops of coral with Izzy and Scott, "but how in the heck are we supposed to persuade a shark to get into our aquarium?"

"That's gonna be the fun part!" Izzy cheered. "Uh-huh. I'm expertly trained in shark wrestling. This one time, I was at the beach, and I heard a surfer screaming because a shark had, like, chewed off his leg, right? So I jumped in, and totally beat the snot out of the shark! And it was such a pushover, too. But then, it turned out it was actually just a filming session on a movie set, and I had destroyed their main prop! I tell you, the director was so mad, I swear I saw steam coming out of his nose. They wanted to sue me for, like, five million dollars, right, but then I offered to be the shark, and they liked my acting so much that they gave me the part! That's why everyone always says that the shark in_ Jaws_ looks so fake."

"I'm pretty sure that movie was filmed before you were born," Heather said tonelessly.

"Oh, yeah, no, that's a pretty common misconception."

"Hey, I have an idea," said Scott. "Why don't we focus on the other animals first?"

"Why?" asked Heather. "The fish and the turtle should be easy. It's the shark that I'm worried about."

"Because, silly, don't you remember?" asked Izzy. "He got half-eaten and paralyzed by a shark last year! He probably thought he was going to be stuck like that forever!" Izzy swam into Scott's arms and wrapped her arms around his neck. "That was so cool! You're, like, totally my hero!"

Scott pushed her off, and crossed his arms defensively. "She's right. My experience may have left me slightly afraid of sharks."

"Yeah, well, I'm _slightly_ afraid of sharks, too," said Heather sarcastically. "But that doesn't mean you have the right to slack off and make the rest of us –"

Scott grabbed and shook her shoulders, a manic look in his eye. "Okay! I'm freaking terrified of sharks! You should have seen the nightmares I had! The terrible nightmares, man! For the first few weeks after being fixed, every night I had to experience the whole thing over and over again! The biting, the teeth, everything!"

"Okay! Okay. Whatever." Heather grabbed Scott's hands and removed them as if they were something of particular distaste. "You don't have to go after the shark. The rest of the team will handle it."

"Oh-ho-ho!" Scott wrapped his arms around her in great relief. "Thank you."

"What… will you get off of me?"

"Yeah, group hug!" Izzy said, joining them.

* * *

**Bloodthirsty Sea Anemones – Dawn, Harold, and Nathaniel**

A swarm of beautifully-colored fish flitted around a pink outcropping of coral. A small blonde girl swam down to them, and smiled in peace as they circled around her. "Hello, my aquatic friends. Thank you for welcoming me so openly into your home. It's breathtakingly beautiful."

Nathaniel and Harold suddenly swept in, grabbing manically at the small reef fish. "Ha! Ha-ha!" Nathaniel proclaimed, until he realized that he had been unsuccessful. Trying to grab one of the quickly darting fish was like trying to grab liquid mercury (which we don't recommend trying).

"Yes! No! Oh, man." Harold slumped in defeat. "These fish have won this battle. How are we ever going to nab one?"

"My friends, you mustn't try to overpower nature," said Dawn calmly. "You must learn to respect mother Earth's creatures. Become one with her children, instead of fighting against them." She descended to where the school of fish had retreated, and once again smiled serenly as they swam adoringly around her.

Harold and Nathaniel stared, astonished and slightly exasperated. Nathaniel grinned at the redhead. "Boy, she's sure something, isn't she? I wonder if she's seeing anybody."

"I don't know, I would be careful around her," Harold replied. "I hear she's pretty spooky. She can talk to animals, and does this weird thing where she reads your aura!"

"Weird? That's totally awesome! Just sit back and let the Nate-man handle this." Nathaniel kicked down to where Dawn was, meditating amongst the sea creatures, and cleared his throat. "Hey, so Dawn. A big fan of animals, huh? I always wished I could talk to animals when I was younger. What I wouldn't give to hear what my dog has to say."

"You don't have to try to act cool around me," said Dawn.

"I – huh? What?"

"Your aura clearly says that you are trying to agree with my point of view in order to get on good terms with me. You don't have to worry about that. I will happily befriend you. I am friends with all living creatures, human and otherwise. There is no need to put on a false persona – although I do appreciate your love of nature." She swam away, kicking both of her legs at once to give her a mermaid-like appearance, leaving Nathaniel frozen and on the spot.

"Woah…" He enthusiastically turned to Harold as the nerd joined him. "That Dawn girl's amazing!"

* * *

"So who's gonna win?" Chris said, looking over the water. "The Raging Starfish, who seem to be having some teamwork issues, or the Bloodthirsty Sea Anemones, who, so far, are getting along? Will their animals be cleanly captured, or will our campers end up in the jaws of a vicious shark? Make sure you stay tuned, on Total… Drama…"

"Ocean!" Cody said, hopping in front of Chris. He high-fived Lindsay. "Yeah! I did it! Noah, you owe me ten bucks."

"Um, hello?" Chris whined. "What was that?"

* * *

**Team Guide**

Raging Starfish

Alejandro

Cody

Geoff

Heather

Izzy

Katie

Leshawna

Mike

Noah

Scott

Trent

Zoey

Bloodthirsty Sea Anemones

B

Brick

Bridgette

Cameron

Dakota

Dawn

Gwen

Harold

Lindsay

Nathaniel

Owen

Staci

Tyler


	8. Episode 2, Part 2: Coral Corral

**Disclaimer: **Total Drama and its characters belong to Fresh TV, Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and all those associated with the show. I am not making any money from this fanfiction, although it would be pretty sweet if I were. Feel free to burst into song if you so desire.

I also do not own any songs used in this chapter, for which a full disclaimer will be located at the end.

Whoo! Sorry for the long wait, guys! My last few weeks of school were horrific as far as homework and exams go. This chapter was also a lot longer than I thought it would be. I considered breaking it into two, but then I decided, _naaah._

And we've reached the two thousand view mark! Yeah!

**PhenomsServant: **Heh... Bwahaha... Bwahahahaha! Ahahahahahahahahahaha! Eh-hem.

**agreenparrot:** Yeah, Trent was definitely hard to watch then. Hopefully it won't be as painful this time.

**Punk Rock Courtney: **Courtney's not competing at the moment. However, she will have plenty of appearances in the future. Plus, there's always the chance that she'll win the halfway challenge and get into the game! But don't worry, I have a lot planned for our little C.I.T... Bwahahaha...

**slicer37: **Why thank you!

And thank you to everyone for your continued support! You are what really keeps this story alive!

And now, on with the show!

* * *

**Episode 02, Part 2:**

**Coral Corral**

Mike and Brick floated underneath their respective aquariums, each looking out to sea in a rather awkward silence.

"So, uh… Mike," said Brick. Though not looking at each other, they were still close enough to pick up each other's voices from their masks. "How is it being on the Raging Starfish?"

"Good, good," Mike replied. "And how's your team working out?"

"Oh, excellent."

"That's great." A few second's pause. "So, nothing's weird between us since we're on different teams and all?"

"No, of course not! Never!"

"Oh, good. That's good."

"I mean, we've been on different teams before, right?"

"Definitely!"

"So we're still cool."

"Yeah, we're cool."

The two again fell into an awkward silence.

* * *

Confession Cam

**Brick** I'm hoping that with Cameron and I being on different teams than Mike and Zoey, nothing weird will happen between us. Of course, teamwork and winning's important, but only a fool would put the prize over his friends. And I've been a cadet long enough to know that loyalty is one of the most important things a man can have!

* * *

**Bloodthirsty Sea Anemones – Bridgette, Gwen, and Staci**

"And my great aunt Terry invented scuba gear. Before that, people just tried to hold their breath really long and not die. But my great-great-great-great uncle Philip was really good at doing that and invented freediving."

Bridgette sighed. "Staci, the modern scuba suit was invented by Jacques Cousteau. And freediving is as old as humanity itself."

Staci was taken aback. "Well, my great-great-great-great uncle Philip was really, really old."

"Ugh! I don't know how much more I can take of this," Gwen hissed. "How long until this challenge is over?"

Bridgette looked at the bright fish flitting around them. "Well, we need to get a fish, but catching one will be a problem."

"Can't we just grab one?"

Bridgette laughed. "When I was a kid, I would always try to grab little fish with my bare hands. It's near impossible. We'll need something to catch it with."

"Yeah, right," said Staci. "My great-great uncle Adam mastered the art of catching fish with his bare hands. It's a skill passed down in my family."

"Oh, really?" Gwen raised an eyebrow. "How about you go catch one for us, then?"

"Oh! Uh, yeah! No problem!" Staci swam down to the coral, grabbing fruitlessly at the vast bounty of fish around her. Gwen and Bridgette watched her struggles with bemused expressions.

"Quick, lets go while she's distracted." Gwen made a move to flee, but Bridgette grabbed her shoulder and shook her head.

* * *

**Raging Starfish – Geoff and Trent**

"Ha-ha-ha, all right," said Trent. "So we've got to find a turtle, a fish, and a shark. That shouldn't be too hard." He looked at his party-loving pal, who was glaring at the coral. "Something wrong?"

"Nothing," said Geoff. "There's nothing wrong with me and Bridgette. Why would you even think that? There's no way that my heart is being crushed into a tiny pulp because of her proving our relationship means nothing because she planned on breaking up with me _before_ I even did anything! No, nothing wrong at all!"

"Woah, easy, man. I'm sure she didn't mean it like that. That sounded a lot harsher than I… uh, she meant it. Just don't give her team an advantage, and everything'll be fine."

"Oh, yeah. With a girlfriend who cares more about a stupid contest than me!"

Trent pat his shoulder. "Don't worry. You'll get through this."

Geoff suddenly burst into tears, flooding his goggles. "Bridgette!"

"Sheesh, this isn't working out the way I thought it would," Trent mumbled.

* * *

**Bloodthirsty Sea Anemones – Cameron, Owen, and Tyler**

"Okay," said Cameron. "So we still have a shark, a turtle, and a fish to find. Which one do you guys think we should look for first?" He looked up at his group. "Guys?"

Tyler and Owen were laughing, batting a blown-up pufferfish back and forth like a beach ball.

"Guys! We need to focus! And stop harassing that _Takifugu exascurus_! Its spines are toxic!"

"The takiwhutt exscurwho?" asked Tyler, taking his eyes off the blowfish, which allowed Owen's serve to slam him in the face with dozens of ticked-off pufferfish spines. The jock flailed and yanked the fish off.

Cameron gasped. "Are you okay?"

"Oh, yeah," said Tyler, waving nonchalantly. "The doctors say I have an amazing immune system. I can handle a few dozen liters' worth of neurotoxins, no problem."

"Okay, then," Cameron said nervously. "Well which animal do you guys want to go after?"

Owen mulled it over. "Hmm… How about… the shark!" He pumped his fists in the air.

"Yeah, the shark! Definitely the shark!" seconded Tyler.

"What… really? Are you sure about that?"

"Of course, man!" said Tyler. "Nothing creates an adrenaline rush like wrangling an angry shark! Whoo!" He and Owen high-fived.

"Okay, if you're positive," gulped Cameron. "But I'd advise –"

"Hey! I once saw on this one nature show that sharks can turn their stomachs inside out!" said Owen. "I've been practicing! Wanna see?"

Tyler and Cameron both gagged and covered their eyes.

"Humans are not supposed to be able to do that!" cried Cameron.

"Too far, man, too far," said Tyler.

* * *

**Raging Starfish – Katie, Leshawna, and Zoey**

"And then Mike realized that it was actually my mom, who had come home from work early!" Zoey finished her story as the other two laughed. "He was stuttering apologies for the next two hours. I was cracking up the whole time, of course." She sighed dreamily. "Mike and I didn't get to see each other very often during the break, but it was always so fun when we did. I'm actually pretty happy to be here, because it means we get to spend the whole contest together!"

"Aw," said Katie. "You guys sound so sweet together. Oh, you two are like BFFs. It makes me miss Sadie."

"Oh," said Zoey. "Are you two…"

"Oh! Oh, no." Katie quickly waved her hands. "No, not like that."

Zoey giggled. "And what about you, Leshawna? What happened with you and Harold? Before I was a competitor and used to watch the show, you two seemed so happy together."

Leshawna narrowed her eyes. "That skinny little fool went and broke up with me! Completely unprovoked, just out of the blue! No warning or nuthin'!"

"Oh," said Zoey sympathetically.

"I'm sorry." Katie patted her shoulder. "But Harold always seemed to completely adore you. It seems strange that he would do that."

"That's what I'm saying!" Leshawna froze, staring forward. "Well, would you look at that."

A distance away, the three could see Nathaniel, Dawn, and Harold swimming amongst the reef.

Leshawna chuckled darkly, and kicked to the seafloor. "Leshawna?" said Katie.

"Maybe you shouldn't let your emotions get the best of you," said Zoey.

"Nonsense!" Leshawna picked up a sea urchin, careful to avoid being pricked by its spines. "This isn't for personal reasons. I'm just messin' with the opposite team, you know, to give us an advantage and all."

"But…" Katie stuttered.

"Be right back, girls!" Leshawna kicked away, leaving Katie and Zoey to sigh.

* * *

**Bloodthirsty Sea Anemones – Dawn, Harold, and Nathaniel**

Dawn swam ahead of the boys, in blissful harmony with nature. Meanwhile, Nathaniel and Harold made conversation. "So, how are things with the ladies in your life?" asked Nathaniel. "I remember you and that one nice-looking girl seemed to have something going when I was serving you during the reunion."

"Oh. Leshawna." Harold sighed miserably. "Yes, I love her deeply. But, sadly, we have since broken up."

"Oh. I'm sorry." Nathaniel patted Harold's back. "Yeah, I kind of figured that when she threw you over my head."

"See, I thought it was what she wanted," Harold explained. "But she took it totally the wrong way."

"Well why don't you just tell that to her?"

"I would, but I'm afraid she's out for my blood."

"Come on, she can't be that mad."

Leshawna suddenly appeared behind them, grabbed Harold's trunks, and dropped a sea urchin into them. "Yes! Victory!" she cried, her loud voice nearly drowned out by Harold's scream.

* * *

Confession Cam

**Harold** (Tenderly picking sea urchin spines out of his rump) Dang, sea urchins hurt more than one would think.

**Nathaniel** Okay, maybe she is that mad.

* * *

Above the ship, those who had stayed behind lay on pool chairs, soaking up rays.

"Man, this is even nicer than I thought it would be," said Cody. "While the others are wrangling sharks, we get to sit back and work on tans for the ladies."

Lindsay lifted her sunglasses. "I know, right? They should do challenges like these more often!"

Dakota snickered and pointed at Cody. "You look like tomato."

Cody chuckled. "Thanks, Dakota. I'll take that as a compliment." B raised a tube of sunscreen, but Cody shook his head. "No thanks, I'm good!"

"Dude, seriously, that's, like, a third degree burn," muttered Noah, not looking up from his book. "You might want to do something about that."

"What do you mean? I thought the ladies loved this type of tan!"

"CODY! OMIGOSH, YOUR TAN IS SO HOT!"

The competitors jumped, Noah dropping his book and Alejandro spilling his coconut drink on himself. "Is that –" said Cody.

Sierra climbed over the railing, soaked to the bone, a crab hanging from her ear. "Cody, I've missed you!"

"Sierra?" said Cody. He was suddenly wrapped in her arms, their size difference causing his face to be slammed into her chest.

"Cody, I've missed you so much! It's been so long since I last saw you! Oh, my, you've grown so tall. How long has it been since we've seen each other?"

Cody grunted. "Errg… yesterday… morning…"

A pair of strong arms yanked Sierra away, leaving Cody gasping for breath. "No, Cody!"

"What did I tell you?" Chris glared at Sierra, hoisted by the scruff of her neck via Chef. "You're not on my show! If you really want a spot, you can compete for one at the halfway mark with the other losers! But until then, the answer's no!" He smirked at Chef. "Chef, would you like to do the honors?"

Chef grinned wickedly, and dragged Sierra to the railing as the superfan protested. "No! I have to stay with Cody! Otherwise Gwen's going to work her evil seductress powers on him! You can't do this to me! The fate of my Cody-kins is on the line! No! Cooo-deeee!"

Her final cry ended with a splash. Chef dusted his hands off to signify a job well done.

"Nice job, Chef. Now, let's get back to that wicked game of canasta." As Chris and Chef headed belowdecks, Cody stared worriedly at the spot where Sierra had been thrown over.

* * *

**Raging Starfish – Heather, Izzy, and Scott**

"Ha ha ha! Arr-rar-ra-ra-ra!" Izzy swam in circles around a coral outcrop, snarling as she tried to capture one of the many reef fish surrounding her. They all flitted out of the way, not acting concerned in the least. Scott and Heather looked on, unimpressed.

"That's not going to work, psycho hose-beast," drawled Heather. "They're too fast."

"We'll need to think of another game plan," said Scott.

"Oh yeah? And what do you have in mind?"

"Hey, guys, look!" Izzy swam over, an unexciting rock-like object in her hands. "Do you think this fish'll count? It looks like a rock!"

"That's because it is a rock, Izzy," Heather snapped.

Izzy laughed. "No it's not, silly, it's a stonefish!" The rock suddenly rose out of her hands, revealing fins, eyes, and a tail.

The other two yelped, Scott leaping into Heather's arms. "Stonefish are poisonous!" he cried. They screamed and fled as the stonefish swam sluggishly after them.

"Hey, come back! He's friendly! He's just excited to meet you, that's all!" Izzy called.

* * *

**Bloodthirsty Sea Anemones – Bridgette, Gwen, and Staci**

"And my great-great –"

"Argh! I can't take it any more!" Gwen slammed her hands to her ears, and swam towards the reef under them.

"Gwen, wait!" Bridgette followed.

"What's wrong?" inquired Staci, in tow.

"One more word! One more word and I'm going to lose it!" Gwen said.

"One more word about what?" asked Staci.

"Your stupid tall tales! You can't seriously expect anybody to believe them?"

"Oh, you mean the stories of my family? Yeah, my relatives have invented a lot of random things. For instance, my great-great aunt Bessie invented –"

"Argh! That's it! I'm going on my own!"

"Woah! Gwen!" Bridgette followed her. "I know you're annoyed, but it's too dangerous to go off on a reef alone. Trust me. We need to stick together, just for this challenge."

"Fine. But not if I'm going to have to put up with any more of these ridiculous stories!"

"Sure, that works." Bridgette turned to Staci. "Staci, do you think we could change the subject to something that doesn't have to do with our ancestors?"

"Oh! Um… sure." Staci looked uncomfortable as the three began to move forward once more. The group was silent for a few moments. Several times, Staci looked as if she had thought of something exciting, and opened her mouth, but then thought it over and was quiet. "What else is there to talk about?" she finally asked.

* * *

**Raging Starfish – Katie, Leshawna, and Zoey**

"Hey, look, guys!" Katie pointed down towards the seafloor. "A turtle!"

In between the coral outcrops, a green sea turtle was swimming, its flippers gently pumping up and down.

"Hey, nice!" Zoey swam down towards the animal. "Come on, little buddy. You're gonna take a swim with us, all right?" She recoiled as the turtle snapped at her. "Wah!"

"Hey! Now that's not cool!" Leshawna dashed in between the two, raising her fists. "All right, turtle, listen up! We can do this the easy way or the hard way, but you're comin' with us!"

The turtle jumped to its hind flippers, standing on the sandy seafloor, and kicked Leshawna across the face. The girl went flying into Zoey and Katie, and the turtle fled into the reef, cackling. The three girls stared after it.

* * *

Confession Cam

**Katie** Um, I know I failed biology class, but I'm pretty sure that turtles aren't supposed to know martial arts.

* * *

**Bloodthirsty Sea Anemones – Cameron, Owen, and Tyler**

"Whoo! We're gonna catch a shark!" Owen sang, as they swam through the reef.

"Yeah! We're gonna own that shark!" said Tyler, with gusto.

"We'll make it wish it never messed with us!"

"We'll show that shark who's boss!"

"We'll make it cry for its shark mama!"

"We'll call it mean names and make it feel bad!"

"Yeah! And then we'll apologize!"

"Yeah!"

"Yeah!" Owen halted, realizing something important. "But how do we find a shark?"

"Oh. I dunno." They turned to Cameron, trailing behind them.

"Well, if we really want to find a shark, our best bet would be attracting it somehow," said Cameron. "But messing with a shark in feeding mode will be extremely dangerous! Are you sure we don't want to go after something safer? For example, maybe our small, non-man-eating fish?"

"The reef fish? You're worried about that? Oh, pffft." Tyler waved him off. "Just watch this!" The sporto darted down towards the coral, trying to grab a small angelfish. The unconcerned animal flitted out of his reach. "Come on, fish, come to Tyler!" The fish swam into a crevice in the coral. "Ah-ha!"

"Tyler, stop!" cried Cameron.

Tyler shoved his hand into the hole, and screamed. He pulled back out, revealing that a moray eel had engulfed his arm up to his elbow.

Cameron and Owen gasped. "Are you all right?" asked Cameron.

"Oh, yeah. You call this an attack? I've seen newborn babies with more bite." The eel chomped down harder. "Ow! Ow-how! Ow!"

* * *

**Bloodthirsty Sea Anemones – Dawn, Harold, and Nathaniel**

Nathaniel panted as he once again made a swipe at the reef fish around him, all of which easily moved out of the way. "Ooh… wow… this is harder than I thought it would be."

"I think all this physical labor is making my heart beat funny," said Harold, equally exhausted. Nathaniel saw Dawn, further down the reef, meditating on the coral as bright fish swirled around her.

"Wait! Dawn!" he said. "You can speak to animals!"

"Hm? Why, yes, I can," Dawn smiled.

"Could you ask one if it would help us win the challenge?"

"Well, I suppose I could ask." Dawn turned to her fish friends. "My friends, would you be willing to help us win our challenge? We will return you to your home after it is done." The fish swirled around her, and she giggled. "They say yes. This little angel will join us." She held out her hand, a blue damselfish floating right above it.

"Yeah! Nice job!" said Nathaniel.

"Excellent," said Harold.

* * *

**Bloodthirsty Sea Anemones – Bridgette, Gwen, and Staci**

As Gwen and Bridgette chatted amongst themselves, Staci took up the rear, biting her lip as she fought an internal battle. Her eye was twitching, and her limbs would occasionally jerk in unnatural angles.

"Wow. So that's how the season of Supernatural ended?" asked Bridgette.

"Yeah, I know. Wicked, isn't it?"

"And what does Duncan think of your crush on Dean?"

Gwen turned red at Bridgette's smirk. "Hey! It's not a crush! It's…"

"My great-great uncle Carter invented Supernatural!" Staci suddenly burst out. "But he lost the screenplays for several years, until my aunt Doris found them in his attic and sold it to a studio to make it into a real TV show.

"And my great-great-great grandfather Oswald was a real live ghost hunter. Yeah, he also chased vampires and werewolves, but retired once they started getting emo and sparkly, because he said it was an insult to his manhood.

"And my great-great-great-great grandmother Elise discovered the Loch Ness monster. But instead of exposing it to the world, they bonded and she decided to let the majestic beast live in secrecy. And –"

"That's enough! I'm done here! I'm going on my own!" Gwen kicked away, and Bridgette rushed after her.

"Gwen! Wait! Please, it's not safe!"

Staci followed them. "Yeah, my great-great grandfather Peter once went out on a coral reef by himself. He probably wouldn't have made it, but a school of seahorses adopted him as one of their own and brought him food every day until a fishing boat picked him up."

"Argh, why do you keep at it?" said Gwen. "Everybody knows that your stupid tall tales are fake! Nobody believes you! Why won't you just stop already!"

"Gwen," said Bridgette.

Staci looked shocked. "I… but…"

"Your stories just drive everyone off the wall! Everyone knows you're lying, so why do you keep telling them?"

Staci looked hurt. "I… I don't know, I… Does everybody really think that?"

Bridgette, patting Gwen's arm, looked morosely at the compulsive liar. "Well… your stories do tend to annoy a lot of people."

"Oh. I… I'm sorry. I didn't realize…"

"Well it's about time you did!" snapped Gwen. "You're giving everyone headaches! Nobody wants to listen to your stupid stories! So why do you keep on telling them?"

Bridgette turned to her. "Why do you do it, anyway?"

Staci stared at the seafloor, reluctant. "Well… you see… I was never very popular in school. When I was little, I always just wanted to play with the other kids. But they always just saw me as that obnoxious overweight girl. They never shared their toys with me, and I was always chosen last in gym class. On the playground, while everybody would be playing tetherball or tag, I played alone. I always just wished I could play with the other kids."

Gwen uncrossed her arms, her and Bridgette's eyes filling with sympathy as they listened. Staci shifted. "As I got older, I began to pay attention to the popular kids. Why did everybody like them and not me? Why did they have friends? I began to realize it was because they were interesting. They had cool stuff, they had neat cars, or the newest video games, they were good snowboarders, or had cool skills that I didn't have. So I thought I might sound interesting if I made up a family history. You know, if my family invented or did a lot of cool things, people might think I was cool. So I started telling everyone these stories about my family. But at that point, I really just wanted someone to pay attention to me. Yeah."

Bridgette and Gwen were quiet for a minute, and then swam to Staci and hugged her. "Oh, Staci," said Bridgette.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you," said Gwen. "It wasn't really you. I'm just irked at being back on this show."

"Really? You don't hate me?" Staci's eyes filled with joy.

"No," said Gwen. "I guess you're all right."

"But Staci, you don't have to tell fake stories just to make friends," said Bridgette. "Real friends will like you for who you are."

"They will?"

"Yeah," said Gwen. "You think I was popular in school? Everybody saw me as that moody goth loser who never wants to do anything fun and is in a perpetual bad mood. But Bridgette and Leshawna are my friends, and they like me for who I am."

"What skills you have and what you can do don't matter," said Bridgette. "What really matters is someone's character. Who they are in here." Bridgette put her hand over her heart.

"Oh. Well I suppose that's cool," said Staci, shrugging. "I just wish I had some friends to try it out on."

"Well… we're your friends," said Bridgette.

"Really?"

"Yeah, you're cool," said Gwen. "You're nowhere near as bad as some of the other maniacs on this show."

"Omigosh, this is so awesome! Yeah, it's like the time my great-great-great… Uh, sorry. I guess I'll have to break that habit."

"You'll get over it," said Bridgette. "Now, come here." She and Gwen hugged Staci, and the compulsive liar looked happier than she had ever looked before.

"Wow. Thanks, guys. I'm sooo glad that I met you two." Staci gasped, and pointed out over the reef. "Wow, is that a sea turtle?"

A gargantuan, coal-black turtle was floating peacefully over the top of the coral, flapping its flippers like wings. The huge animal was longer than a human was tall, and dwarfed the three girls staring at it.

"Wow," said Bridgette. "That's a leatherback sea turtle. They're extremely rare!" She grinned at Gwen and Staci. "I think we just found one of our animals, guys." The others grinned back, and headed for the creature.

* * *

**Raging Starfish – Heather, Izzy, and Scott**

"Izzy, will you knock it off?" Heather snapped. "This isn't getting us anywhere!"

The wild redhead had been pursuing the hundreds of reef fish around them nonstop, with, not surprisingly, little success. She turned to Heather as she gave up chase on a pair of mollies. "What do you mean? I'm doing great! I've almost caught one, like, thirty times now!"

"There are reef fish everywhere, but we're not going to catch any of them at this rate," the snooty girl continued. "We need to think up a plan."

"Hey-hey, look! There are a couple of fish in here!" Izzy pointed to a pair of clownfish, peeking out from the waving tentacles of a sea anemone. "I'm gonna get 'em!"

Scott blanched. "Izzy, wait –"

Izzy laughed maniacally as she was shocked by the sea anemone. Her hair frizzed up for a second, though the water immediately returned it to its normal state. "Hey, that was fun!" She reached into the anemone again, laughing as she was shocked. "Watch out, little fishies, Izzy's comin' to get you!" She shocked herself a third time, interrupted only when Scott grabbed her waist and yanked her back.

Heather pinched the bridge of her nose. "Oh, why do I always end up with such idiots." She spotted movement further down the reef, and spied Nathaniel, Dawn, and Harold a distance away, a small blue fish slitting spiritedly around them. "Argh! The other team is beating us! How did they manage to get a fish?"

"They have nature girl with them! She can totally talk to animals!" Izzy said. "I can do that, too, but only to camels. Otherwise, I would have already won this challenge for us!"

Heather palmed her forehead. "The other team is gonna beat us at this rate!" A sly gleam appeared in her eyes. "Unless… I have an idea. You two, stay here and keep trying to catch that fish."

"What? You're ditching us?" Scott said.

"I'm going to give our team an advantage! You'll be thanking me for this later!" Heather departed, leaving Scott to cross his arms and frown.

"Hey, I caught a fish! Will this one count?"

Scott turned to see Izzy holding a highly-decorated, white-and-brown striped fish in her hands. "It's a lionfish!"

"Lionfish are poisonous too!" Scott screamed as the spiny creature pulled out of Izzy's grasp and charged after him.

* * *

**Raging Starfish – Geoff and Trent**

"Ow." Trent swam around a rock to where Geoff was sulking, rubbing his cheek tenderly. "I just saw a turtle and tried to grab it, but I swear it used tae-kwon-doe on me. You seen anything?"

"Only the depressing prospect of a bleak future between me and my once-loving girlfriend," the party dude replied.

"Aw, come on, man. I'm sure it's not all that bad. You two are going to be fine."

"Not so long as my heart feels as if it's being put through a meat mincer," said Geoff, putting both hands over his chest and looking to the sun streaming through the surface. He shed a single, theatrical tear.

Trent prepared to comfort him, but Geoff snapped to attention. "Wait. Do you see that?"

"What?" Trent looked around wildly.

"There! It's… _her_." His eyes narrowed.

In the distance, they could see Bridgette, Gwen, and Staci, all holding onto the shell of a massive black sea turtle as they guided it towards the ship. They were deeper, staying close to the seafloor.

"Hey, now Geoff, let's try not to do anything rash," said Trent. "Let's just think about this first." Geoff had vanished. "Geoff?'

"There we go. That's a good turtle." Gwen patted the back of the gentle giant, in awe of the majestic creature.

"Yes, she's a very pretty girl," said Bridgette.

"You can tell?" Staci asked.

"Yes. See this pink dot on her head?" Bridgette pointed to a small circle of pink, on the top of the creature's skull. "That means she's a female. Male leatherbacks don't have that."

"Cool," said Gwen. "Man, you're really right at home with this season, aren't you?"

Bridgette giggled. "I do appreciate the theme more than past seasons."

"Hey, Bridgette!" The shout brought the girl's attention to the top of a sandy rise, where Geoff was peering over a cluster of boulders. "You don't want me to be throwing challenges for you, huh? Well then, I hope you enjoy this!" He gave the rocks a mighty push, and they tumbled down the slope at the three girls.

Bridgette gasped, Gwen gasped, Staci gasped, and the turtle gasped. Since they had been hugging the seafloor, the four had to bolt to avoid getting hit. Sand clouded the water from the commotion, and the turtle fled into the reef.

"Yeah! Take that, you two-timer!" Geoff laughed as the girls swam out of the sand cloud.

"We said that we wouldn't throw challenges for each other! That didn't mean we would be jerks!" Bridgette yelled.

* * *

Confession Cam

**Bridgette** What is with Geoff today? First that prank at breakfast, and now he's just being plain rude! This isn't like him at all!

**Geoff** Yeah, take that, Bridgette! If our relationship means that little to you, then it'll mean that little to me, too!

**Bridgette** He never acts like a jerk! Geoff's one of the sweetest guys I've ever met! Well, at least that's what I thought. (She blows a bang out of her eyes.)

**Geoff** I thought we had something special, you know. A one-of-a-kind relationship. Something…

**Bridgette **…Real. But hey, if he cares more for this stupid contest than our three-year relationship…

**Geoff **…Then I guess that's how it's gonna be, huh? So all that we've been through…

**Bridgette** …Meant nothing. (She visibly droops, her anger replaced by sadness.) I was really thinking that we were meant for each other.

**Geoff** But… Geez, I must have made a mistake or something, man. I… man, I was even starting to consider how I should propose. (He remembers the camera's on him, and bursts into tears.)

**Trent** Things are going fine! We've just hit a little roadblock, is all. Everything's going… Great. (His eye twitches.)

* * *

**Bloodthirsty Sea Anemones – Cameron, Owen, and Tyler**

"So tell us, fellow winner," Owen said, elbowing Cameron. "How do we attract a shark?"

"Yeah, man! Spill the beans!" said Tyler.

Cameron gulped. "Well, if we're really going to go through with this, our best bet would be to use food of some kind. Contrary to popular belief, sharks don't like eating people. We're too skinny and bony for their tastes. Something that would draw in a shark would be a large, blubbery meal, high in fat content."

Owen kept staring eagerly, waiting for Cameron to finish. He was unaware of the other two eyeing him.

"Well, I meant you, Owen," Cameron muttered.

"Oh!" said Owen. "Oh, man. You mean, you want _me_ to be bait? Oh, well. Okay. That's… awesome!" He pumped his fist. "Whoo! Livin' the life of danja! Yeah-ha-ha! Whoo! Aw, man."

"You don't have to do it if you don't want to," said Cameron. "But if we're really going to try to catch a shark, that would probably be our best bet."

"Are you kidding? This is the kind of thing I live for! Bring it on, shark!" He tried to exchange a determined high-five with Tyler, but didn't pay attention and smacked the jock in the face. "Yeah!"

"Well, if you're really okay with that," shrugged Cameron. "Then here's what we'll have to do."

* * *

"Oh, no! Oh, help! I'm drowning! I sure hope any sharks don't hear me and come to investigate my blubbery deliciousness!" Owen was at the surface, splashing and flailing.

"Good job, just keep going at it!" said Cameron, hovering a few feet underneath the large boy. "Splashing and frantic movements sound like an animal in distress, which means an easy dinner for any predators in the area." He turned to Tyler. "Now, we need to have a plan ready for if a shark does come."

"Plan? We don't need a plan!" Tyler laughed. "Just leave this glorified fish to me, and we'll have it bagged."

"Tyler, it's crucial that we have a method to detain the shark so that it doesn't cause any harm to us!"

"Yeah, but that won't even matter if we can't find a shark in the first place. Do you have any more ways to convince one to show its ugly mug?"

"Hey, guys!" Owen said, floating above them. "Pee attracts sharks, doesn't it?"

"Actually, that's just a myth," Cameron quickly said. "There's been no sound scientific evidence to prove that."

"Oh. Well, you should have told me sooner, because I already went."

Cameron and Tyler gagged and paddled away from Owen. "Oh, gross, dude!" cried Tyler.

* * *

**Raging Starfish – Katie, Leshawna, and Zoey**

"Guys! Guys, look!" Katie, peering over a sea fan, waved Zoey and Leshawna over. "There it is." A green sea turtle floated over a patch of seaweed, munching on the algae.

"I think that's the same one as earlier," said Zoey. "Maybe we shouldn't mess with it."

"What, you think a lil' old turtle's too much for Leshawna?" The sassy girl smirked. "Don't fret. I've got a plan."

The turtle bit off a chunk of seaweed, chewing slowly, as it did most things in its peaceful turtle life. Suddenly, the top of the seaweed field began to sway, as something moved through the marine foliage. The reptile wiped a stray piece of seaweed from its beak and narrowed its eyes.

The mystery being weaved through the seaweed until it was right below the turtle, and Zoey leapt out. "Gotcha, turtle!"

Reacting well before she was in reach, the turtle flipped around and sped in the opposite direction, flying over the field. It smirked as Zoey kicked after it, left well behind. However, as it passed between two large rocks, Katie and Leshawna leapt out from behind.

The two girls grabbed hold of its shell as wrestled it to the seafloor. Zoey joined a moment later, helping to pin the reptile, and the fighting animal was completely obscured from view. Suddenly, Katie, Leshawna, and Zoey were blasted backwards, as they were thrown into the rocks.

The sea turtle stood with its back flippers on the seafloor. It got into a fighting stance, and gave them a little 'come-hither' gesture with the tip of its flipper.

"Maybe we should find another turtle," groaned Katie.

"Awh, heck no," growled Leshawna. "It's a fight you want, huh? Then it's a fight you'll get!"

Ignoring her teammate's protests, Leshawna leapt onto the turtle, wrestling as they locked equally venomous glares. They tumbled across the seafloor, kicking clouds of silt into the water, scattering flounders and stingrays.

"Leshawna!" Katie and Zoey cried, racing after her.

Leshawna pinned the turtle to the seafloor. "It's okay, girls! I got it!" The turtle flipped her over, kicking her across the reef and into a boulder. Leshawna groaned, and glared at the animal. "You think that's enough to stop me? I've got eight siblings at home! I've faced worse just trying to get them in bed!" she charged.

The turtle scooped up several sea stars, urchins, and clams from the seabed. Grinning, it began to throw them at her, one after another. Leshawna cried out and bent in every which way, trying to dodge the onslaught of marine invertebrates. Katie screamed as several stray shots caught onto the edges of her swimsuit and pinned her to a rock.

The turtle widened its eyes, seeing that the girl had dodged its attacks. Leshawna grinned, and tackled it.

The two went flying over the seafloor, corals speeding past them. The turtle gave Leshawna a flipper-slap across the face. Leshawna tried to punch it, but it retracted its head into the safety of its shell.

They collided into a mountain of coral, the back of the turtle's shell pressed against the red outcrop. Gathering its strength, the turtle kicked against the coral with all its might, sending the two grappling foes sky-rocketing toward the surface.

A seagull with a soda wrapper around its neck was sitting on the top of the water, minding its own business. In an explosion of spray, Leshawna and the turtle flew out of the sea, knocking the seagull far into the distance, and rose into the air like a breaching whale. The turtle managed to kick out of Leshawna's grasp. As the girl fell back towards the water, she saw it pull all of its limbs into its shell, which started to whirl around like a frisbee.

Leshawna fell into the sea, sinking towards the reef. The turtle shell suddenly burst through the surface, slicing through the water as it flew towards her like a living ninja star. Leshawna gasped, and ducked. The shell flew over her head and collided into an outcropping of pink coral, filling the water with sand and bits of coral akin to an explosion. The pink-colored mushroom cloud enveloped the immediate area, hiding Leshawna from view.

Zoey and Katie arrived upon the scene. "Leshawna?" Katie asked cautiously.

All was still, as the coral cloud began to settle. The two girls bit their lips nervously.

Leshawna and the turtle flew out of the cloud, locked in battle, nearly bowling over Katie and Zoey as the girls leapt out of the way. "You think you got game?" Leshawna was wailing. "You got nothin'!" She and the turtle slipped over the edge of the reef, on a straight drop into the ocean's endless abyss – the reef's drop-off.

"Leshawna!" Katie and Zoey screamed.

Leshawna grimaced as she flew past the near-vertical wall, the black of the deep ocean looming beneath her. The turtle grinned wickedly, its flippers tightening around her shoulders. She realized it was driving her deeper. "Oh, no you don't!" Drawing upon her last reserves of strength, Leshawna placed her feet on the turtle's underbelly and kicked, tearing the animal off of her and sending it flying into the wall. It shook its head, and the two stood on a small undersea ledge, ten feet apart, eyeing the other warily.

Leshawna panted. "You given up yet?"

The turtle grinned that vicious grin, raised its flippers, and… a rock fell on its head, knocking it out cold. Trent and Geoff stood behind it. "Whoo!" said Geoff.

Leshawna panted and grinned. "Thanks. You two came at just the right time. Now quick, let's grab this turtle and get it into the aquarium until it wakes up!"

* * *

"Excellent job, team! We're the first ones to get one of our animals!" Brick saluted Dawn, Harold, and Nathaniel as the trio approached with a fish in tow.

Dawn opened the small door and ushered her fish friend in. "In here, my precious creature. Thank you for your help."

"Great," said Brick. "So all we need is the shark and the…"

"Quick! Open the cage!" came a hoarse, female voice. Gwen, Staci, and Bridgette swam towards them, guiding the gigantic, black, leatherback turtle. Brick opened the door, and the mammoth reptile managed to squeeze its shell through the frame. The girls sighed in relief.

"It took us ten minutes to chase that thing down again," said Bridgette. "But, we got it! And all we need now is the shark!" She high-fived Gwen, and suddenly lost her luster. "Which is gonna be the fun part."

On the other side of the ship, Mike eyed the Anemones, and looked back at his empty tank nervously. "Come on, guys, where are you?"

* * *

**Raging Starfish – Izzy and Scott**

Scott cursed as he leapt for a fat frogfish, which boredly sidestepped as he smashed into the reef.

"Yeah-ha-ha, chasing fish is so much fun!" Izzy cheered, chasing a pack of minnows around a rock.

"This isn't getting us anywhere!" Scott complained. "Maybe we should try going after one of the other animals."

"We could do the shark!" cried Izzy.

"No! Nooo, nonononononono." Scott waved his hands, and then hugged his arms and shook. "Please. I don't think I can handle facing a shark right now. It's way too soon."

Izzy shrugged. "Hey, whatever."

Scott eyed a small, colorful fish darting along the reef a few inches from him. "On second thought," he said slyly, bracing himself, "maybe we can stick… with the fish!" He tried to grab the tiny animal, which darted out of the way. Scott scraped his hand against the coral. "Ow!"

"What? You okay?" Izzy said.

Scott grasped his hand, wincing as Izzy came over. "I'm fine. I just scraped myself a bit."

"That's blood! There's blood in the water!" Izzy pointed to the small wisp of red rising from his finger.

"I'm fine! It's just a little cut!"

"Oh, I don't know about that, redhead kid. Did you know sharks can sense a single drop of blood in an area as large as a swimming pool?"

"Shut it, Izzy!"

"It's true! You just practically rang the dinner bell, buddy!"

"No shark is going to care about a drop of blood that small!" Scott turned defiantly away from her, coming face-to-face with a shark, with an expression as surprised as his. The shark then gave him a huge, toothy grin.

Scott's scream was loud enough to cause the speakers in their masks to crackle. "Run! Go! Swim! Yeah!" Izzy cheered her support as Scott paddled desperately from the carnivorous fish.

* * *

**Raging Starfish – Geoff, Katie, Leshawna, Trent, and Zoey**

The five Starfish hurried through the water, each grasping a portion of the unconscious turtle's shell. "Hurry! Go!" cried Leshawna.

The ship came into view, looming up ahead. They could make out the large leatherback sea turtle and small flitting fish in the Anemone's aquarium, and the emptiness and lonely seawater in theirs. "Oh, no! The other team's way ahead of us, dudes!" Geoff cried.

"Quick! You two! Go try to find another one of our animals!" Leshawna instructed. "We'll take care of this guy!"

"Sounds like a plan," said Trent.

"Peace!" Geoff cried. They let go and swam in the opposite direction, leaving Zoey, Katie, and Leshawna with the turtle.

Mike saw them coming, and in great relief yanked open the aquarium door for them to throw the unconscious reptile in. "Good job, guys!" he said, hugging Zoey. "But the other team's in the lead! Do you know where the other groups are?"

"Haven't seen 'em, now come on, lovebirds, let's get a move on!" Leshawna left with Katie and grabbed Zoey's collar, yanking her away from Mike as they headed back towards the reef.

* * *

**Bloodthirsty Sea Anemones – Dawn, Harold, and Nathaniel**

"Oh, man," groaned Nathaniel. "The other group got the turtle, and we got the fish. Do you know what that means?"

"That the denizens of the sea are no match for our mad skills?" asked Harold.

"No. That means we have to get the shark! How – on earth – are we supposed to capture a flipping shark, man? I like my limbs! I don't want to mess with a ticked-off shark!"

Dawn suddenly gasped, and smiled serenely. "What? What's wrong?" said Nathaniel.

"Nothing. I simply believe we have found a solution to our problem." Dawn swam over an outcrop, leaving Harold and Nathaniel to shrug at each other and follow her. As they reached the top, a majestic, gargantuan creature met their eyes. A sixty-foot long, spotted whale shark floated over the top of the reef, a small squadron of remoras following it. Nathaniel and Harold's jaws dropped.

Dawn giggled, holding onto its dorsal fin. "It's a whale shark! Still a shark, but completely gentle and harmless. Come, have a look!"

Awed, the two boys swam up to the giant creature, which was pumping its tail calmly as it surveyed its underwater kingdom. "Wicked," Harold said. "Such a noble beast."

"This is amazing," said Nathaniel, stroking its side. "Dawn. Do you think you could ask it if it will help us?"

"Sure," said Dawn. She swam to the front of the animal, right above its massive, gaping jaws. "Excuse me, gentle friend. Would you be kind enough as to lend us your assistance?"

The whale shark studied her, and then swished its tail and turned, heading towards the boat. "Oh yeaaah!" cried Nathaniel, holding onto its dorsal fin for the ride. "This is so awesome!"

* * *

Brick stood – er, floated – guard in front of the Anemone's aquarium, the sea turtle and damselfish swimming in the glass box behind him. Heather peered over a rock, spying on the cadet with a vicious smirk.

Brick hummed a battle hymn to himself, looking down at the reef and back at his aquarium. He smiled a little upon the sights of the peaceful turtle and cheerfully flitting fish, and turned back around. He jumped at the sight of Heather in front of him. "Woah! Heather?"

"Step aside, Brick-for-brains, unless you want me to give you a reason to never get into the water again!"

"It's my duty to inform you, ma'am, that though I get no pleasure from the thought of fighting a woman, I will do what I must to do my duty to my team."

Heather punched him in the eye and kicked him in the groin, leaving the poor man to whimper as she raced to the aquarium and yanked open the door. "Come out, creatures of the sea! Be free!" The turtle and the fish swam in the opposite direction, huddling against the glass. "Hello, I'm setting you free, you stupid animals! Get you butts in gear and get out here!" She clambered into the aquarium, trying to grab the animals, who flitted out her reach. "Why won't you just get out already?"

Brick clambered into the doorway, clutching at his eye. "Dawn talked to them. They want to stay to help her out."

Heather groaned, and started chasing the animals around the aquarium, as Brick watched, unsure of what to do.

"Hey, Brick." He turned to see Gwen behind him. "Staci thinks she dropped an earring around here, have you seen any – what happened to you?" She noticed Heather flopping about in their tank. "And what's she doing in there?"

"I tried to stop her!" Brick admonished. "She overpowered me! She's trying to set the animals free, but I'm not sure they really want to go."

Gwen shook her head. "Yeah, that one's a witch. But I'll show you how to handle her." The goth swam to the aquarium door.

Heather saw this. "Hey! Wait! Don't you dare!"

Gwen slammed the door shut, locking Heather in the tank. Heather pounded the plexiglass, shouting a wide range of obscenities that had to be bleeped out for television viewing. "Let me out, weird goth girl!" she said, after running out of curses. "You're going to regret this!"

"Why?" smirked Gwen. "It seems fitting that you should be locked in a cage. I think you'll be good in there for a while." She left, Staci and Bridgette smirking at the queen bee before following.

"I will destroy you!" Heather wailed, making Brick wince.

* * *

**Raging Starfish – Geoff and Trent**

Panting heavily, Geoff and Trent leapt at the clouds of marine fish swirling around the reef, their efforts to capture one fruitless. "Oh, man. How are we going to do this?" Trent cried in frustration.

"I know, man. All this hard work is making me famished." Geoff reached into his swimsuit pocket and pulled out a ziploc bag containing a sandwich.

"You brought a sandwich?" Trent asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, dude! I packed some lunch in case I felt the urge to chow!" Geoff took off his regulator, took a bite out of the sandwich, and spit it out. "Aw, man! Way too soggy for my tastes, dude." Something bumped his rump, and he turned to see a gigantic grouper behind him. The party guy cried out and leapt into Trent's arms. "Dude! That's a huge fish!"

The grouper swam around them, and nudged Geoff's arm. "I think it wants your sandwich," Trent said.

"Really?" Geoff reached the sandwich out to the grouper, and the fish snapped it up heartily. It then swam in a circle around the two, nudging them and wagging its tail in a friendly manner.

"Aw," said Geoff, stepping out of Trent's arms. "You're a friendly guy, aren't ya?" He scratched the grouper's gills, and it thumped its tail in joy. "Aw! Can we keep it, Trent?"

"Well, we're on a reef, and it's a fish, so I'd say it qualifies!"

"Sweet, dude! Let's get this bro back to our aquarium! Come on, fish homie!" Trent and Geoff swam back towards the aquarium, Geoff leading the happy grouper on.

* * *

**Raging Starfish – Izzy and Scott**

Izzy laughed maniacally as she rode the shark's dorsal fin, the carnivorous fish chasing Scott through the reef. "No! Go away!" screamed Scott, as the shark banged on the coral arch he was cowering underneath. He screamed and darted, circling a crag of coral as the shark pursued him around it.

"Fear not, teammate, I'll save you!" Izzy cackled and pounded her fists against the shark's back, though the animal didn't seem to realize that she was there. "Don't worry! He's tiring out! I can feel it!" Her voice was barely audible over Scott's screaming. "Any second now!"

* * *

**Bloodthirsty Sea Anemones – Cameron, Owen, and Tyler**

"Oh, man… Oh, help… I'm drowning… I bet I sure would be tasty to any sharks in the area… Come on out, sharkies!" Owen chuckled half-heartedly. He was still splashing at the surface, but his enthusiasm was waning as the sharkless minutes passed.

Cameron and Tyler were stationed beneath him, hiding behind the coral as they waited for a shark to appear. "I don't think it's working, dude," whispered Tyler.

"We do seem to be unsuccessful in our attempts," said Cameron. "Maybe we need to try a different approach." A shadow suddenly passed over them, silencing their chatter. A dark shape emerged from the recesses of the reef, moving like a living torpedo. The shark was sleeker and larger than the usual Wawanakwa variety, with a blunt, triangular head and a sheer white underbelly contrasting with its grey hide. Nearly twenty feet long, the giant of the reef was heading straight towards Owen, coolly and collectively.

Owen saw the aquatic assailant. "Alexander the great, that's a great white!" He screamed, splashing away.

"Owen! Run!" the other two screamed, hysterical. But the shark was too close. Honing in on Owen, the shark rolled back its eyelids, opened its conical jaws, revealing its pink gums and many rows of triangular teeth, and…

Owen farted in terror, directly into the shark's mouth. The great white halted its assault, its black eyes wide in apparent surprise, and rolled belly-up to the surface.

Tyler and Cameron stared for a moment, unable to register what had happened, and then leapt into action. "Quick! Grab it!" Tyler said. Still shaken from the ordeal, the three boys surrounded the fish.

"As long as we keep it on its back, the shark will remain in tonic immobility, a trance-like state that will keep it from attacking," instructed Cameron. "But we still need to get it into the aquarium as soon as we can."

"Are you okay, dude?" Tyler asked Owen. The big teen was shivering profusely, with lines under his eyes and a manic smile plastered to his face.

"Okay? Yeah! I'm okay! What an adrenaline rush!" Owen let out one of his trademark 'Whoo-hoos,' though much weaker than normal, and wrapped his arms around himself. "Oh, Mother, I want you so much right now."

"Come on, guys, hurry!" Cameron called. He and Tyler grabbed the shark's pectoral fins, and Owen its crescent-shaped tail, and the three began to transport the predator to the aquarium.

* * *

"There you go, Fish Homie! Right in there!" Geoff patted his ichthyologic friend as the grouper joined the unconscious turtle in the Starfish's aquarium. Geoff then high-fived Leshawna, who was also outside of the tank with Zoey, Katie, Mike, and Trent.

On the Anemone's side of the boat, the contestants were having less luck. Dawn's newfound whale shark friend had managed to squeeze its head through the aquarium doorway, but the rest of its body floated outside as the leatherback turtle, the damselfish, and a seriously ticked-off Heather watched from within.

"We probably should have thought this through more," mused Nathaniel.

The speakers in their masks suddenly crackled as they picked up an ear-splitting scream. Scott shot over the reef, all four of his limbs twirling like windmills as he paddled madly from the shark in hot pursuit, which Izzy was riding like an ecstatic cowgirl. "Open the cage!" he screamed.

Mike opened the door to the aquarium, and the shark chased Scott inside, Izzy leaping off as they went. The fish pursued him in a lap around the tank, until Scott got to the door again and darted out. Katie slammed it shut just in time, and the shark slammed its nose into the wall. "You okay?" the timid girl asked.

"Will you let go of me?" Zoey said, Scott having leapt into her arms.

"That's it! We've got all three of our animals! Let's go!" Leshawna flew up towards the surface, ripping her regulator off as she reached air. "We got our animals! Quick! Get your butts in gear and get a move on!"

On deck, Cody, Noah, and Alejandro jumped at the sound of Leshawna's voice, Noah dropping his book, Alejandro spilling his recently-refilled drink over his front, and Cody throwing his own drink into the air (which also landed on Alejandro). "Come on, guys, let's go!" Cody declared, leaping out of his chair.

Three strong wires attached to the aquarium rose out of the water, wrapped around one of the mast's yards, and dangled down to deck for the non-diving contestants to grab. Noah, Cody, and Alejandro each grabbed a wire, pulling with all their might.

"Yeah! We are so going to win this!" Zoey high-fived Leshawna, as the Anemones watched on in horror.

"We're going to lose!" Nathaniel cried. "Where are Tyler, Cameron, and Owen?"

As the Raging Starfish's aquarium began to rise, its resident seagoing reptile stirred. The green sea turtle opened its eyes to see the upside-down grin of a shark filling its vision. The predator opened its jaws maliciously.

The divers jumped when the shark was slammed into the wall of the aquarium. The turtle stood before it, flipper raised in a fist. The reptile turned its gaze to see Leshawna, who could have sworn its eyes glowed red. The reptile swam to the wall and slammed its head against it, causing the glass to start to splinter. "It's going to break out!" Leshawna screamed.

"What's taking them so long?" said Katie. The aquarium had barely risen, and was listing heavily to one side.

On deck, Alejandro pulled strongly on his wire, reeling in one side of the aquarium, but Noah and Cody were having less luck. The two scrawny boys had teamed up to try to pull one wire, but their small body weight and lack of muscles was regrettably working against them. Alejandro grabbed both of his teammates, tossed them across the deck, and took up all three wires, pulling with all his might.

* * *

Confession Cam

**Alejandro** The only good thing that came from my transformation was enhanced strength. I was quite strong before, but with the addition of my robotic body, almost no mortal man can stand up to my strength.

* * *

The aquarium began rising, slowly but steadily, as the shark cowered in the corner, the turtle smashed its skull against the glass, and the grouper swam behind the other two, looking unsure of what to make of the situation. The Starfish divers swam underneath the aquarium and pushed, of course wanting to win the challenge but mostly concerned about the homicidal turtle escaping.

Meanwhile, Dawn, Gwen, Brick, Nathaniel, Staci, Harold, and Bridgette pushed against the backside of the whale shark, trying to get its sizable rump through the doorway. "Come on, buddy!" Brick groaned. "You can do it! Suck it in!"

"Hey, guys! Look what we got!" Owen's voice was like music to their ears. The Anemone divers looked up to see Tyler, Cameron, and Owen swimming towards them, carrying an unconscious great white between themselves.

"Excellent! Whoo-hoo!" the contestants cheered. At Dawn's prodding, the whale shark pulled its head out of the doorway, and the three threw the great white in and slammed the door. Heather pounded against the glass, panicked, and Tyler opened the door to let her out.

"Great load of help you losers were!" the snobby girl snarled, joining her team in helping push their aquarium.

Harold broke the surface of the water and shouted, "Our aquarium's ready! Let's go, guys!"

Dakota, B, and Lindsay leapt into action. They each grabbed a wire, and two of them pulled with all their might. Lindsay simply held the rope in her hands, looking at it in puzzlement. "Okay, what do I do with this again?"

But their aquarium was already rising, due to B and Dakota's valiant efforts. B was strong, but even he could not compare to Dakota, whose strength outmatched that of ten men. As she strained, the aquarium began to rise towards the surface. However, the Starfish were still in the lead.

"Heave!" cried Tyler, as the divers pushed against the underside of their aquariums. "Heave!"

The whale shark swam in circles around them, restless. "What's that, my friend?" Dawn halted her pushing to confront it. "You still want to help? Why, of course you may help us!"

The whale shark nodded its head in apparent joy, opened its jaws, and swam to the other side of the boat. The Starfish divers barely had time to scream before the gargantuan beat engulfed them all.

Dawn blanched. "That's not what I meant!"

With his extra help now gone, Alejandro strained against the wires, a couple screws coming loose from the robot's shoulders. While his strength was enhanced by his suit, it was not infinite, and he grunted underneath the pressure. He looked over his shoulder to see how the others were doing.

Lindsay watched as B and Dakota pulled on their wires determinedly, but even B's natural strength couldn't compete with the ferocity of the mutant. The genius realized his teammate was practically pulling up the aquarium on her own, and shrugged and stepped back.

Dakota grunted as she pulled. The aquarium first broke the surface of the water, and the Anemone divers cheered.

"This is not going to work!" Alejandro grumbled. "You two!" He directed at Noah and Cody. "Do something!"

Noah had gone back to reading his book, as Cody looked unsure. "Oh? And what do you suppose we do, Iron Lung?" Noah droned.

"Distract the other team somehow!" Alejandro's arms were shaking, the weight of the aquarium catching up to him. "Think of something! You're supposed to be the genius!"

"Oh? I'm not the one who goes about proclaiming that I have an I.Q. of one sixty-three."

"Do something, or else our team will know who to vote off if we lose!"

"Maybe we should do something, dude," said Cody.

Noah sighed, shutting his book. "Fine. Just realize that I'm usually above such cruel tactics." He turned to Dakota. "Hey, Dakota, look! Sierra's back, and this time she brought Sam with her!"

Dakota squealed in glee. "Sam?" She dropped the wire, and the aquarium suddenly sank, causing the Anemone divers to cry out in alarm. "Sam! Where's Sam?"

Chris emerged from the captain's quarters, dressed in a bathrobe. "Just what on earth is going on out here?"

Dakota picked up the man by his collar and stuck her face into his. "Sam! Where's Sam?" When she did not get a response from the surprised host, she flung him over her shoulder, tossing him overboard. "Sam! Where are you!"

"Oh boy, she looks really upset," said Cody, as fat tears rolled down the mutant's face.

Noah closed his book and sidestepped to the door that led belowdecks. "Right. I wasn't expecting her to have quite that response. If you excuse me, I'd better find a good hiding place before she remembers to rip my limbs off." He darted off.

B handed a wire to Lindsay and grabbed one himself, desperately trying to pull his team's aquarium back up. Lindsay tugged at hers, wanting to help, though the bombshell wasn't really sure what she was doing. Satisfied, Alejandro redoubled his efforts, reeling in the wires, and the aquarium broke the surface.

Underneath the ship, the whale shark barfed up the Raging Starfish in a green cloud of half-digested phytoplankton, the teenagers dazed and blinking in shock.

"Good job, my aquatic friend," cooed Dawn, scratching the shark's gills affectionately. "Though I appreciate you enthusiasm, there are ways to help that don't require devouring the opposition. Come, I'll show you!" she led the animal back to her own team, leaving the Starfish to float and blink in shock.

"Let's do it again!" laughed Izzy.

"I think I'm gonna throw up," moaned Zoey.

"We don't have time for that! Come on, team, let's go!" Heather snapped the others to attention, and they swam back to their aquarium, pushing the underside. It had now risen halfway above the water.

The Anemone's aquarium had fallen back to the starting point, as the divers pushed against it desperately. "Come on, team! We can still do this! Whoo!" Nathaniel cheered, and then paused to take a breather. "Man. This is harder than it looks."

"Hey, guys. Need some help?" Dawn returned, the whale shark flanking her like an affectionate dog. "Go ahead, precious creature!"

The animal moaned, and swam underneath the aquarium, pushing it upwards with its snout. The divers watched, awestruck, and then cheered and joined the creature, pushing their aquarium towards the surface.

The Starfish aquarium was pulled fully out of the water, and the divers let go, watching it rise up the side of the boat. Enraged, the turtle slammed its head against the glass with new fervor, almost half of the wall now covered by a spiderweb-like crack. Alejandro strained against the wires, his arms shaking, and let out an inhuman wail.

Chris angrily climbed back on deck and snatched the towel that Chef was offering. "Give me that!" he snapped, drying himself off. He turned to the camera. "And it looks like the Raging Starfish are in the lead, with the Bloodthirsty Sea Anemones right behind!"

The Anemones managed to push their tank to the surface, but with nowhere else to go, they couldn't help any further. "Come on, men! Be strong!" Brick called to the deck.

B realized, despite his strength, he couldn't do this alone (or with Lindsay, but that was virtually the same thing). Biting his lip, he grabbed a wire and ran it to Dakota, who was opening barrels by the mast as she continued her search for Sam. "What wrong, B?" she asked when the burly boy tapped her leg and handed her the wire. He pointed to the Starfish's side, and she saw that their aquarium had already risen halfway over the railing. Dakota gasped. "Oh, no!" The mutant ran to their side, grabbed all three wires, and gave them an enormous tug. Their aquarium came flying out of the water, but the ferocity of her pull caused the yard that the wires were wrapped around to snap like a toothpick, and the Anemone divers had to dodge the tank as it fell back into the water and sunk like a rock. Lindsay, B, and Dakota stared at the now-limp wires in the mutant's hands. "Oops," said Dakota.

Alejandro dropped the Starfish's tank onto the ship. The glass finally broke from the turtle's efforts, spilling water over the deck and carrying its animals back into the sea (the turtle managed to give the players on board a very rude hand signal with its flipper before it went over). "And the Raging Starfish win!" Chris declared.

The Starfish divers, having clambered on deck, screamed and cheered in joy. Trent and Geoff bumped fists, Izzy jumped on Mike's shoulders, and Heather gave Alejandro a well-deserved kiss. The Anemones, meanwhile, looked glum and depressed as their divers climbed out of the water. "And BSAs – what can I say? You guys screwed this one up," Chris chided. "Meet on deck after dinner tonight. You losers are voting someone off."

* * *

Confession Cam

**Bridgette** Aw, man. Today's been a really hard day. Our team lost the challenge, several people nearly got eaten by sharks or maimed by angry sea turtles, and Geoff's acting really weird. I was hoping that an ocean-based season would be fun, but so far, it's proven otherwise.

**Nathaniel** Well, that stunk. I'm just worried about getting booted off first, you know? I'm the new guy, and the others might see me as an acceptable loss. (He sighs, rubbing the back of his neck.)

**Dakota** (She is crying heavily, her face in her hands) Dakota mess up everything! Dakota going to be first one voted off, she knows it! Oh well… Sam, if you are watching this, at least I'll be seeing you soon!

* * *

The kids began to shuffle below deck, the Anemones grim and sulking with the Starfish still jovial, laughing and high-fiving one another. A high-pitched cry that only a fangirl could muster suddenly washed over the deck. "CODY!"

All eyes turned to the stern as Sierra, sopping, climbed over the railing. "Cody! I made it back, don't worry! I'm here to protect you from Gwen!" She made a dive for the surprised geek, but was caught and held back by Chef.

"How many times do you have to be told no?" said Chris, as the superfan struggled to break free. "Sierra lose! Sierra not on show! Sierra leave and go back to where she came from!"

"No! I won't leave my Cody! Let go of me!"

"Hey, Sierra." Cody walked up to them, though still keeping a safe ten-foot distance between himself and raging superfan. "You don't have to worry. I've kept my word, and I haven't hit on Gwen at all. Maybe relaxing at that nice beach resort will help you to chill out."

"No!" Sierra snarled, causing Cody to draw back. She foamed at the mouth. "I can't lose you again!"

"Why don't you let the psycho fangirl on our team?" Heather said, tossing her hair back. "That will make up for the extra player you unfairly gave our opposition."

The watching Anemones protested this. "Are you forgetting your team won today's challenge?" shouted Nathaniel.

Irritated, Chris looked between the heaving Sierra and the glaring Heather. "Fine. If I do that, will you finally stop your whining?"

Content, Heather nodded. "All right!" said Chris, deaf to the Anemone's protests. "Sierra's on the Starfish! Whatever!" Chef let go of the girl. Cody barely had time to open his mouth before he was tackled, Sierra squealing in glee.

* * *

Confession Cam

**Cody** After I was placed on the show alone with Gwen, Sierra totally reverted to her old behavior! She's practically forgotten everything we talked about respect, personal boundaries, and not going through my underwear when I'm sleeping! I can't go through another season like that! I can't do it! I can't! (There is a knock on the door.)

**Sierra **(Outside) Cody! Are you in there? I haven't seen you since you took off! I need to catch up with my Cody-kins! (Cody looks alarmed and, with nowhere else to go, dives head-first into the toilet. However, since it's a toilet, he can't fit very well, and his legs stick out above the seat.)

**Trent **All right. I know I may not be acting quite like myself lately. Although I'm not quite ready to tell the other competitors what's eating me, I feel like I at least owe it to the fans to let them know what's wrong. You see – (Cody's head emerges form the toilet, gasping for air. Trent screams. Cody screams. Trent screams again, and runs out of the confessional.)

* * *

Tensions on the ship were high, now that the players knew that one of their own would be gone by night's end. However, this was most easily observed by the angry shouts rising from belowdecks.

"What do you mean, 'it's me'?" Geoff cried, throwing his hands in the air. "I'm not the one showing that our relationship means nothing to them!"

"What are you talking about?" Bridgette cried, exasperated. "I didn't say anything like that! You've just been a major jerk all day!"

"Oh, yeah. I'm the jerk. Because I thought what we had going was real. Is that it? Is our relationship nothing more than a title to you? Am I stupid for thinking it was something more than that?"

Bridgette snorted. "If that's how you think I feel, then yes, you are stupid! Very stupid!"

Drawn by the shouting, Trent stood outside the doorway of the room that the couple were in, worried that his worst fears might be coming true.

"Oh! I'm stupid!" roared Geoff. "So I am stupid for thinking that there was love between me and my girlfriend! I see!"

"Love? Of course there was love. Geoff, I loved you more than any man I'd ever met before." Her voice softened at this, and Geoff's stony glare, though facing away from the surfer in a show of defiance, crumbled. "You mean the world to me, but… why are you acting so vile today? It's nothing like you."

"I'm not acting vile! You've been riding my back all day!"

"Geoff, I doubt you even know what the word vile means."

"Oh-ho, and what's that supposed to mean, Malibu Barbie?" Trent bit his lip in worry.

Bridgette cried out in indignation. "Excuse me? What is that supposed to imply?"

"Like you care," said Geoff, turning away.

"So what, are you taking a page out of Duncan's book now? I know you're friends with the guy, but I wouldn't expect his meanness to rub off on someone like you."

"Oh, now you're bringing my friends into this, huh? Well two can play at that game! Leshawna's… um… not a very nice person, and Gwen's… um… also not a nice person! Aw, who am I kidding, they're cool, but you're still acting really lame!"

They turned away from each other, crossing their arms and pouting. After a few moments' silence, Bridgette was the first to speak. "Well if that's really what you think, Geoff, then maybe we need to take a break from each other until the heat of the competition wears off."

"Fine," said Geoff. "Let's."

Trent couldn't stand it any longer. He burst into the room. "Wait! Stop!"

The two stared at him. "Trent?" said Geoff.

"It was me," the musician said. "It's my fault. I gave Bridgette a ham sandwich this morning, forgetting that she was vegetarian. I told Geoff that you said you would break up with him, Bridgette, if he threw any challenges, so that he wouldn't try to help your team unfairly win. I interfered every time you two tried to face each other, so you never got clear explanations about what was going on. The entire day, I've been working behind your backs, screwing up everything."

Geoff and Bridgette stared, shocked. Geoff had a look on his face like that of a hurt puppy.

"I just… I didn't want you guys to go down the same road that I did. When I found out that you were on opposite teams, I saw myself in your shoes. When Gwen and I had been placed on opposite teams all those years ago, I acted too weird trying to keep our relationship healthy and ended up ruining it. And you two are so happy together, I wanted to make sure that the same didn't happen to you. So I tried to make sure you both were still getting along, but competing normally and healthily. But instead, I just hurt you. And I can't stand to see you two like this."

Trent hung his head. "So there you have it. It was me. I'm sorry I put you through this. I can understand how you both must feel – hurt, angry, betrayed. I don't blame you. I just wanted you to know the truth. I'll leave now." He turned to go, but a hand grabbed his shoulder and turned him around. He expected to see a fist flying toward his face, but instead Bridgette wrapped him in a warm hug.

"Wha?" The musician was surprised as Geoff joined the embrace also. "But I thought you guys would hate me! I nearly single-handedly ruined your great relationship!"

"Yes," said Bridgette, looking at him kindly. "And you wouldn't have done that if you weren't such a good friend."

"Wha?"

"Ch'yeah, dude! A guy cares enough about his friends to nearly break them up, that's some loyalty there, man!"

"You risked your own friendship with us to ensure that we remained together," said Bridgette. "That shows that you care enough about Geoff and I that you were willing to end up being hated by us, so long as we were happy. It takes a true friend to do something like that." She kissed him on the cheek, making him blush and grin.

Geoff then gave the poor man a full-out kiss on the lips, causing the startled musician to fall to the floor. "Yeah, man, I love you!" The party king turned to Bridgette and clasped her hands. "Bridgette, I'm so sorry I ever doubted you. Will you ever forgive me, my surfing queen?"

"Yes, Geoff! All I ask in return is that you forgive me!"

"Of course, my Bridgette babe! I love you!" The two kissed, as fervently and passionately as… well, what was normal for them, but that was still pretty fervent and passionate.

Trent climbed to his feet, wiping his mouth. "So you two are good?"

Geoff and Bridgette unlocked lips. "Yes!" Geoff screamed, in a euphoric daze.

"Definitely," smiled Bridgette.

"You know, Bridgette, let's reaffirm our pact right now," said Geoff. "Our pact to still love each other and care for one another, but compete against each other in a friendly way whenever we need to, and to never throw the game for the other. And if one of us wins, we'll split the prize with the other!"

"Absolutely," said Bridgette. "Shall we seal it with a kiss?"

"Boo-yah!" The two kissed again, just happy to be getting along. Trent smiled.

"That good enough for you?" Bridgette asked him between breaths.

"Yep. That works."

Still making out, Geoff and Bridgette stepped out of the room. Geoff wiggled his eyebrows and flashed a thumbs-up at Trent before they rounded the corner.

Watching the spot where they had vanished, Trent sighed in relief, simply glad it was over.

"I heard what you said."

Startled, Trent turned to see a pretty goth girl behind him, smiling coyly. "Gwen! What are you doing here?"

"I heard Bridgette shouting, came to see what was up, and overheard you three talking," she shrugged. "You know, I guess I never heard your side of the story on our break-up. What you did was sweet. And it took real guts to tell them the truth. They could have hated you. Some people less friendly than Geoff and Bridgette would have. But you told them anyway."

"Yeah, well, it's not like I could have –"

"Is that true? What you said about us?"

"Well, yeah. I was bummed when we broke up. Of course I was. I liked you a lot, Gwen. And when I saw Geoff and Bridgette in the same situation that we were in, I guess I kind of lost it."

Gwen smiled, putting a hand on Trent's arm. "You're sweet, Trent. You didn't deserve to go through that. But, even though it's over, I'm glad that we're friends."

Trent smiled. "Thanks. Me too."

* * *

Staci was meandering by herself aft of the ship, by the clutter of barrels and crates, thinking and worrying about the elimination ceremony that lay ahead of her. Lost in her thoughts, she was unaware of a certain redhead spying on her.

* * *

Confession Cam

**Scott **(Rubbing his hands together) Heh-heh. Time to put my plan into play.

* * *

Scott rose from behind a crate, beckoning the girl. "Psst!"

"Scott?"

"Yeah, it's me. Staci, listen. You believe that I've changed, right? You know I'm not the same nasty jerk I was last season."

"Yeah. Sure."

"Well, I've been thinking, and I think me and you are in danger."

Staci gasped. "Danger?"

"Yeah. Me, you, and the rest of the second cast. I think we're in danger of being voted off by the veteran players. They're more experienced than us and, what's more, they outnumber us! They'll see people like me and you as unnecessary threats and kick us off as soon as they get a chance!"

"Oh, no!" Staci cried. "I don't want to go this early! My team's voting someone off tonight! What if they vote me off? I can't stand to be voted off first again! That would crush me!"

"Okay, okay, chill out!" Scott cried, for Staci had been shaking his shoulders. "That's why I'm here. If we fourth seasoners form one giant alliance, we can gang up on the original players and vote off their strongest members. That way, we'll be safe from elimination, and our alliance will protect us throughout the entire game."

"Hey, that sounds pretty great!" Staci frowned. "Wait. You're on the other team, though. Why would you want to help me?"

"Staci, Staci." Scott slipped an arm around her shoulders. "This isn't about teams. This is bigger than that! It's about me, you, and the entire second generation cast! We fourthers have to stick together! Am I right?"

Staci looked at her feet. "I guess…"

"Besides… this is also me trying to make up for the way I treated you all last year. The least I can do for my fellow fourth seasoners is to help them get through the game."

"But if we vote out our strongest players, won't that make our teams weaker?"

"Not if everyone in the alliance does their part. Besides, we only need to make it to the merge, and then teams will be irrelevant. Come on, Staci. Don't you trust me?"

A musical chime sounded, and the conspiring cast mates looked up in alarm.

"That's right, you know the routine!" Chris crowed, walking out of nowhere in his usual fashion. "It's musical number time!"

"Come on, man," Scott pleaded. "I'm trying to make an offer here."

"Oh, and you will," said Chris. "In song!"

Scott slapped his hand to his forehead and ran it down his face, and then smiled slyly at Staci.

* * *

**Master of the Votes**

Based off of "Master of the House" from _Les Miserable _(film version)

Link: watch?v=qBU1PCIqO-8 **[1]****  
**

(That's right! We're actually doing this! Les Miserable all the way, people!)

(Start at 0:49)

Scott: _My dear Staci,_

_Ally with me,_

_We'll have the best alliance, you'll see_

Staci: But what about the other -

Scott: _Those other kids?_

_As we speak, they scheme_

_They'll vote us off, they see us as nothing_

Staci: Oh. Uh, okay…

Scott: _But my friend, I speak true_

_I'm doing this for you_

_Out of the goodness of my heart,_

_So here's what we'll do:_

The camera changes, and Scott is talking to Cameron and Mike.

_We'll band together_

_The cast from season four_

_To change my ways for all my days is what I swore_

Cameron tries to speak, but Scott puts a finger over his lips.

_Vote for the veterans_

_Redeeming all my sins_

_By doing so, you'll be safe from elimination!_

The scene switches again, and Scott is pleading with Zoey.

Scott: _I just want to help a friend out_

Zoey: Leave me alone.

Scott: _I just want to lend a hand_

Zoey: Get away from me, Scott!

Scott: _I'm trying to do you a kindness, why can't you understand_

Zoey: I'm not going to fall for your tricks again, you rat!

She leaves, and Scott glares in her direction.

Scott: (To Katie) _Why Katie, my poor dear_

_You look so grim and drear_

_With Sadie gone, you simply want to shed a tear_

_Don't fret, I'm here for you_

_You're new to this game, too_

_You want to get far, so let's raise this bar_

_And include you_

_I'm creating an alliance_

_One for the fourth season crowd_

_Vote with us, you'll rock this contest, _

_and Sadie will be proud!_

(Katie jumps for joy, and Scott smirks.)

Staci, Cameron, Katie, Mike: _Master of the votes! Lifts us to the sky!_

Scott: (To Brick) _Really, I'm like the friendliest guy!_

Others: _There for the needy, selflessness himself_

Scott: _You think I'm bad, but I want to redeem myself_

(He pops up behind meditating Dawn, surprising her, and grasps her hand.)

_Loves the great beauty of nature._

_Am a huge Steve Irwin fan!_

(Dawn takes her hand back and stomps off.)

_I see you still don't trust me,_

_But I swear there's nothing underhand!_

(To Nathaniel) _Good day, good Nathaniel_

_My friend, how do you do?_

_I have got quite the proposition for you_

_You're worried since you're new_

_Think you'll be kicked off, too_

_But join with me and the others won't have a clue_

_The underdogs will take the lead now_

_We will rise up through the ranks_

_We'll kick off the toughest players, we'll bite them in their flanks._

Nathaniel: Thanks for the offer. I'll, uh, think about it. (Steps away.)

Scott: (To Dakota) _You have such great strength_

_And unpassed beauty, too_

_Why would anyone vote for a girl like you? (Staci tries to answer this, but Scott quickly shushes her.) I'M SPEAKING!_

_Come and join us_

_An alliance you can flaunt_

_Come on, sweet Dakota, it's what Sam would want_

(Grinning, Dakota gladly shakes Scott's hand.)

(To B) _When it comes to fixing the votes_

_No one is greater than I! _(B shrugs.)

_Let's make an alliance, all of us this moment_

_Oh man, to the finals we're gonna fly!_

(Skip to 4:10)

Everyone: _Master of the votes_

Katie: _Lives for our behalf!_

Everyone: _Buddy, pal, amigo_

Zoey: _Don't make me laugh._

Everyone: _Bring us to the top, our friend and our mate_

Mike: (To Cameron) _I'm not sure if this idea is all that great._

Everyone: _Everyone in Scott's alliance! Everyone needs a second chance!_

Scott: _No more nastiness or sass!_

Others: _Yeah!_

Zoey: _You all can't believe this BLEEP!_

Others: _Ooh!_

All: _Everybody give a pass, to this reform, he has class!_

As everyone cheers around him, Scott looks smugly at the camera.

* * *

Confession Cam

**Scott** Ha! This is perfect! With the protection of this alliance, I'm guaranteed to be safe from elimination all season! And, since I'm helping the others as well, soon all of them will be eating out of my hands! Scott, my friend, you are a genius.

**Brick** Wow. An alliance purely for us fourthers. How great is that, huh? I'm still kind of wary about the whole controlling-the-votes idea, but hey, as long as my loyalty to my team isn't disrupted, it should be fine, shouldn't it?

**Cameron** I have to say, I'm definitely wary about getting into an alliance with Scott. I know he likes me, since I gave him the means to repair his half-eaten body, but Scott works by being sneaky. I can't help but think he has an ulterior motive. I might vote with him, depending on the person and the situation, but I'm not guaranteeing anything.

**Zoey** No way am I going to vote with Scott! (She says his name as if it's a particularly disgusting word.) After the way he treated me, it's going to take a lot more than that to win my trust! He's up to something, I know it!

**Katie** Oh. My. Gosh. I get to be in an alliance! I might actually have a chance at getting far this time! See, Sadie, I told you Scott wasn't that bad! He's actually a real sweetheart!

**Scott** That Katie? Pfft. Easily one of the stupidest girls I've ever met. Without her little BFF here, she's as controllable as a puppet. Heh!

**Dawn** I refuse to trust Scott. His aura still shows deceit! He will have to show a true change in character before I lend my alliance to him again.

**Mike **I don't know about this whole Scott thing… I mean, I'm all for giving people second chances, but I'm just not ready to give him my alliance yet. Sure, I'll vote with him, as long as I'm okay with the person being voted off, but I'm not going to consider myself in his alliance just yet.

**Nathaniel** I've been warned by some of the others to watch out for Scott. While I totally believe it's possible for someone to change, I'm just hesitant about giving my alliance to someone this early in the game. I'm still the newbie, and I'd like to stay on good terms with everyone, you know?

**Dakota** Yay! Dakota being in alliance!

**B** (Scratches his arm and shrugs, looking unsure.)

* * *

The contestants were pleasantly surprised when they discovered that dinner was actually semi-edible this time: Chef was cooking a gigantic pancake buffet. While the cakes themselves were only lukewarm and still had batter at their center, it was like five-star dining to the teenagers who had been enduring Chef's usual caliber of cooking for the last two days. "Wow! Pancakes! It's like you almost tried today!" cheered Tyler, as he walked into the dining room.

"This'll be excellent for my hypoglycemia," said Harold.

"Of course. Why would you ever expect less from us?" Chris said as the teens filed into the room, prompting more than a few eye-rolls. "Since the biggest of you losers is being voted out first tonight, might as well do it on a state-of-the-art pancake dinner."

The contestants were eager as they got in line for their delicious food by-products, though none so much as Owen. The big teen was rocking back and forth on his toes, chewing on his lip as he anticipated the meal. "Isn't this awesome?" he exclaimed to Nathaniel, who was in line beside him. "I've always dreamed of eating pancakes, ever since the last time I had pancakes! It's like a dream come true!"

"You're telling me," grinned Nathaniel. "I already get sick at the thought of Chef's standard food."

"Yeah! It's so… awesome!" Owen raised his arms, smacking Nathaniel in the face with his tray. "Oh, man, I'm so sorry!"

"I'm okay, I'm okay!" Nathaniel cried, hiding his face before Owen could cause more harm.

Pleased with the meal choice, the atmosphere in the room was generally cheerful. Trent and Gwen sat across from each other, making up for old time. Cody felt less lucky, as Sierra was practically in his lap, fussing all over him and complaining that he was too scrawny and needed to eat more. As Staci stepped out of line, her plate piled high with pancakes, Scott beckoned her from a corner. "Yeah?" she inquired.

"We need to discuss who to vote off tonight," the redhead whispered. "Someone on your team, since you're the ones who lost."

"Okay! Who do you think it should be?" said Staci.

"Well, let's think about it. Who on your team seems to be a complete dolt, yet has managed to make it extremely far in every season?"

"Um…"

Scott motioned with his eyes, and Staci followed his gaze. Owen had reached the front of the line, and Chef plopped a steaming heap of pancakes on his plate. "Ha ha, you call that a big serving?" Owen chortled. "That's nothin'! Pile it on, Cheffy!"

Chef's eyes narrowed. The cook raised the entire pancake stove above the boy's head.

Staci and Scott winced as the large teen screamed, and pancakes splattered against the walls of the room. "Oh, yeah! Now that's what I'm talkin' about!" Owen cried.

Staci's eyes widened in understanding. "You mean… Chef?"

"No! I'm talking about Owen!"

"Owen? Oh… I don't know. He seems nice to me."

"Why do you think he's gotten so far in every season?" Scott looked to Owen, who was chanting "Pancakes! Pancakes!" over and over again. "He pretends to be clueless, so that no one sees him as a threat, and he's never voted off! The kid's a mastermind and a genius!"

* * *

Confession Cam

**Owen** Pancakes! Pancakes! Pancakes!

* * *

Staci still looked uncomfortable at the idea of voting off the gentle giant. "Okay… if you're sure…"

"Of course I'm sure. You do want to be in the alliance, don't you?"

Staci jumped. "Yes! Yes I do!"

"Good. I'll tell the others." As Scott left, Staci looked worriedly at Owen, who had just accidentally stabbed Nathaniel's hand with his fork.

* * *

Confession Cam

**Cameron** Scott wants us to vote off Owen? I'm not going to do that to my teammate! He risked himself getting eaten by a great white to help us win today!

**Nathaniel** (Wrapping a bandage around his hand) Owen? I don't want to vote the guy off. He's well meaning, and… he's a serious hazard to my health. (He looks down.)

* * *

After dinner, the Anemones met on the set of risers on the main deck. As the starlit sky shone above them, they tried not to cast glances at the plank to their left and the crashing waves below, knowing that soon one of them would find themselves walking it. Chris paced in front of them, thriving on their trepidation. He held a metal bucket in his hands.

"Bloodthirsty Sea Anemones. You didn't do your best out there and, as a result, have lost the first challenge of Total Drama Ocean. As punishment, one of your teammates is going to be booted off the show, forced to walk the plank for shame, and will have to endure the largely unpleasant swim of losers all the way back to the mainland. And they can't come back. Ever.

"Moments ago, we had you record your votes in the confessional."

* * *

Confession Cam

**Brick** Scott told us to vote for Owen, though I'm not sure about that. I have to admit, I'm kind of fond of the big guy. Hmm…

**Gwen** I'm voting for Cameron. Not that I have anything against him. I just don't know him very well, but he did win last season, so he could potentially be a threat.

**Nathaniel** I really like all the people here. Everyone's so friendly and welcoming, and it's hard to vote anyone off. Owen's a great guy and all, but let's face it. We're on a _wooden_ ship. He's already managed to sink it once. Plus, if he stays, he's probably going to accidentally kill me by the next challenge.

**Harold** Cameron! Winner of the most recent season, and fellow brainiac! You are a threat to my mad skills! And so I vote for thee, my honorable opposition! Kiai!

**Tyler** I'm voting for Dakota, because it was her fault we lost the challenge. Nothing personal against her, but if we need muscle on this team, that's what I'm for! (He flexes.)

**Dawn** I consulted my tea leaves earlier, and I was told to vote for Gwen. I'm not entirely sure why, but I suppose Gwen it is!

* * *

"In this bucket are twelve cod," Chris continued. "Twelve of you will receive one by way of fish-slap, which means that you are safe from elimination tonight. The unlucky thirteenth player will have been voted out by their team, and must walk the plank of shame, and leave Total Drama Ocean for good!"

Several contestants gulped at this. Chris smiled, and pulled a fish out of the bucket. "The first cod goes to… Gwen."

The goth girl caught the fish as Chris hurtled it at her, halting it centimeters from her face. "Hey! It doesn't count if you catch it! Give me that back!"

Chris snatched the fish from her, and Gwen sunk unenthusiastically into her seat. "Oh, the things I do for this show."

Chris returned to his previous smile. "The first cod goes to… Gwen." He hurtled the cod at her, which hit her face with a wet slap and dropped into her lap. The others winced.

"Much better," sighed Chris. "The second cod goes to… Brick."

Brick steadied himself as the cod slapped against his face.

"The next one safe from elimination is… Staci."

Staci grunted as she was fish-slapped. She grabbed her cod and joined Gwen and Brick, standing to the side of the risers.

"Bridgette." Bridgette caught the fish after it slapped her and held it gently, not wanting to cause more harm to the already surprised animal.

"B."

"Harold."

"Nathaniel."

"Tyler."

There were now five contestants remaining on the risers. Cameron, Dakota, Dawn, Owen, and Lindsay stared at the bucket nervously. "Campers. There are five of you left, but only four cod. Owen and Cameron, your search for the shark took so long that it may have cost your team the win. Lindsay, choosing the most physically demanding job simply so you could work on your suntan? Not your smartest move, girlfriend. Dakota, you may be strong, but your fatal distraction ultimately led to your team's downfall. Dawn, you rescued the other team from the gut of a ferocious whale shark – which, while altruistic, may have given them an advantage that cost you the win."

He gleefully scrutinized their worried faces. "The next cod goes to… Dakota."

The mutant squealed in glee as she was fish-slapped.

"Congratulations. Your brute strength seems to have rescued you from the chopping block. You're safe for another challenge.

"I'm gonna give this next cod to… Lindsay."

Tyler roared in joy, wrapping his arms around his girlfriend.

"Hmm… Dawn."

Dawn held her fish lovingly. "Don't worry, little one. I'll watch over you." Nathaniel breathed a quick sigh of relief as the aura reader joined the survivors.

Cameron and Owen suddenly realized they were the last two. Their shocked faces slowly turned to look at one another.

"Cameron. Owen," said Chris. "Our two original Island winners. I regret to inform you that one of you is going home tonight."

The safe contestants watched their two teammates, trepidation in their eyes. Chris raised a final cod out of the bucket, the huge jolly oaf and the scrawny bubble boy eyeing it desperately.

"This is the final cod of the evening," stated Chris. He scrutinized Cameron and Owen, their eyes wide in fright, fists clenched in tension. Owen started shaking. Cameron chewed his lip. The fish stared at them, gulping air.

Chris opened his mouth.

The two boys froze, fixated on the host.

Chris raised his hand, twirling his pointer finger in the air.

Cameron hugged his knees to his chest, and Owen covered his eyes.

The host lowered his finger, moving it back and forth between the two.

Cameron whimpered, and Owen wrapped his hands around the bubble boy, hugging him close.

Chris smirked, closed his eyes, and tapped his chin.

Owen squeezed Cameron tighter, unintentionally knocking the small boy's glasses askew.

"The final cod goes to…"

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

"Cameron."

Cameron's sigh of relief was interrupted when a cod smacked him in the face.

"Owen! You're out!" Chris tried to slam an inner tube over Owen's head, though it couldn't squeeze past the burly boy's shoulders. "Plank of shame for you, my friend."

"Oh. You guys voted for me?" Owen looked devastated. "Oh, uh… okay."

He stood from the risers and walked towards the railing, his arms pinned to his sides by the inner tube, as the others watched guiltily. Cameron patted his back as he passed. "Sorry, Owen."

"Uhh… We didn't do it because we don't like you!" Nathaniel said quickly.

"Yeah! We did it because you got so far every time!" called Brick. "That meant you were a threat! If you want to, think of it like we voted you out because you were so popular!"

"Really?" Owen said. "You guys still like me?"

"Of course we like you, Owen," said Gwen. "Come here." The goth hugged her tubby friend, their other teammates following her example. The big lug managed a weak smile, though he still looked upset.

"Aw. Thanks, guys." He looked out over the sea. "Well, I guess it's time for me to go." As his teammates waved solemnly, Owen stepped out onto the plank – which immediately snapped underneath his weight, dropping the large teen into the water.

"Owen! Not the plank of shame!" Chris slapped his palm to his forehead, and then turned to the remaining Anemones. "The rest of you are safe… for now." He smirked evilly at them, the small candles set up along the elimination risers casting his face in a sinister glow.

* * *

Confession Cam

**Gwen** Wow. People voted Owen off? I can hardly believe it. The guy's always so happy and friendly. Why would anyone vote for him?

**Bridgette** Poor Owen… He was the only one who actually enjoyed the game. Out of all the people to go, why him?

**Brick** Ohh… I feel kind of guilty about voting off Owen. He was a good soldier.

**Scott** Hook, line, and sinker. (He mimes banging on a drum set.)

* * *

Later that night, Trent walked up to the main deck, allowing the star-filled sky, crashing waves, and sweet sea breeze to clear his busy mind. Sighing, he leaned against the ship's railing, absentmindedly strumming a tune on his guitar as he thought about the day's events. Again, he failed to notice a dainty blonde, meditating on the railing beside him. "That was very brave, you know," said Dawn.

Trent jumped, nearly flinging his guitar overboard. "Woah! Dawn? Again?! Do you have to give me a heart attack every time you want to talk?"

"You realized you were in the wrong and told Geoff and Bridgette the truth, and in doing so, saved their relationship. You are truly a great friend."

"Well, yeah," Trent said, leaning against the railing. "I'm just glad it's over."

"Now what about your other problem?"

"What other problem?" Trent said, a little too quickly.

"Your aura reveals great sorrow within you. Something climactic happened to you over the break. Something devastating."

"Get away from me!" Trent snarled, backing away.

"But Trent, I only want to help you. You must face these problems sooner or later."

"You don't tell me what to do! Stay out of my life, you freak!"

Trent stormed down the deck. Dawn watched him go, and shook her head sadly. "I'm sorry for your loss."

* * *

Owen bobbed placidly among the ocean swells, only his head popping out of the inner tube's center. "Yeah, I know that they said they voted me off because I was so popular," he said to the camera, looking upset. "But I'm still bummed that I didn't get to stay in the game longer. I just wish there was some way to make this day better." The teen noticed a brown lump floating towards him, bobbing on the surface of the water. "Wait! Could it be?"

Owen lifted the object out of the water: a coconut with a smiley face crudely drawn onto it, which looked like at one point it had been chopped in half and then crudely duct-taped back together. "It is! Mr. Coconut! You're back! Oh-ho-ho, this is the best day ever!"

Owen's cries of joy traveled far across the ocean waves and long into the night.

* * *

**B** - Owen

**Brick** - Owen

**Bridgette** - Cameron

**Cameron** - Lindsay

**Dakota** - Owen

**Dawn** - Gwen

**Gwen** - Cameron

**Harold** - Cameron

**Lindsay** - Cameron

**Nathaniel** - Owen

**Owen** - Dakota

**Staci** - Owen

**Tyler** - Dakota

**Owen:** 5

**Cameron:** 4

**Dakota: **2

**Gwen:** 1

**Lindsay: **1

**Voted Off List:** Owen

* * *

**Team Guide**

Raging Starfish

Alejandro

Cody

Geoff

Heather

Izzy

Katie

Leshawna

Mike

Noah

Scott

Sierra

Trent

Zoey

Bloodthirsty Sea Anemones

B

Brick

Bridgette

Cameron

Dakota

Dawn

Gwen

Harold

Lindsay

Nathaniel

Staci

Tyler

* * *

[1] This is on Youtube, the site won't let me paste the full address.

**Song Disclaimer:** I do not own or have any affiliation with "Master of the House" or _Les Miserables_. They belong to their respective owners.

Like the music choice? I thought it was pretty awesome.

Please, review, review, review! Complain to me! Tell me what you HATE! (Or Love.) I appreciate all the feedback you can give me!

I'm also going to be posting a new poll. Now that Owen's gone, who you would like to see win the season? Vote on my profile page!

Thanks for reading!


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